[Fuzzybear]

How dare I be me? This is what people have told me, How Dare I?

I sometimes think of cancelling, too Just disappearing, you know?

[fern46]

I'd miss you if you were gone. It is those who dare to be their most genuine self that I resonate with the most. Sometimes I clash with those individuals, but hopefully they can sense the good hearted attempt to be myself and love others as they are. Keep doing you Fuzzy!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

I'd miss you if you were gone. It is those who dare to be their most genuine self that I resonate with the most. Sometimes I clash with those individuals, but hopefully they can sense the good hearted attempt to be myself and love others as they are. Keep doing you Fuzzy!

Thanks fern

What do I tell myself? That I do not need others to be ''impressed'' by me. I just deserve their respect.



I've trodden on a few snakes lately

Oops

(not anyone here)

[Skeezyks]

When I used to walk our dog (who passed away in July) during the evenings after dark I would fantasize about simply walking off into the darkness never to be seen or heard from again. I still have the fantasy...

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thanks fern

What do I tell myself? That I do not need others to be ''impressed'' by me. I just deserve their respect.



I've trodden on a few snakes lately

Oops

(not anyone here)

It is my belief we do not need or deserve anything. Respect yourself. Anything from others is just the icing on the cake.

You know I love you!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

It is my belief we do not need or deserve anything. Respect yourself. Anything from others is just the icing on the cake.

You know I love you!

Hey fern,
Could you elaborate on this? I agree that saying someone does not ''deserve'' therapy for example is a cognitive distortion. I do respect myself unless I've been very triggered by something (especially something mean including an introject) Then I am not always so ''rational''..

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

When I used to walk our dog (who passed away in July) during the evenings after dark I would fantasize about simply walking off into the darkness never to be seen or heard from again. I still have the fantasy...

Skeezyks

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Hey fern,
Could you elaborate on this? I agree that saying someone does not ''deserve'' therapy for example is a cognitive distortion. I do respect myself unless I've been very triggered by something (especially something mean including an introject) Then I am not always so ''rational''..

I mean that it is difficult to see the fullness of the cause and effect stream that drives the reality we live in. 'Deserving' does not always equate to outcomes. None of us deserve the mental and emotional challenges we face. They are a byproduct of a force we cannot fully understand.

We can say we have made mistakes and therefore we feel poor circumstances are resonant with our efforts. Or we can say we are good people who work hard and therefore the good that comes to us feels right, but to say what happens is deserved is misleading in my opinion because the system of life does not offer a clear effort in = reward out structure.

As for needing, we can look at ourselves as in need of something. Lack is a state that is real in many cases. I cannot deny that truth. However, it is also true to say we are whole and complete beings. It is true to say we are powerful and hold the means to shift our perspectives at any time to feel as though we need nothing.

Buddhists believe the pain and suffering of the world is due to our constant craving for things that are other than what we have in the moment. Our perpetual dissatisfaction if you will. We find something of enjoyment and we move onto the next thing we crave before we have fully enjoyed the first. We cling to what once brought joy and miss the opportunity to fully live in the moment. 'Need' isn't always need. It is often craving what we wish to be and clinging to what once was.

If you take the variables of deserving and need out of the equation, you dial the craving and clinging back. In theory, one would then experience less suffering.

Just some alternate ways to think about our lot in life. We experience some extreme hardships and tests upon our will and character. It helps me to see myself as whole and powerful at times. It helps when I can let go of chasing what I think I deserve and clinging to what I can't let go of. I can't always get there, but when I can it helps with balance and reduces my suffering, or what the Buddhists call Duhkha.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

I mean that it is difficult to see the fullness of the cause and effect stream that drives the reality we live in. 'Deserving' does not always equate to outcomes. None of us deserve the mental and emotional challenges we face. They are a byproduct of a force we cannot fully understand.

We can say we have made mistakes and therefore we feel poor circumstances are resonant with our efforts. Or we can say we are good people who work hard and therefore the good that comes to us feels right, but to say what happens is deserved is misleading in my opinion because the system of life does not offer a clear effort in = reward out structure.

As for needing, we can look at ourselves as in need of something. Lack is a state that is real in many cases. I cannot deny that truth. However, it is also true to say we are whole and complete beings. It is true to say we are powerful and hold the means to shift our perspectives at any time to feel as though we need nothing.

Buddhists believe the pain and suffering of the world is due to our constant craving for things that are other than what we have in the moment. Our perpetual dissatisfaction if you will. We find something of enjoyment and we move onto the next thing we crave before we have fully enjoyed the first. We cling to what once brought joy and miss the opportunity to fully live in the moment. 'Need' isn't always need. It is often craving what we wish to be and clinging to what once was.

If you take the variables of deserving and need out of the equation, you dial the craving and clinging back. In theory, one would then experience less suffering.

Just some alternate ways to think about our lot in life. We experience some extreme hardships and tests upon our will and character. It helps me to see myself as whole and powerful at times. It helps when I can let go of chasing what I think I deserve and clinging to what I can't let go of. I can't always get there, but when I can it helps with balance and reduces my suffering, or what the Buddhists call Duhkha.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I hadn't heard of Duhkha.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I hadn't heard of Duhkha.

It is a framework for understanding reality. There are many frameworks and things I agree with and disagree with in each. This article breaks it down a little if you're interested.

Four Noble Truths - Wikipedia

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

It is a framework for understanding reality. There are many frameworks and things I agree with and disagree with in each. This article breaks it down a little if you're interested.

Four Noble Truths - Wikipedia

Thanks fern

[Whero]

The darkness calls when all other lights are gone . Find hope in the dark first and then sheds some light.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

I'd miss you if you were gone. It is those who dare to be their most genuine self that I resonate with the most. Sometimes I clash with those individuals, but hopefully they can sense the good hearted attempt to be myself and love others as they are. Keep doing you Fuzzy!

I resonate most with those who dare to be their most genuine self too (often anyway)

[fern46]

How are you today Fuzzy? Thinking of you.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

How are you today Fuzzy? Thinking of you.

I'm good today

Thanks for checking in