Hafta Be Honest--Not Functioning At A Very High Level

Thanks so much, puzzlcar.

Thank you for your sweet words, Beth

Thanks, yellow--I am so sorry it is hard for you, too. Sending love and support to you!!

Perhaps a daily planner might help you get organized.

when do you see your pdoc again, you sound really depressed. do you have a therapist to talk to?

your planner can be useful for multiple areas of your life. documenting your temp or blood pressure if you take those. or even BMS or showers taken. any of your adls that you are doing

you could just right out your meds list and then use the planner to document that you took meds and what time.
I can't live with out my planner. My memory is so bad. I am having a hard time spelling. thank goodness for spell check!
hang in there.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m functioning at a low level as well. I’m not showering or brushing my hair/teeth. I hope you find a solution for yourself. I know it’s hard.

This is a good idea, bizi, thanks. I do not have a therapist right now as we cannot really afford that at the moment.

Your story kind of reminds me of mine. For years I cleaned my apartment well enough but I kept failing my inspections. It got to the point I was sure it was personal, and I've never been paranoid. Sure I had a little clutter but 5 minutes would have easily taken care of that. Not a reason to fail my inspection. There's along story here why I hadn't been on meds for a while but the important thing is on January 20 (I think it was a Thursday but don't quote me) I woke up feeling very different. When I went to bed the night before I felt like I had for years. When I got up in the middle of the night I felt the same way. I couldn't put my finger on what was different that morning. Then it hit me. That's how I used to feel before I started those meds. I felt very good and happy. I realized that in all the years I had been on the meds (8 years+?) I had only had a good belly laugh a handful of times. I've joked more than that in the short time I've been on this site.

Two weeks before, I moved my computer from my bedroom to my living room so I had to do some cleaning. When I stepped from the bedroom into the living room I realized my apartment was an absolute pig sty and I had already cleaned about 20% of it. The bathroom floor was disgusting. I hadn't crossdressed once in that time, which is like a cowboy not wearing a western shirt and hat for that long. I realized that the meds had finally gotten out of my system. I knew I hadn't had those highs and lows for years. That morning I realized that's right, I hadn't had any highs or lows. I was as flat as a dinner plate.

So it could very well be your meds.

I know this may not be financially available to you, but it would be worth looking into. Look up "Lifebook". Honestly I have felt overwhelmed doing the program, but I have found more hope that the future can change! I do feel overwhelmed, and I'm asking for support from others.

Honestly, a therapist can take you only so far. It's up to the individual experiencing the symptoms to see that there is a life worth living out there and to embrace that feeling. And to put the effort in.

You don't have to buy the program. Just take the 12 categories and plan your life,. Write down a vision and a strategy for each category. See what you believe in each category. If 12 is too many, then start with your emotions and see what you want to believe.

You have the power to change, mental illness is not a life sentence.

Thanks, puzzl. I will check it out.

“Start with your emotions and see what you want to believe”

This makes a lot of sense to me. Good post.

bpcyclist

Hugs and love

Good post puzz. I have mentioned before what a great and positive addition you are to this forum. Thanks for the information, and no less important, your kindness and generous spirit.