[Moose72]

The following is something I wrote when I was depressed. Oddly enough, I just don't see that I GET depressed that often. Maybe I just don't remember them? Can you have bipolar and not get depressed? Does this read like depression?

Feeling depressed when I'm not really used to it is weird. Its hard. I have the symptoms and my pdoc says I have it but like when I am manic, I just can't see it. Everything feels dark, but at the same time, I want to crawl into a small dark place and never come out. I am being lead by an invisible force/being. I am falling away, even as I see myself I can't stop. I wait for bad things to keep happening - its like I'm constantly dodging them. I can't hold still on top of it all. I yearn for music- angels singing, voices ringing. I seek the lithe tones and the fullness of souls yearning for help, yet cherishing every sob, every wave of pain. I fall into the darkened cold, cold skies and stay still, motionless. Quiet. Solitude.

[~Christina]

Depression ... it’s a tricky one for me. Ive had some last for months , but I think on average they are 4-5 weeks.

I think my cleaning and my absolute reasoning that I need to make my husband dinner, I’m not saying he can’t feed himself at all. But he would just eat Pbj , that’s often his lunch.

As you know my husband has very trying medical problems with breathing and neuropathy.

I also have 2 dogs that need cared for. Walks to the pasture , clean food and water bowls washed daily and they need brushed and given vitamins.

I still clean daily. One day I might do a bit less but I’m always cleaning something.

Having chronic pain also causes me to get up , I truly can’t stand laying in bed sometimes.

I love my living room furniture but the couch and love seat look fantastic but for me not comfortable to lay on, my recliner is pretty good , but again chronic pain , I find especially Fibro just doesn’t allow me to just stay in bed.

A hate soul sucking depression just like everyone. Right now I have a husband and 2 fur faces that depend upon on me...

I think everyone needs to find a reason to wake up and leave there bed whether it be for family , friends, pets etc

Once I’m on the other side of depression I honestly don’t remember much of it , which I think is a gift to us.

[Rick7892]

Moose, your writing looks to me like depression.

I think I am getting better seeing when I am depressed. But I often still don't recognize I am depressed, even though I do daily mood charting for symptoms.

For me, depression is sneaky. I live alone without pets, so I can sink into depression and not be told about it or be pulled out of it by others.

It is much easier for me to see when I am manic or anxious.

[Fuzzybear]

I also think depression can be sneaky. It reads like depression to me..

[Wander]

I agree, what you wrote sounds like the words of a depressed person. Is that how you feel now? It is possible to have Bipolar 1 and only get mania without any depressed phases, but that is rare. For me depression is a horrible blank, empty, dark place to exist in. The hopelessness and despair can be overwhelming and thoughts of self-harm come in at its worst. If what you wrote is how you are feeling now I would suggest you reach out to your T and/or pdoc soon. I hope you are ok. Keep posting.

[bshaffer836]

This is a very intriguing description of your depression. You are great at expressing yourself! Unfortunately, I can also relate to these feelings, and emotions. They tend to feel toxic to me, and others :/...

[Moose72]

One thing I didn't mention is when I"ve been catatonic and depressed. Just laying there staring blankly into space. That sucked.

[Fuzzybear]

This is very well written and descriptive of some of the most severe depressions.

I hope you’re feeling much better now

Much love

Originally Posted by Moose72

The following is something I wrote when I was depressed. Oddly enough, I just don't see that I GET depressed that often. Maybe I just don't remember them? Can you have bipolar and not get depressed? Does this read like depression?

Feeling depressed when I'm not really used to it is weird. Its hard. I have the symptoms and my pdoc says I have it but like when I am manic, I just can't see it. Everything feels dark, but at the same time, I want to crawl into a small dark place and never come out. I am being lead by an invisible force/being. I am falling away, even as I see myself I can't stop. I wait for bad things to keep happening - its like I'm constantly dodging them. I can't hold still on top of it all. I yearn for music- angels singing, voices ringing. I seek the lithe tones and the fullness of souls yearning for help, yet cherishing every sob, every wave of pain. I fall into the darkened cold, cold skies and stay still, motionless. Quiet. Solitude.