[bizi]

I am to limit my computer usage.....
until I can get back to sanity.
bizi

[bizi]

Happy Mardi Gras!

I am on the fence as to whether to go or not.
I don't think I need to exposing myself to all of that.
It would be the last hurrah before lent tomorrow.
I had One dog fish head 90 minute IPA to drink

which is like 2 beers and that was all.

I met with Robin yesterday.....
She said I do not present manic. But after talking to me,
yes she believed that I was manic.
So I guess I just have to wait for the meds to work.
I got very little accomplished yesterday.

One load of laundry.
I posted on the forums different ones that I was not posting anymore,
Trying to regain sanity.
Robin asked me what I was going to do.
I said go to the planet fitness and walk on the treadmill.
So that is what I did.
It had been 245 days since I was there 8 months!
I walked for half an hour, 1.25 miles...that was all that I could do.

I took 5mg of zyprexa with lunch yesterday and 10 mg of it at bedtime.
Not because I meant to take 10mg I forgot that I was supposed to take only 5mg.
I am going to look up manic dosing.
This is not a good time to be manic with marysue probably needing surgery.
Jeff said he would call brian, his brother and see how she is doing. I told him he needed to call the nurse.
everything is shut down here because of Mardi gras, and it is just regular work day every where else.
We don't have any food in the house except for some ham and cheese to make a sandwich.
I need to take a shower.

[bizi]

Unfortunately, I am manic and Jeff doesn't think so.
I was able to take a shower, get dressed,do face and hair, I look presentable.
10;30-I took an extra 5mg zyprexa this morning, along with 50mg of visteral.
I threw in the bath rug in the washer, because it had so much hair spray it was sticking to my shoes and almost tripped. It is out of the dryer now. Fresh and fluffy now to clean the rest of the hair spray off the floor.
12;30-
I ate a wonderful ham and cheese sandwich on daves killer bread. It was tasty.
took my noon meds. including 80mg of geodon and 400mg of tegretol. and supplements.
I have texted Robin my therapist today she is very supportive.

Jeffs mom is having surgery tomorrow so he is flying to INDY leaving in the morning.
We are going to board the cat because I can't do dressing changes by my self.
I called Carol My old AA sponsor. We have become friends since I am not doing AA.
And spoke with her, she is willing to be a support person for me. She said that she would come over for dinner at 5pm every night. I am so glad that she is willing to do this for me. She said that I would have that to focus on during the day since I won't be working.
I am in the middle of canceling 13 clients appointments , have to call and reschedule them
and will be off work for the next 7 days. until I see my psychiatrist on next tuesday at 10;20am..March 3rd.
I have billing to do, charting and filing to do. I think I will change my out going message
on my voice mail saying that I will be out of the office until March 4th.
That gives me a week to stabilize.
So, Jeff will be gone from wednesday to sunday. Hattie the Cat with dressing changes is going to vets tonight at 6pm. He just left to meet a friend to go do"Mardi Gras"parades and such.
He put UBER back on his phone, probably because I may not be able to drive him to the airport in the morning. we will see how I am.
I threw away the last 2 truly beers in the fridge and
I will start my abstaining from alcohol today.
This past week I was only drinking 3 beers a night last night I had 1 strong beer.
I was told to limit my computer usage but have not been able to do so.
thank you for reading.
bizi

[~Christina]

Bizi you have so much going on. I’m glad Carol will see you daily, that’s a great support.

Hopefully your meds will soon start to level you back out.

Maybe set a timer for 30 mins and do some charting and billing? Give you something to focus on.

I’m cheering you on

[bizi]

Thank you @~Christine

I hope you are doing ok?
bizi
((((HUGS))))

[giddykitty]

Hey Bizi! Sorry you're going through all this right now. Hope things calm down soon.

[bizi]

I am going to bed sooner tonight. jeff will be gone when I get up.
I am having a hard time typing.
thank goodness for spell check.
jeff leaves at 7;45am, his good friend paul is taking him to the air port for a 9:30 am flight.
tomorrow:
I have to pick up paper work, orders for tegretol level. and have blood work drawn tomorrow.
And come up with dinner for Carol, my friend from AA
who is coming at 5;30pm.
Her idea, She suggested it. I have all day to come up with dinner.

