Depressed and overwhelmed

I keep thinking I caused the coronavirus by not working hard enough to stop the organization behind it. I feel so guilty and responsible for all of the lives lost. I hope it doesn't harm anyone I care about. I'm just a wreck. I am irritable, crying (which isn't like me), and not getting any sleep despite being completely exhausted. I exist in this half asleep, half awake state. I can't get any work done.

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I just need this to stop. I want to call my psychiatrist, but I doubt there's much he can do. I'm not getting any work done and am so overwhelmed. I'm hearing voices, which isn't that unusual for me - but it's not helping. I just want to sleep until I feel better, but I have so much work to do. I'm so scared that I'll fail at my job. It's so hard to keep doing this. I'm so tired.

Any words of advice or encouragement are welcome

Hi Hope, It's clear you are experiencing delusions. You also mention other symptoms of psychosis. In your case, it's critical you do contact your pdoc. Stay safe.

Dear, please place a call to your pdoc.

Hi HopeforChange. I think Wild Coyote may be right that your fear is not reflecting the truth. From all I have learned, the coronavirus 19 was started because of people in Wu Han liking to eat bat meat. I'm sure you were not selling the bats for consumption in Wu Han. Even if you were selling the bats, you wouldn't have known that they would cause such a health issue. Though China surely has some rules about food safety, it's a huge country and rules are broken, sometimes deliberately for profit, and sometimes out of financial necessity.

I could go on an on with examples of why/how the Covid-19 could get out of control, but I won't. I will say that you are definitely not responsible, although those who are would surely love to pass the buck.

Please contact your Pdoc or Therapist Im sure they can help you

Thank you so much for the replies. I am doing a lot better today - I was fairly productive at work. I'm off on Friday, which should also help. I really appreciate everyone's kind words!!

Glad your feeling better