[luvyrself]

I read an article by past president of Google or whatever criticizing the superficiality of the social media world. With all the magic now at our fingertips, and Psych Central the only place where so many people understand me, I am really having trouble with everyone racing around at breakneck speed.
I have had one close friend my whole life, and then another. I am a friendship serial monogamist! Same with men.
Now I cant for the life of me find someone people who wants to go one on one, especially in real life. My current friend is not real well, and its a long story.
In trying to minimize my bipolar symptoms, I really cant juggle relationships.
I am so introverted that going to writers meet ups or bipolar groups are very triggering. I met all my friends different ways: adopting out a pet, neighborhood forum, a really high quality bipolar group in Pasadena. So I guess I just need to keep on keepin' on. With the holidays upon us, this is my hardest time to get through 3 holidays where I must not take on too much or have fantasized expectations. I need to take things really slow, always, as life swirls around me. Right now I am in a nasty mixed state because I took on too much for Thanksgiving.
I guess this is mostly a rant, with many of you going through the same. Thanks for being there and understanding this!

[singularity01]

I like your rant. I don't do much social media stuff anymore. I used to have a Facebook account, but the news feed just seemed like a rage fest for the most part. It triggers bad moods for me a lot of times.

[*Beth*]

I am immensely grateful for this forum. I cannot say that I have met anyone here who I don't feel I can trust...by that, I mean that the integrity and sincerity I'm finding here is immensely helpful. I definitely feel that I am part of a support group by being a member here.

[~Christina]

The 4 people I call true blue lifetime friends and I have met all of them here on PC

I have trouble with face to face friendships because I often can’t follow through on plans due to my pain or my BP but I think it’s more my pain.

In general what I have seen over the years PC is perfect for anyone that struggles with friendships that is face to face or on the phone ....people who are expecting communication right then.

On PC I can respond when I have the time or mentally, physically feel up to it.

The woman I moved into my home from PC who is NOT included in my 4 people , would get angry if I didn’t respond to her message or text from across the house!! FREAKING HELLO !!!!! I could go a hour to a day or more for me to reply. Sure if someone was in crisis but otherwise I didn’t jump everytime a message or text came through.

I’m literally the type of person who someone will call me and I’ll watch it ring, then text a while later ... what’s up ?

This is not me being an asssshole , this is me using self care and if my need for selfcare isn’t understandable well then I don’t need people like that in my life.

I’ll repeat again... if someone is in crisis I will immediately respond ! But chit chat ? It can often wait a couple hours or until I am done cooking , cleaning by etc.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

The 4 people I call true blue lifetime friends and I have met all of them here on PC

I have trouble with face to face friendships because I often can’t follow through on plans due to my pain or my BP but I think it’s more my pain.

In general what I have seen over the years PC is perfect for anyone that struggles with friendships that is face to face or on the phone ....people who are expecting communication right then.

On PC I can respond when I have the time or mentally, physically feel up to it.

The woman I moved into my home from PC who is NOT included in my 4 people , would get angry if I didn’t respond to her message or text from across the house!! FREAKING HELLO !!!!! I could go a hour to a day or more for me to reply. Sure if someone was in crisis but otherwise I didn’t jump everytime a message or text came through.

I’m literally the type of person who someone will call me and I’ll watch it ring, then text a while later ... what’s up ?

This is not me being an asssshole , this is me using self care and if my need for selfcare isn’t understandable well then I don’t need people like that in my life.

I’ll repeat again... if someone is in crisis I will immediately respond ! But chit chat ? It can often wait a couple hours or until I am done cooking , cleaning by etc.

Excellent post, Christina. I feel the way that you do about the chit chat, blah, blah. I find it immensely draining, especially because I'm in a lot of physical pain, etc. A lot of reasons.

Christina, you often hit the nail on the head in regards to how I also feel, approach, and see things. I don't quite know how to elaborate.

Thank you so much for being here at PC! I enjoy everyone's presence, but finding someone I can relate to a bit more deeply, in some ways, is a rare experience in this life that often feels complicated and isolating. You're not the only one I feel this way about here at PC.