She is very wise. I think that her son has bipolar also.
So she has experience with it.
I did some filing and made phone calls canceled appointments for tomorrow at least and will make more tomorrow.

It is 9:40 and I am hungry!
Am signing off.
bizi

[giddykitty]

glad you have someone to visit with you while he's away. hopefully you'll find something good to eat tonight! yeah it is getting late, i'll bet you're hungry!
Take care and best wishes!

[bizi]

thanks giddy for posting.
I have to go pick up my lab draw order from my psych doctor orazio office tomorrow.
Have lunch at sandras the figure out dinner for Carol?????
I have to call and cancel the rest of my appointments for the week,
have a good evening.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am going to bed sooner tonight. jeff will be gone when I get up.
I am having a hard time typing.
thank goodness for spell check.
jeff leaves at 7;45am, his good friend paul is taking him to the air port for a 9:30 am flight.
tomorrow:
I have to pick up paper work, orders for tegretol level. and have blood work drawn tomorrow.
And come up with dinner for Carol, my friend from AA
who is coming at 5;30pm.
Her idea, She suggested it. I have all day to come up with dinner.

She is very wise. I think that her son has bipolar also.
So she has experience with it.
I did some filing and made phone calls canceled appointments for tomorrow at least and will make more tomorrow.

It is 9:40 and I am hungry!
Am signing off.
bizi

Thanks Bizi I’m doing okay !

I’m glad you have Carol and things to keep you busy

[bizi]

Talked with hubby tonight. He got in ok to INDY.
Will go see his mom in the hospital....she did well after surgery.
It took 2 people to stand her up so that is not good.
She will have to go to a rehab place once discharged, she will not like that at all.
I have been giving up alcohol for lent for some time now. Same this year.

See how it goes 42 days...think it will be harder this time because I am manic....
This has been a long day. I keep having to remind myself it is wednesday.

I have labs drawn tomorrow morning,
Best buy to take back the phone charger doesn't work.
lunch at sandras, maybe mousaka?
A/C menards come between 2:30 and 4pm for winter inspection.
There is an AA meditation meeting at 5:30
Not sure if I want to go to that. I invited carol over for a ham dinner.
that would be at 6;45.
It is now 9;45pm and I should think about going to bed soon.
Thanks for putting up with my ramblings.....



met a woman there and gave her my number, her name is Nicole.

She is a nurse and was 18 months sober and decided to inject

benadryl and got a blood clot in her arm with damage to the surrounding tissue,
she may lose 3 finger tips. That was 7 weeks ago.
bizi

[~Christina]

Glad Jeff made it, sorry his mom will need rehab but it’s really helpful in gaining strength overall !

You have so many things going on , which is probably good going from one task to the next.

Good luck on no alcohol for lent

Yikes, losing fingers

Life is so hard at times. Many hugs

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Sometimes people make really big gains fast. Maybe she'll only need rehab a short time or even she'll start walking again in the hospital. Rehab sounds like it might be appropriate just having someone checking on her; she sounds really fragile right now. Another option to consider is home health rehab. That's nice because you get therapists and nursing in the home and the rehab can be more specifically tailored to the patient. (Can you tell I preferred home health by a thousand times after working most of my career in nursing homes? .

I hope that going AF goes well for you and I'm glad you have Carol keeping you from being alone.

Are you getting sleep now? Do you feel less manic?

[Fuzzybear]

Hope you get some sleep

[bizi]

It is down in the 30's tonight cold for us

in cajun country, lafayette, louisiana.
I am getting to bed soon, need to take my meds and go to sleep.
I had already talked to jeff this evening and forgot....
sigh
not good.
bizi
still manic.....

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Sometimes people make really big gains fast. Maybe she'll only need rehab a short time or even she'll start walking again in the hospital. Rehab sounds like it might be appropriate just having someone checking on her; she sounds really fragile right now. Another option to consider is home health rehab. That's nice because you get therapists and nursing in the home and the rehab can be more specifically tailored to the patient. (Can you tell I preferred home health by a thousand times after working most of my career in nursing homes? .

