[bizi]

I might be getting a bit hypomanic.
need to reel it in.
bizi

[bizi]

Lost a pound this week even though

I have been eating a bit of this and that.
Had 2 wonderful and delicious meals from

sandras health food cafe..
Mousaka yesterday for lunch then the same for

dinner. It is a greek dish with egg plant potatoes

and tomatoes.
love it!!!!
bizi
This heineken 0.0 is great and only 69 calories!

[bizi]

I had blood work done last week and they
stuck me 3 times to get some blood.
At least the digging around did not hurt.
The day of beauty turned out just fair.

the 19year old just acted like she did

not want to be there.


I started picking at my thumb just

now must get the clippers to take
care of it so I don't go all the way
to chewing it off and bleeding....
sigh some body is making a bunch of
noise possibly with their new motor cycle.

great! NOT!!!

Belt was great I had 2 bloody mary's

this morning with jeff.
last night,When he came home yesterday, I

picked him up at the airport.
I missed him.
We went out to eat at a favorite
place called social. I had 3 13oz sour
beer that I like.
We split half a chicken, I like dark meat and Jeff likes white meat it was delicious. We shared sides of braised brussel sprout and their famous macaroni and cheese. an were stuffed and went to bed at midnight. I did not sleep well and ended up getting up in the middle of the night to both my requip for my restless legs and zyprexa sublingual I finally went to sleep around 3 or 4am. Got up and went right to hub city diner. for my BELT. It was very good. came home and I was so sleepy that I wanted to lay down for a nap. after a 2 hour nap a swirl of acid filled my mouth of heart burn and I swallowed it down.That got me up in a hurry. Took one of jeffs pepsid and chewed on some tums like 6 of them about 15 minutes apart. So all of that contributed to the heart burn episode.
Thank you for bearing with me while I explained.
sorry this is so long.
I need to fill up my pill box, do laundry and start

to finish my folders and some other paper work!

Falling asleep at the computer.

Those 2 bloody mary's did me in.
I have a face chat with my provider tomorrow at 8;30.
I am not sure what I am going to say to her.
bizi

I think you should mention that you've been drinking and felt (still feel??) you might be going hypomanic. Those are important things for her to know so she can help you avoid completely going down the rabbit hole.

[bizi]

Thank you for your suggestion, I will take her lead.
bizi

[bizi]

Jeff finally went to the urgent care for his symptoms
of cardiac and lungs....of course he did not have any signs
when he got there.
They referred him to a cardiologist and then a pulmonary md after that.
He had some crackles when breathing, air hunger
like he was not getting any oxygen. Irregular heart rate 60 to 100.
He did not sleep last night due to symptoms, poor guy I felt sorry for him.
He was there a total of 3 hours. there will be an ambulance charge and radiology charge I believe. our portion of the bill was $118 so insurance paid the majority of the bill so far. 20/80%, Total out of pocket is $10,000,we have about $3,300 left to pay before they start paying 100%.
Anyway. He will get the best care possible.

bizi

[bizi]

Who carries a fire extinguisher in their trunk?
My dad does and used it to put out the fire in his car, totaled it.
That makes them a one car family now.
scary stuff!
bizi

[bizi]

4 weeks IP, 5 weeks of IOP Intensive out patient, 2 months back to the grind of things. Grateful to have the work that I do have. 9 weeks with out a pay check. Fortunately for us Jeffs mom left us some money so we are not feeling it. She pasted away the beginning of March. We were able to pay off the house, and 2nd mortgage. She was such a kind woman. She used to donate to a bunch of charities, so she was constantly being hit upon for donations all of the time. She gave $5-15 dollar donations. She received all sorts of trinkets from the charities, small blankets, moccasins, dream catchers, $1 bills

flags, etc. She lived frugally but was able to stay in her home. She died too young 87.

Her death was rather sudden. She passed away from myesthinia gravice. not sure of the spelling.Terrible disease. Muscular neuro involved. Exacerbates under extreme stress. Her stomach did a 180 flip. She had to have surgery to tack it in place, this surgery triggered her symptoms she wound op on a ventilator in ICU with a heart arrhythmia.They did plasma exchange like dialysis. The second treatment got her off the ventilator but before they took it she agreed that she did not want to be put back on it again. So she became a no code. They put her on a regular floor. and the boys went home.
8pm that night her vital signs were normal, at midnight the were not. The medical staff Tried to get a hold of us and could not, even jeffs brother had his phone turned off. So she died at 1am. with just the medical staff with her. That part was sad. They said she was not in any pain nor a lone. So we are grateful for that. Jeff told her he loved her and flew home.
neither boys knew that she could have symptoms again.
She lived a good life, had cared for her husband who was 10 years bed bound. He died in his sleep. years before He had had quadrouple by pass surgery. With his dads genes jeff could have inherited the disease.
jeff has been having symptoms both cardiac and pulmonary. Hopefully will be seen soon. The urgent care sent him to the hospital last week for chest pains and heart arrhythmia's he was having air hunger when he breathed in of course none of that occurred once he arrived to the hospital.

