[Tryingtobehappy5]

Tell me to take my meds. I feel so good, little sleep, high sex drive and lots of alcohol and weed. But im not oblivious about what happens next. So far my pdoc gp and T have all tried to get me back on track and I see an addictions nurse next week. But nothing has helped, maybe someone here will say the right thing.

I dont want to lose my job, my kids or my H but cfs got involved after my last night in the drunk tank so im super terrified about what might happen if i get too drunk again and need help. Plus i missed work the next morning and i cant afford to have that happen again

Why cant i just do the right thing?!?!

[*Beth*]

------>take<------
------>your<------
------>meds<------
Be smart.

[Miss Laura]

I'm like you with meds I hate taking them and detest it. I've been off my meds about 5 months. Unlike you though I have nothing to lose as I'm single, no kids, no job etc.

I'm eventually going to start a med I think its next week on the 8th. I'm away to start the depot injection for Aririprazole.

Maybe you can look into alternative ways to help take the meds? Mines has to be this way as I can't keep going on and off my meds. I've decided to let my mental health team take the reins over my meds. This might be a good thing for me

[fern46]

You answered your own post. Take your meds. It all comes down to the value stream. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Valuable in their own right, but it is momentary and fleeting and each of those things also carries negative value so the net result is poor.

Your children, husband and job comparatively carry infinitely more value than a few feel good moments and thrills. You already know all of this. You need help from a dual diagnosis provider. Now do what it is you already know you need to do and go get that help. Do not tear your family apart. It is so hard to build that back and it is such an abuse of love. The damage to your children is lasting and detrimental. Just don't do it. Take your meds. Get clean. The feel good vibes can come from that path too.

[bpcyclist]

Done the whole deal. Lost everything. Here are some Eternal Truths. The sole purpose of addiction, evolutionarily, is to firm up the gene pool. To kill your body. It is efficient. Thankfully, your creator gave humans a say, a will. You have the option of a spiritual awakening, neurochemically resolving your limbic and pineal gland shortcoming. This is your decision to make. We will love you and help you, if you choose life. As will God. Put it in the bank. Many have walked this path before.

You have free will. Do you choose to live and love and help others and experience joy, or do you want to end up in a 37-degree creek, upside-down , in your car, like a 17 year-old kid I failed to save because it was too hard to keep his subclavian vein open. No blood pressure. Cold. Did my very best. I had talent. I cared deeply. He died. His shirt had a picture of a brain and the words, This Is Your Brain On Drugs, with the beer center and the bikini center or something. A child. Choices. Free will.

We kept that shirt in the trauma call room. Not because it was humorous. Because it reminded us of the gravity of the work God had charged us with doing.

Life is difficult. Make your decision and go do it.

Hugs and love#!!

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Thank you all! You gave me a lot to think about and I have decided I want to live. And I want to keep all the good things in my life too.

I am going to talk to my GP today and ask to go on the abilify injection and see if i can take all the rest of my meds in the morning. At the very least I would then be on an AP and if I can manage it the rest of my meds too.

I find I dont take my night meds often and especially when drinking but i am not sure i am ready to give up the alcohol just yet.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

Thank you all! You gave me a lot to think about and I have decided I want to live. And I want to keep all the good things in my life too.

I am going to talk to my GP today and ask to go on the abilify injection and see if i can take all the rest of my meds in the morning. At the very least I would then be on an AP and if I can manage it the rest of my meds too.

I find I dont take my night meds often and especially when drinking but i am not sure i am ready to give up the alcohol just yet.

Yay! Hooray!

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Well that was a bust. 500 a month for the injection so thats not happening and my other meds are 12hrs so i am supposed to take it twice a day although he said its still better if i take them all in the morning if i am not going to take them at night at all.

I feel completely discouraged. I dont know if i can do this now.

[MuddyBoots]

Can you go on the Abilify Maintena website and see if they offer any financial assistance you're eligible for? I did that with my risperdal consta shot and now I pay $20 for it instead of $200 or so. It was pretty easy too.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

Well that was a bust. 500 a month for the injection so thats not happening and my other meds are 12hrs so i am supposed to take it twice a day although he said its still better if i take them all in the morning if i am not going to take them at night at all.

I feel completely discouraged. I dont know if i can do this now.