[luvyrself]

I have decided to put myself out there, going to writers activities and possibly volunteering at a medical library, which could lead to a job though there are few medical libraries due to the Internet.
I would be lost without the forums here, but I sure love to have coffee with a close friend. I don’t want to compete for real life friendships with people who are like Facebookers on crack. Two of my friends are like that with huge networks. I have no idea how they keep up with all those people. That and other things are driving a wedge between me and a friend I was really close to. Her son is bipolar and has had depression, so she really understands me. However, I have been so much more productive making progress toward my goals since we haven’t been seeing each other that it makes me think our friendship was lulling me into a false sense of security and that it was bad for me in many ways. Venturing out of my comfort zone could be really good for me. I’ll have to be strong on my self care to tolerate the risks. Thanks for listening, people!

[bpcyclist]

Yeah, this was a great thread. I really relate. I will not answer my phone for anyone but my dad (who never calls), my kids (who never call), and my possibly ex/not-even-sure-what-we are (who only emails and texts anymore). I had not answered a call in probably 9 months until today, because it was someone working on my bike and I had to get it.

I don't have anyone to go out with anymore. By that, I mean, coffee or a movie or whatever. The 2 friends IRL I still sort of have, one lives in Seattle and basically is the, like, #6 person at the largest bank in the country. He gets 200 emails a day, makes 8 zillion trillion dollars a year and has no life. No time. Love him forever, but he is in a differnt place now. The other pal I adore lives here, but is a very busy architect. He also just has no time.

If I could choose to have coffee with anyone it would quite obviously be all of you. You get it. No explanation required. Maybe one of these computer geinuses at apple will figure out how we can have coffee together...

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Maybe one of these computer geniuses at apple will figure out how we can have coffee together...

Oh that's easy. Google Hangouts. It's free. My grad school group met a couple times each week on Google Hangouts video chat. We could see and hear each other.

I use it with my friends who live abroad. We used to video chat more frequently in the past -- not a lot lately -- but it was fun to see each other while we chatted. Like, when I lived in Chicago, I met my close friends who were there studying with their respective teachers in opera and concert piano.

Free video chat is available if you have a computer or smartphone with internet access.

[luvyrself]

Thanks so much, Blanche!! I could use this with far flung family also. I certainly have periods when I need to chill as a part of self care and dont want to make any demanding calls. "That customer service call I have to make, not now please!!! " I sure know the feeling.
Let's keep the link. This is so exciting. People are unbelievably nice in my neighborhood, but Im just on Next-door community forum with them.
This really makes my day, Blanche. You always post the most savvy resources. You would be a rockstar in that kind of job. Some hospitals have people who help people find resources, county offices, etc. I know, getting into a job like that is easier said than done. Im contemplating re-entering the job force myself but I have a lot of other responsibilities. This makes my day! You are the best, lady!!

[luvyrself]

One of the great things about having friends that really get you is that things that seem really troubling or irksome can seem really funny when you tell people that get you. BP, your uber busy friends remind me of my brother. He's 67, a true workaholic if you ask me. In addition to having his own legal practice with a huge environmental client, he is chairman of a law school and active past chair of the Cancer Society. He emailed me, "Im working x hours per month (a beyond ridiculous number of hours) until June, but its all good". My family is all over and I really need some help with my son who doesnt get me at all, but there is no way I can call my brother about it. When I wanted to ask his advice about finances last year, I could hear his printer clacking for a project he was working on. Phew. It's the "It's all good" phrase that I think is just so funny. Yeah, Rob, it's all good that Im way above average on some kinds of thinking, but bogged down by this damned bipolar. It's all good, buddy!!!! LOL!!

[luvyrself]

Just heard from a 20 year friend from out of town who unexpectedly retired for health reasons. Work stress aggravated her IBS and has made her quite ill,but I’m sure she will bounce back and return to her high energy self. Then we can have some adventures. Strange how life works sometimes!