Which Symptoms Do You Find Most Difficult?

I find psychotic fear is the worst.

BPD longstanding pattern of abrupt, moment-to-moment swings. One day soon I will be free of this horrible disorder.

Same as Beth, dysphoric mania with anxiety and obsessive rumination. My mind can get completely stuck in a loop for weeks sometimes. Often I also build up a huge amount of anger. And an endless supply of anxious energy with no way to let it out. It makes me feel like tearing my hair out or smashing up my entire house. I don't even really sleep at that point, at most it's a sort of half-consciousness with thoughts spinning around in my head all night.

Sleep problems in general are one of the worst symptoms for me, especially when depressed. Also, lack of energy and lack of motivation. Feeling like each of my limbs weighs about 50 metric tons.

It has changed, depending on where I am with my illness. During my worst years, mania symptoms like impulsivity, disinhibition, and psychosis were the most problematic. Sometimes anxiety has been a real challenge. Nowadays, I'm more level, but still have occasional bouts of irritability (more like rage/ranting), especially as stress levels rise.

I'm trying very hard to manage my stress, but I'm not doing so perfectly. Really, it has been harder and harder to manage stress since maybe 16 years ago.

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Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer BPD longstanding pattern of abrupt, moment-to-moment swings. One day soon I will be free of this horrible disorder.

It sounds like you have too much going on

Two symptoms, difficulty getting out of bed and excessive spending. They occur on different poles.