Bipolar check-in #48

since I left home, I’ve lost 8lbs. I’m not overweight but I’m definitely not in my ideal weight zone. I’m a lot closer now. I guess good comes from living in your car and barely eating. Haha.

Work was rough last night. The good news is I’m 100% capable of this job. It’s not the job that’s the problem, or the walking, it’s the massive size of the building and how I get turned around so easy and panic. I got lost yesterday and had a panic attack. I was so disoriented I didn’t even recognize the aisle signs. I didn’t handle it well, but when I finally found someone to help I went to our trainer and asked for help with some guides to get me to the break room and main entrance. Verbally I can’t follow directions, that whole “go north and take a left” crap just doesn’t register. It’s one of my biggest flaws. I make the joke it’s hilarious I have a masters degree in education no less and I can’t read a damn map or follow directions”. It’s more of a pitiful statement than a joke. Lol

I felt better after having a “cheat sheet” of where to find specific sets of stairs and a path I can follow everyday. It really helped. I’m not used to 10 hr shifts so that last bit drags along, but I get it done. This is day 3/4!!! I’ve walked 17mi in two days. I’m gonna be so fit. Lol

I’m just happy things are looking up for me. I have a job that doesn’t stress me out, I have a roof over my head, food to eat and time to take care of myself and see my new therapist and psychiatrist. Everything is OK right now; and I feel so good about it.

Seeing the psychiatrist today — let’s see how that goes.

Does anyone know how long it takes for side for effects to happen? Can they start to happen a few days after you start it or is it more of an immediate thing? I started my new dose of Geodon Friday morning and I’m wondering if what I’m feeling is side effects from that.

Its in your system so side effects could happen at any time. What side effects are you having?

Fatigue, sore throat, and loss of appetite.

Thanks guys. Alas, the work day did not improve, and I ended up crying a second round (over a different thing). Never cried there, then twice in a day. I rarely cry. Fortunately, I have a couple days off.

AND then I went and inadvertently re-injured a tendon(?) in my leg, which makes normal walking painful.

It was NOT a good day. But after work, someone was kind enough to bring some food and hang out with me. It was very comforting.

Today it's a trip to the Dr. (IRL, not virtual) and the pharmacy. It'll be a pain getting around, but then I'll be lying low the rest of the day.

Lots of hugs for everyone struggling.

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Whatever, yeah, I hate wearing masks too (but do, because it's not about me, like anti-maskers try to make it). It's especially hard at work because it is such a long stretch of time. It's like my face is stuck in a sauna, I already run hot and I don't do at all well with heat.

Wildflowerchild, sorry you have so many things happening at once. Taking them one at a time, you'll get through. You're a strong lady.

BeyondtheRainbow, I hope your mixed episode ends soon. They're so awful.

Thanks guys. Alas, the work day did not improve, and I ended up crying a second round (over a different thing). Never cried there, then twice in a day. I rarely cry. Fortunately, I have a couple days off.

AND then I went and inadvertently re-injured a tendon(?) in my leg, which makes normal walking painful.

It was NOT a good day. But after work, someone was kind enough to bring some food and hang out with me. It was very comforting.

Today it's a trip to the Dr. (IRL, not virtual) and the pharmacy. It'll be a pain getting around, but then I'll be lying low the rest of the day.

Lots of hugs for everyone struggling.

*******************

Whatever, yeah, I hate wearing masks too (but do, because it's not about me, like anti-maskers try to make it). It's especially hard at work because it is such a long stretch of time. It's like my face is stuck in a sauna, I already run hot and I don't do at all well with heat.

Wildflowerchild, sorry you have so many things happening at once. Taking them one at a time, you'll get through. You're a strong lady.

BeyondtheRainbow, I hope your mixed episode ends soon. They're so awful.

And you can't even heat the water on the stove?! Ugh!

I'm kinda of freaked out. My father died about 15 months ago. I hadn't seen him in 20 years before his stroke at the end. For about 2 months before he had the stroke I would hallucinate seeing him at this one particular place in town, wearing a specific shirt he used to wear all the time. The hallucinations stopped just about the time he had the stroke (it took a while for them to find us).

I posted recently about "Mark" who has been part of my family for 25 years and is now dying of lung cancer. And today I hallucinated Mark.

It's all part of my mixed episode and tonight's boost in AP will nearly certainly fix it but it was really frightening. Too much going on in my brain at once.

I'm kinda of freaked out. My father died about 15 months ago. I hadn't seen him in 20 years before his stroke at the end. For about 2 months before he had the stroke I would hallucinate seeing him at this one particular place in town, wearing a specific shirt he used to wear all the time. The hallucinations stopped just about the time he had the stroke (it took a while for them to find us).

I posted recently about "Mark" who has been part of my family for 25 years and is now dying of lung cancer. And today I hallucinated Mark.

It's all part of my mixed episode and tonight's boost in AP will nearly certainly fix it but it was really frightening. Too much going on in my brain at once.

No my stove works off Propane. I can heat a small bowl of water in a bowl in microwave

I am just grateful its not winter.

Still hanging in there. My NP started me on 150 mg of Wellbutrin plus I talk to my therapist on Thursday. That should help.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.