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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,410
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#21
Kind of related to some of the recent posts
“and I meant Every word that I said.... And I’m gonna keep on lovin you” Hugs and love to All __________________ |
fern46, Sunflower123, swimmingly, ~Christina
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fern46, ~Christina
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#22
What if I don't care if my addiction kills me? What if I kinda want it to?
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beauflow, bpcyclist, fern46, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, ~Christina
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
14 31.3k hugs
given |
#23
__________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
14 31.3k hugs
given |
#24
Spikes
__________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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Anonymous43918, bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,410
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#25
spikes
__________________ |
Anonymous43918, bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#26
It is completely natural to feel this way when you are struggling as you are. Just get through the next ten minutes and don't worry about anything else. It will get better. You just have to trudge through the mud first. You can do this!!!!!!!!
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Fuzzybear, Innerzone, swimmingly
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: Central Massachusetts USA
Posts: 1,585
4 3,398 hugs
given |
#27
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Anonymous43918, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,848
(SuperPoster!)
7 9,037 hugs
given |
#28
I got the results of my bloodtest part 2. My heboglobem or whatever it’s called is elevated. My mom googled it and it has something to do with rib something and iron. It supposedly is only a problem when it’s low. My doctor says it’s related to the T so he’s not concerned. I have health anxiety so I’m worried. I’m just mainly worried because in just 3 months I already have higher creatinine levels and now this. And I’m going to be on T for years.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
bpcyclist, swimmingly
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#29
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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swimmingly
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 72,063
(SuperPoster!)
14 54.1k hugs
given |
#30
Quote:
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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swimmingly, ~Christina
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Mountaindewed
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 3,021
9 1,869 hugs
given |
#31
Partial hospital intake is tomorrow at 1:30PM very nervous
__________________ |
beauflow, bpcyclist, fern46, Innerzone, Polibeth, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#32
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
swimmingly, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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falcon09, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#33
I only got two hours of sleep last night so I have a major headache.
Possible trigger:
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beauflow, bpcyclist, fern46, Innerzone, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,848
(SuperPoster!)
7 9,037 hugs
given |
#34
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
bpcyclist, swimmingly, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 4,300 hugs
given |
#35
I've been there and remember feeling the same. Just keep breathing and remind yourself you are doing what you can to take care of yourself. That is smart and brave. They are just people. They have seen and heard it all and they are there to help. Deep breaths.
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bpcyclist, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#36
Quote:
Btw, do you think your drug use has exacerbated your negative feelings? |
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bpcyclist, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,410
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#37
Quote:
__________________ |
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bpcyclist, Sunflower123, swimmingly, Wild Coyote
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bpcyclist, Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#38
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Sunflower123, swimmingly, ~Christina
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#39
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Sunflower123
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#40
Slept very restlessly again, but did sleep a bit overall, so, not too bad. Not restful, but, given my sleep history, I really cannot complain. I feel fine right now, but the pattern has been feeling pretty solid for about an hour and then, the bottom starts to fall out and I am in rough shape within two hours or so. So, maybe today will be better. I almost never lose hope for improvement, which does help me. They say it is faith, hope, and love, and that the greatest of these is,,, Well, you know. For me, personally, my version of that is not faith, but total and complete certainty, hope, and love. And I always have that, no matter how bad it gets.
I do really wonder if my overall, decades of mania in June and depression in Oct/Nov has just flipped. A I say, I got manic and psychotic in October of '19 and it only ended a few weeks ago. Now, this. So, Since OCtober, I have had about, I guess, maybe threeish weeks of pretty euthymic time. Not judging, but I wonder if this is just the new me. Time will tell. Really hopeful I can either write or ride the bike today. I will try again. It is all I can do. Wrote just a page yesterday and I could not have been less engaged or interested. So weird. But at least I ws gentle with myself and did not use all that old, negative self-talk that fueled my career for so long. So, that is good, I think. Did happen to find a show that, while really not at all very similar, is somewhat tangentially related to my novel story line. It is quite interesting to see how another writer approaches stories involving odd brain capabilities. Pretty cool show, actually. It is called Stitchers. I will feelly admit that 4.647% of the appeal is the staggering physical beauty and hilariousness of the quite socially bereft and off-putting lead, she ist just too funny, but, hey, I am just a single guy, so, you know... Love and hugs to everyone struggling. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
beauflow, Innerzone, Sunflower123, swimmingly, ~Christina
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