I hope that going AF goes well for you and I'm glad you have Carol keeping you from being alone.

Are you getting sleep now? Do you feel less manic?

Hi sweetie,
thanks for your note.

It takes me 30 minutes to get ready for bed. so that puts me to bed around 11;15.
I feel manic still.
She will say anything she will say to get out of going to rehab.
With both sons there to talk to the social worker discharge planner...they will make sure she goes.

But after she is strong enough to go home I am all for in home health. That is unless she hires sitters 24/7 and she can't afford that.
She has a wrap on her head under her chin to keep her jaw in place...I feel so sorry for her. I wonder how long she is to wear that?
bizi

[bizi]

This is what I sent my pdoc:
Dr. Orazio,

Just wanted to update you.
I think I am a bit better today, less manic.
Have been sleeping at least 8 hours every night,
less computer time, not drinking since Sunday (2-23-20).

Have not been working all week, getting errands done.
Will not work until I see you on tuesday morning.
Then I have half days the rest of that week.

I decided that I am not taking any new clients at this time,
was getting too busy.


I get my tegretol level drawn this morning.
And if there is still wiggle room....would like to increase
the dose..that is if we can.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Elizabeth



I did not tell her that jeff is gone until sunday.
I talked to kay this morning.
Need to get going to get my blood level for tegretol drawn at 11;30.

Just took the 5mg of zyprexa and 50mg of visteril right now,
then lunch at sandras.
Then I start on the billing. and the A/C guy comes. I should be able to finish the billing today, I hope.

Wonder how my mil is doing?
My phone is at 5%
need to charge it, have to go to best buy and get a new charger, I also have a car charger so that is good. I have a land line with the fax machine too....need to get going!
bizi

[bizi]

Thanks for your support ladies!
4th day alcohol free.
My mental health is not good. I am worse.
Went to another AA meeting this time it was
a meditation one they meet every thursday at 5;30.
I liked the meeting room(it is a churches library with couches and
comfy chairs to sit in) and working class people,
so much better than last nights meeting with swearing from 2 different people.
I don't think I will go back to that one.
I just ignored the religious parts, even so,
who knows, maybe I will have a spiritual awakening?
Have to be careful with my bipolar. After the AA meeting
we went to Bordons ice cream shop the last free
standing one in the world! I had a bowl of chilli
and some mint chocolate chip ice cream it was delicious!
I took my meds and I feel better coming home.
It was difficult driving in the dark. And Very hard concentrating.
So I won't be driving in the dark any more.
I really need to call my psych doctor Dr. Orazio.
If they are going to admit me to a psych hospital
I would rather it be done sooner than later.
Earlier today I wrote to her saying that I was a bit better.
This was not true. Now I am worse.

I feel so bad for Marysue, Jeffs mother is in ICU now with an
exacerbation of her myesthinia gravis=MG
and is on the ventilator following her surgery gastropexy(tack up her stomach).
He arrived in INDY and did not get to see her after surgery yesterday.
Went there this morning to see her and looked awful.

I am supposed to meet a friend who is a social worker tomorrow for lunch at 11:45,
vietnamese place close to my house. so that is goo. then some friends of ours invited me to their house for dinner tomorrow night at 6;30, I will call and ask them to come pick me up because I should not be driving at night.

I am sorry for the long post.
Thank you for reading along with me.
bizi

[~Christina]

I’m sorry your struggling

Hopefully tomorrow will be an improvement

[bizi]

Thank you
I am over whelmed right now. Jeff is gone till sunday.
slept good last night.
I believe I have developed a dependancey on jeff and am not functioning well by myself.
My friend told me to write down what is going on and to call my pdoc.
This is called a dysphoric mania...not fun.
I just talked to my pdocs nurse charmaine (she called me, tegretol levels are still too low)
and told her how unwell I was.
I discovered she was on vacation flying back.
my tegretol level was still not high enough for a therapuetic dose for some reason.
So she increased the dose in the morning. to 800mg twice a day.
I told her that I could not continue like this.
Felt like vraylar or haldol was needed for acute mania.
I am supposed to have lunch with a friend in 2 hours.
am waiting a call back from charmaine with Dr. Orazio instructions.
I have a bag packed with 3 days clothes and stuff.
It sounds like we are going to increase some meds.....so that is good.
jeff texted and they are just heading out to see their mom whose heart rate is
better and she can nod her head, still on the ventilator and in ICU.

