Bipolar check-in #43

You don't suck at all in my opinion. Is someone telling you this, or are you thinking of past negative things people have said (if you want to share, only)? I am sorry you feel this way either way.

I hope things turn out not too serious. That must be difficult and scary news to get. I am sorry you're dealing with it.

I sleep so much it's like short comas!

Doing alright. Emotionally feeling a little rough today. Talked to my SO about what's going on and some concerns I am having about our relationship. It's been long distance for awhile and that plus my mental health and other things are making it a bit difficult. At least we talked about it, though. I am finishing up that project I mentioned and am working to make it good, but trying not to be a perfectionist or check 1000 times like I did with the last project, resulting in a mini meltdown haha. I have my appointment tomorrow with the OCD specialist. I'll report back on how that goes. Sending compassion!

Both... but mostly past negative and cruel things so many abusers or just plain indifferent people have told me. Thanks for saying I don't suck

Hibernation

I sleep some but not much.. definitely not hibernation

They're the ones that suck and lack empathy to have treated you like that. I am sorry.

I'm feeling low again, probably do to this anxiety that I did said something stupid and I'll be ignored...yeah, maybe this happens more often than I'd like to admit. I usually try to make excuses for people for why they don't respond right away...yeah, actually, this case is different. I feel like I opened up "too much" and scared them away. I seriously feel like crying. Feeling pretty bad today.

Music was helping, but I can't listen to that all day, plus I'm running out of interesting things on my mp3. (Unfortunately, I've run out of space so I can't add new music). Um...oh, and hubby and I will be cooking later today...that's always good because when we combo work, we can make more tasty dishes...but apparently I "forgot" to set out something else for lunch, so I don't have a lunch today...I mean, I'll scramble something together, but I feel bummed about that...I just feel bummed in general because seems to be the consensus that I spend too much time online, but I'm so f'ing bored...this makes me less bored and less depressed. Sigh! I dunno what to do! I really have lost interest in most things and the blisters on my fingers are bothering me again so I don't really want to crochet right now.

edit: also really frustrated that my primary email account is taking forever to load and/or sometimes doesn't even load at all and I get a temporarily down notice. Sigh!

This is sad news. One of my best friends smokes at least a pack a day. I really wish he'd quit but its not my decision. I hope your biopsy comes out ok. I wwill be thinking of you.

Good luck with your OCD specialist appointment tomorrow! I know you talk a lot about your OCD struggles, so I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with.

I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad day, giddykitty. Please do cry if you need to let it out, though. Best to let it out than to bottle it in.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is a better day for you.

Ok, I'm back among the living. I went to see my pdoc first thing this morning. Then came home to sleep 4 hours. I would go back to bed, but I've got so much to do.

Really looking forward to my pdoc appointment tomorrow morning. I will let her know that I’m agreeable to taking an AD for my severe anxiety. I am so looking forward to having a reduced and more manageable level of anxiety. It’s really life limiting at the moment.

Big Hugs to everyone.

I am debating if I should tell my pdoc's assistant that I weaned myself off of rexulti. I never called her back to check in on how propranolol is working, and she never called me back either. But if I really want to get the point across, I can just bluntly tell her I won't take rexulti anymore and that propranolol is making me see floating sparkles... or whatever you call them.

I am just so tired of this akathisia crap or RLS... whatever it is. But I feel it in my arms now, so I am thinking this is more of akathisia.

I am going to try to get some sleep tonight and hope I can sleep more than 6 hours. That's my goal.

Thanks! It has preoccupied me a bit I think, perhaps I am obsessing about obsessing (yikes!). Hopefully getting the correct treatment will get me on the right path so I can get back to living life a bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle ... I am just so tired of this akathisia crap or RLS... whatever it is. But I feel it in my arms now, so I am thinking this is more of akathisia. ...

I've discovered that sometimes what I've referred to as a "tremor" is actually akathesia.

I hope you get a decent amount of sleep tonight, blue.

Your Dad must be a very special person to put up with her.
Give him a big hug and tell him how much you appreciate him

They actually really do suck, you're right

he was ''a special person'' and I was not

I was never good enough

hugs to you

Wow that’s so cool you were just up the road from me at Vandy. That is my preferred IP setting.. I’m sure Surgery was too much to handle, it’s an unforgiving speciality. Certainly Dermatology much slower pace, yes, but still bad news for someone battling with cancer.

As someone who struggle with plaque psoriasis and now PSA you know how frustrating and just plain painful it is.

Yes , working with spouses is often a disaster. Glad you and you wife never had that issue. Does she still work ER ?? That was my goal to be a trauma nurse , but life got in the way.

I hope you called

The gas helped me in the past for fillings. Ive never had anesthesia , my daughter did for her wisdom teeth , she did get sick following tho

I had a tooth pulled years ago , my dentist is amazing . I also shake like a leaf.. he numbed the absolute hell out of me. He says you will feel pressure but promised no pain, he was true to his word .. he gave me 10-12 pain pills if needed.

Hope your biopsies come back clear

Glad SAD is lifting

So sorry your going through all this

You are in my thoughts daily I really think an AD will drop the unrelenting anxiety

I would be blunt , I’d say ... since you don’t call me back I felt my only choice was to decrease Med since increased Inderal has done nothing to help. Why can I not speak to MY Pdoc about Cogentin ?? I have researched it and it has little side effects it will either help or not .... I need a plan today. I have suffered enough. So ....