Poor Jeff.
He still is having symptoms unfortunately.
Just thought I would share a bit of my life right now.
And we are having a pandemic!!!!!
bizi

[bizi]

I just read that remeron is used to help stimulate appetite. I won't be taking that very often.
have a good day yall!
bizi

[bizi]

I am making chicken cordon blue tonight,
It is a messy chicken dish.
supposed to flatten the chicken breast then layer Dijon mustard, black forest ham then baby Swiss then a layer of fresh basil. roll it up and roll it in some egg and milk then in a roll of crushed Ritz crackers.
they are huge. supposed to cook for 30 minutes at 350 degree. Am waiting to put them in the oven jeff is napping so I don't want to disturb him.
He had a shorter day because the university closes at 1 pm on fridays.

Wearing masks every day is tough.
I drank 3 sips beers that I love and switched to 0.0 heinekins that are so refreshing. maybe I can keep it at 3 beers.
bizi

[bizi]

WE celebrate our 24 wedding anniversary tonight at Marcellos Italian restaurant, our favorite. They have muscles in this amazing buttery sauce that we dip our bread into...heavens it is so good.
Jeff orders the same thing seafood tritoney pasta dish with lobster shrimp and scallops, I usually get their fresh fish of the day.
Yummy!
our real date is august 24, 1996.
I have a hard time remembering the date.
bizi

[bizi]

we are safe in our house following the frightening storm Laura.
It hit 1 1/2 hours west of us hardest lake charles.
just lots of twigs from our big oak tree in the front yard and lots of pine needles from our neighbors house. Luckily her pine trees did not fall.
There is a dead one she should cut down but refuses to.
sigh
during storms we always worry about those trees.
a trellis fell down but it needed to come down anyway.
could have been so much worse.
feeling very fortunate.
bizi

[fern46]

So glad to hear you're safe Bizi! I am sure that must have been scary. Pine trees snap so easily! Thanks for letting us know you're ok.

[bizi]

Thanks fern!
hope you are doing ok.....
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[bizi]

Well I face timed with my new mental heath psych nurse practitioner.
She is great!
She was interested in me and what I had to say.

We talked for about 40 minutes although she was

50 minutes late for our call.
sigh

Her husband had been in a car accident with their 4 kids.

No one was hurt, thankfully.
She said that I could email her stuff but she would probably just reply make an appointment.
I think she will work out just fine......
we are keeping my meds the same.....she is letting me have my klonipin!
bizi

[Coffeee]

Sounds like a good outcome for you Bizi, med wise. And yay, good practicioners are worth their weight in gold. Sorry to hear about your nurse's situation that sounds scary!

[fern46]

I am glad the first appointment went well. It sounds like she took the time to really listen and that is so very important. I hope it continues this way in the future.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by fern46

I am glad the first appointment went well. It sounds like she took the time to really listen and that is so very important. I hope it continues this way in the future.

Well actually she did most of the talking.lol
bizi

[fern46]

Originally Posted by bizi

Well actually she did most of the talking.lol
bizi

What is it about mental health providers and their need to do all the talking? Its ironic.

[bizi]

I emailed her a bit of information that I did not get to tell her of the stress that I was under going, I also forgot to tell her that I had quit my business of 20+ years. I was a mess.
Maybe the next time we talk I can tell her that.
I see her once a month for a while.
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Sending hugs!!!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

Well I face timed with my new mental heath psych nurse practitioner.
She is great!
She was interested in me and what I had to say.

....

Excellent news! Pure gold when that happens. And I respect her for letting you keep your K-pin. I am fully aware of all the benzo issues (I've been on Klonopin for over 20 years), but I'm very suspicious of a practitioner who doesn't fully understand that for some people, benzos really are a life saver, sometimes.

[bizi]

Thank you beth, is your real name beth or elizabeth? Mine is elizabeth and I use beth Liz Bizi which is a family nick name, so I use it for all of my internet doings.
Thank you for posting back to me @BethRags
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Hey bizi,

I am also VERY suspicious of providers who refuse to prescribe benzos to some of us (including me). Fortunately no provider has tried to cut my benzos. I do stay away from them. I do not trust them (sadly, with good reason )

I did seriously consider face timing with a private (unknown) shrink. But papa bear was very nervous about it. And I understand his concerns I do not live in the USA. I have found the providers IRL to be VERY lacking in empathy or even compassion. And I have NEVER been ''a difficult patient''

And even if I had ever been (whatever the **** that even means ) it is their job to help. Mental health is as important as physical health. Who would have thunk it? Apparently in this forest, they do not

many hugs

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

Thank you beth, is your real name beth or elizabeth? Mine is elizabeth and I use beth Liz Bizi which is a family nick name, so I use it for all of my internet doings.
Thank you for posting back to me @BethRags
bizi

Hi bizi, I think your name is so cute. Actually, I am just Beth, named after my great-aunt Bertha...who, sadly, spent 40 years of her life in a "mental institution" because she had "manic-depressive psychosis." Her instituionalization would have been between about 1920 and 1960. Ironic that we share a mental illlness, but she died before I'd had the opportunity to meet her.