[Crook32]

I don’t want to jinx anything but I will find out next week if I got the new job. Still have to see their offer and benefits so still hurdles to jump. But being a planner is one thing that helps calm me. I have never worked any place else so I am concerned just about everything from what to wear, the commute and most of all the schedule. I am used to being able to come and go as please which makes therapy possible. I am really scared that I am going to have to go down to once a week or that I won’t be able to see her at all. Right now she is 12 minutes from my office. New office she is 33 minutes. She keeps saying not to worry but I am in a complete panic. I don’t want to do therapy over the phone or computer. I don’t think I would like that.

So what should I be focusing on? How do I keep my mind from racing and going wild? I need to tell myself to slow down I don’t even have the job yet.

[*Beth*]

I find it natural for my mind to spin into the same ruminating whirl you've described. It can be about something as major as a new job - or as mundane as what time to wash laundry. A relentless hamster on a wheel spin. So tiring and what a waste of good energy.

The most helpful and productive way I've found to let go so I can have more control of my priorities is to force myself to stop the spinning thoughts (I even envision a STOP sign), stop
thinking,

-and take one step toward doing.

Doesn't matter what that step is, don't give in to the racing and going wild thoughts! Do something to change your focus - start with good, even breathing, then open your front door and step out for a walk, or turn some music on (music really helps change the thought pattern!) - whatever it is that you can do to re-adjust your focus. Even drinking a glass of water switches your brain's direction of action.

Every once in a while, when the ruminating thoughts arise remind yourself, It will all work out - and believe that (because it's true).

[saucygirl31]

Funny, i too have a method to shut down my thoughts.

I visualize a circle lighting up and spinning around, and i try to break the circle in my mind. Like, literally crack the metal ring and stop the thoughts.

[Moose72]

I definitely need this. My daughter just moved out and I dont know what I'll do without her.

[Rick7892]

Spinning mind often happens for me, too.

BethRags, thanks for the STOP! The STOP sign is a strong visual signal that is so helpful for trying to help cope that there are some variations of how to use it.

One way is to visualize and say STOP and substitute more helpful thoughts (The Stop! Technique and Controlling Obsessive Thoughts).

Another is to visualize the Stop sign as an acronym for
S=Stop,
T=Take some deep breaths,
O=Observe what one is experiencing
P=Proceed with something helpful (see the following for more details Stressing Out? S.T.O.P. - Mindful and for STOPP at STOPP skill).

Tools to try for coping! Maybe one of them will work for you.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Rick7892

.....

Another is to visualize the Stop sign as an acronym for
S=Stop,
T=Take some deep breaths,
O=Observe what one is experiencing
P=Proceed with something helpful (see the following for more details Stressing Out? S.T.O.P. - Mindful and for STOPP at STOPP skill).

Tools to try for coping! Maybe one of them will work for you.

I love the STOP acronym! Terrific - thanks

[Crook32]

Thanks for all the great ideas. I am just kind of bummed because I really thought I was going to be a lifer there. It used to be that most people were but the place has changed and now they are quick to replace people who have been there 20 or 30 years. In the past they were proud of the legacy crowd but now you hit 40 you better watch out. I think I will have a bit of a mourning period but hope it doesn’t turn into a relapse. Waiting for the offer for the new job to be official is driving me crazy. I need to know I have some job security.