Call the county mental health. Tell them you need help remembering to take meds. See what options there are. There must be some. There are. Please, please open your heart to maybe being temporarily inconvenienced so we can save your life and get you feeling better. I had trouble taking one of mine. I set it up at my pharmacy, Fred Meyer. I just told them I was severely mentally ill and needed help. They were sweet. Did not charge me. I went every day until I could manage on my own.

Do not stop this process of helping yourself!! It is a process. You will have to deal with humans. Be patient and humble and tell the truth and ask for help
Good humans will help you. Promise.

Hugs!!

[Crazy Hitch]

Ughhhh it sucks right now but your situation sounds fixable. One small step at a time! Don’t try do everything at once. But your meds are a must. Non negotiable.

Can you set alarm clocks on your mobile?

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Well another day so I have to convince myself once again to take meds. I did manage to take at least my morning ones yesterday but im not sure if i can do it again. I think i just took them so I would have something good to tell my gp when i talked to him yesterday after work.

I am going to check today with the pharmacy about if the injection would be covered by insurance. Its unlikely but worth the effort to be sure. I dont think abilify will help with the cost, i am in Canada and only found info for the US as usual.

Next week I talk to the addictions nurse, my T and my GP. Maybe i will do better then.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I am thinking about going to the hospital tonight. I have worst energy today. I feel like im vibrating and it's horrible. Plus im sick from not eating enough and drinking too much. I want to take sleeping pills but i doubt they will give me that. I have lots of seroquel but im not sure if i should just take it or if i should talk to the dr about it first. Im not technically prescribed it right now i just have lots from before.

[Miss Laura]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

I am thinking about going to the hospital tonight. I have worst energy today. I feel like im vibrating and it's horrible. Plus im sick from not eating enough and drinking too much. I want to take sleeping pills but i doubt they will give me that. I have lots of seroquel but im not sure if i should just take it or if i should talk to the dr about it first. Im not technically prescribed it right now i just have lots from before.

I think you should call someone is there a number you can call in re to a crisis?

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Yes I could probably find the crisis line number around here somewhere but i dont know how they could help me.

[Miss Laura]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

Yes I could probably find the crisis line number around here somewhere but i dont know how they could help me.

I'm unsure as I'm from Scotland. But I'm thinking of here calling that number would mean they talk things through with you and if needs be point you to someone or somewhere else. Maybe a clinic etc. Again I'm just guessing but there is no harm in calling right?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

I am thinking about going to the hospital tonight. I have worst energy today. I feel like im vibrating and it's horrible. Plus im sick from not eating enough and drinking too much. I want to take sleeping pills but i doubt they will give me that. I have lots of seroquel but im not sure if i should just take it or if i should talk to the dr about it first. Im not technically prescribed it right now i just have lots from before.

You need to call the pdoc right now.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I can go in tonight when my GP is at the hospital I dont want to see anyone else and i cant call my pdoc

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Considering calling the crisis line to get me through until tonight. I have taken my meds today and yesterday but thats not long enough for these to help.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Ok the plan is go for a walk with my friend then go to my dads farm for supper then go to the ER tonight to talk to my GP. The crisis worker was helpful just to talk through it and make a plan.

[*Beth*]

Good for you for reaching out to get the help you need. Going to the ER to talk with your GP sounds wise. No reason to spend the entire week-end suffering through this.

I think I know what you mean by "vibrating all over". It feels really bad.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

GP gave me ativan for tonight and an rx for zopiclone for tomorrow. He seems a little worried that this will keep escalating anyways but agreed no hospitalization yet. He did say that was a possibility in the near future if this gets any worse but im really not into that idea at all.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

GP gave me ativan for tonight and an rx for zopiclone for tomorrow. He seems a little worried that this will keep escalating anyways but agreed no hospitalization yet. He did say that was a possibility in the near future if this gets any worse but im really not into that idea at all.

I hope you find some peace.

[WildcatVet]

Been there, done that. Now I'm taking my meds religiously and happy that I have them. It's solved the majority of my symptoms. Why suffer when help is right there?
Try setting the alarm on your phone to remind you.
Take care, be safe.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Well ive taken my morning meds the last few days, no night ones though. I felt much better yesterday after the ativan gave me a good sleep. I went for a 10km run but that is unusual for me i usually run only 5. Took the zopiclone last night but still only slept 4hrs anyways. I will give it until wednesday and then ask for something else from the nurse if it hasnt worked.