I just asked jeff if he was mad at me? no answer....
sigh
hoping that Dr. Orazio will prescribe something for me.
bizi

[bizi]

Dr. Orazio said to increase the tegretol to 800mg twice daily.
And to go to the Emergency roomif I need to over the weekend.
I am having a weird side effect
my typing is off. fingers are falling off the keys.
interfering with typing and I am dizzy maybe I will go lay down for a nap?
bizi

[Misterpain]

Originally Posted by bizi

Dr. Orazio said to increase the tegretol to 800mg twice daily.
And to go to the Emergency roomif I need to over the weekend.
I am having a weird side effect
my typing is off. fingers are falling off the keys.
interfering with typing and I am dizzy maybe I will go lay down for a nap?
bizi

Bizi do you take a Proton pump inhibitor (! Drug like nexium,proposed etc ) by any chance ?

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Misterpain

Bizi do you take a Proton pump inhibitor (! Drug like nexium,proposed etc ) by any chance ?

nope, I take it they don't mix?

Hi friends,
The fine motor involvement may be from the zyprexa.

I am on 2 anti-psychotic meds now. I noticed my fingers occasionally falling off the keys while typing, for Just a few days, since taking the zyprexa for sure. I am not noticing right now though so that is good!

Spoke to jeff, his mom is having dialysis today.

Her kidneys aren't working, still on the vent. He texted me a picture of her and she looks awful...she wanted all measures taken she is NOT a dnr.

poor thing

Now, I am going to sandras to see what prepared food I can get from them, chicken salad, soups, tabouli....etc.

It sounds like Jeff decided he will be gone until tuesday. I see Dr. Orazio in the morning tuesday. And was going to start working half days wednedsday.


I feel like I can't take care of myself, like I am completely dependant on others to care for me. I am like a young child. I have already packed a bag for a 3 day stay at the hospital if I need to go.


I should have cleaned the house some.....I still have time.

Jeff said marysues house is awful, he picked up all of the trash. Brian doesn't do any cleaning around her house.
Trying not to complain because he is able to bring her food and look after her.
It is a blessing that he lives minutes away from her now.


There is some busy work for the business that I can do:

Need to put return address labels on my bills that I send.
Make up some new charts.

It is like I am avoiding work.
I need to finish the billing!!!!
I need to run to sandras!!!!
Paul comes to pick me up at 6;30 for dinner.
I need to start writing down what meds I take at what times am getting confused about that.
Geodon needs to be taken with food/meal to actually work. as does tegretol only just some food to protect the stomach.


Our cat, Hazel just knocked over 20oz of pop all over the floor and computer desk getting some things wet...jeffs stuff and other scraps of paper. I used a big towel to wipe it up....lots of fur balls and bits of black pieces from the computer chair that is slowly molting. I really need to run the vacuum.... sigh

Run to sandras, and some billing before paul picks me up....
Can I get off this computer?
bizi

[bizi]

9pm Just got back from our friends house. Looking back over todays doings and it wasn't much. I did not even do billing. I will do that tomorrow.
Maybe I will go to the horse farm market. It is open until noon. Scratch farm kitchen has a food truck there and they are so good!
Tomorrow night is the strings concert. Carol wants to go and said she would drive. Maybe she would like to do dinner? Maybe I could fix it for her like I said before. I am feeling better, more in control.
Thank you for your support.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Glad you are starting to feel better. Just take things slowly to help you stabilize. My therapist taught me the first weeks I was seeing him "do what you can do as you can do it" if reference to work. He was right.