[Loveislight]

I met my boyfriend over the summer. While he was on his meds. He was the sweetest and happiest person ever. We have been going out for 6 months now. He has been off his meds for 2 months now and every little thing gets him so angry that he destroys things around him and punching walls. He also screams at me and calls me out my name most times when he is having an episode. We are waiting to get his meds back but I’m just tired of the arguments, screaming and name calling. I don’t want to leave him while he is at his worst but I also don’t want the name calling and etc. he’s always breaking up with me during his episodes and once he is calm he apologizes and we’re back together. It is bad that I want a break while he is waiting on his meds?

[sarahsweets]

Welcome @Loveislight:

Originally Posted by Loveislight

I met my boyfriend over the summer. While he was on his meds. He was the sweetest and happiest person ever. We have been going out for 6 months now. He has been off his meds for 2 months now and every little thing gets him so angry that he destroys things around him and punching walls. He also screams at me and calls me out my name most times when he is having an episode. We are waiting to get his meds back but I’m just tired of the arguments, screaming and name calling. I don’t want to leave him while he is at his worst but I also don’t want the name calling and etc. he’s always breaking up with me during his episodes and once he is calm he apologizes and we’re back together. It is bad that I want a break while he is waiting on his meds?

I feel like you are in a dangerous place. You have been dating for 6 months and you are thrust into a position that even some married couples can not handle. I think from what you described, that his outbursts seem violent and that you could possibly be in danger. It doesnt matter if his anger is caused by a mental health issue or if he apologizes afterwards. It doesnt matter if he says he loves you or you dont think he will hurt you, by letting that happen you risk being hurt because he is clearly not in control when those incidents happen. Why do you feel it is your responsibility to handle this? He needs medication and management with a therapist- you are not that person. It is not your job to make him want to take care of his issues. He needs to be an active participant in his recovery.

[bpcyclist]

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. But his illness is his responsibility.

[~Christina]

Dangerous... you do not have a lot of time invested in this in the grand scheme of things. I’d advise you to take a giant step back out of this completely.

Maybe he will get better but that’s not on you. He can only get better and become stable if he wants too.

Do you know why he stopped his meds ?? Not that it really matters

As a person with Bipolar I’m usually kinda rooting for Bipolar people who are struggling.. he’s not struggling he’s exploding. I fear for your safety, maybe the next time he will hit something besides the wall.

Just walk away quickly

[kiminey65]

I am not an expert, and also not bipolar. BUT I am married to a man who is just being officially diagnosed bipolar & we have been on this volatile road for 6 years now. He does not respond to meds. Most notable when depressed. Nothing seems to give him relief. I believe he cycles in, then out more like an algorithm, meaning very down in the winter, and full throttle during nice weather. Neither is a picnic to deal with. I am however, the opposite of you in that I just told him I will never leave him when he is depressed, as he needs support. BUT I am now ready to leave him as soon as he decides to have mania again. He is so mean, loud, chaotic and angry while manic. It is just more than mt mental stability can handle. Because he usually gets prescribed bipolar meds while depressed, I believe his doctors weren't sure if he is bipolar, so he was on antidepressants for the past 3 years, which didn't help him from depression, and certainly didn't stop his whirlwind mania. He wouldn't adhere to the discontinuation of his anti depression, meaning he weaned off it 3x slower than recommended. And didn't take his lamictal as prescribed either. He was prescribed the lowest does of it, and literally cut it in 1/2 and only took one at night instead of twice daily. When I confronted him about it he got very angry with me.I tried the reasoning to him that if he is manic now he will get equally depressed eventually, at which point he shouted "mind your own business!"


I guess I am wanting to forewarn you that if your boyfriend isn't mindful of his illness and being proactive, I'd advise you to be careful in how much or quickly you invest in this relationship. It is exhausting! Like I said earlier, I am supporting my husband (while being resentful as well) but his next mania will likely have me packing my bags. I cannot do this much longer. Please listen to your inner voice in this. It IS his responsibility. Not yours. Good luck.