Family Mental Illness

My therapist told me that it's not unusual for some members of a family to have depression while others have bipolar. For whatever reason, it does morph. There's definitely a truckload of depression/anxiety in my family. In fact, I cannot even think of a single family member who doesn't/didn't chronically experience one, the other, or both.

Same here. Not everyone on my dad's side of the family is bipolar, but all of the relatives on that side that I know well have some kind of mood disorder. My grandfather killed himself too, when my dad was a baby. I wanted to learn more about him after I got diagnosed, but unfortunately my grandmother took it to her grave. Even my dad didn't learn about the suicide until his twenties. It was kept quiet and was considered a very shameful thing. All I know about my grandfather is that he "was a manic depressive" and apparently did some crazy stuff and that he was hospitalized a few times and then finally managed to kill himself. There were several other cases in the family with similar stories, but I don't know any details. My grandmother was really afraid that her (grand)kids would inherit it, but thankfully she never knew that I have it.

Probably some people are so afraid of their kids "getting it" that they opt to keep silent about "that thing that happened to" so-and-so.

It's like the old idea about suicide. If you don't talk about it to someone who confesses feeling suicidal, you won't encourage it.

Keep it quiet and it will all go away.

Beth I agree with your thought about people afraid that their kids will "get it". My father treated me like I had a disease for about six years after I was diagnosed. Since his mother had bipolar, he pathetically blamed himself - his genes - for "giving" me bipolar.

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Originally Posted by wolftrap Beth I agree with your thought about people afraid that their kids will "get it". My father treated me like I had a disease for about six years after I was diagnosed. Since his mother had bipolar, he pathetically blamed himself - his genes - for "giving" me bipolar.

That's sad.

I am the only one, which perhaps explains why my family were so closed off to the idea that bipolar could actually be a real illness (they didn't believe it, still don't)

I have bipolar and it could have been triggered for many reasons. My estranged father had mental health issues but everyone put it down to him having an inferiority complex because his family were poor. And a physical disability from his time in the armed forces. He had a SAD lamp but I have a strong hunch, that it was not seasonal affective disorder as he loved his home town and the climate. It was untreated depression but he blamed it on physical health.
My mum was the opposite and was a spoilt forces brat. She is insane when it comes to cleaning the house. Has this set routine and spends an eternity doing some of it. She would scream her head off all the time but she always worked and her and my step dad took care of us. She never would smoke(nicotine) in the house. I do wish they did not drink like there was no tomorrow at one point. They were: do as we say, not as we do type of parents, when I was a teen. Not the greatest role models and I did have to wrestle with a lot of conflicting messages.
My grandmother on mum's side was an alcoholic. She was an intelligent women but always had unskilled jobs. I always thought it was her strict religious up bringing that made her the way she was. And she was a military wife and moved around a lot.
My grandfather was an orphan from a young age and he had a breakdown before/after leaving the armed forces. But he was fine. He was a workaholic but always had time for me.
When I had a bipolar meltdown at 18, my family had this debate, without me being made aware about where it must come from. They desperately wanted it to be heriditary so my life and up bringing would not come into question. But everyone on here will know that it is a combination of family genes AND a person's upbringing and life events (environment) that trigger a mental health breakdown.

I'm the only bipolar person in my family, too. I have a great great aunt who was hospitalized in her 40s and received ECT. She died right around the time my disease started to manifest, and it's not a thing that is talked about, so I don't know what her exact diagnosis was. I was never able to learn anything about my Dad's family, and while my Mom's family is full of heavy drinkers - and probably a few functional alcoholics - mental illness is just not discussed. In my 20s, I obsessed over where this illness - where I - came from, but I've found a sort of peace with never knowing.

I'm not able to be open with my family - or anyone beyond my immediate support circle - about my diagnosis or my experiences. I've always been quite private -- even posting here makes my heart pound.

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Originally Posted by NoodleBean ... I'm not able to be open with my family - or anyone beyond my immediate support circle - about my diagnosis or my experiences. I've always been quite private -- even posting here makes my heart pound.

I understand; I'm a very private person, too. But I will open up when my intuition tells me that I'm with a safe person/people in a safe environment.

I'm so glad you're posting here . I bet you'll be more comfortable soon. There's such a great, supportive group here.

I have never felt the strong desire to investigate my family tree. Obviously I was genetically predisposed to bipolar. It may help me to know if anyone on my dna father's side really did have a similar "affliction." It could also prove that having a tough environment, carried more weight in my instance than the genetic factor. I will always argue that even without the genetic predisposition, I would still have had a meltdown at some stage.

I am studying the etiology of bipolar. There are two causal variables: genetics and environmental. Very interestingly, the genetics are triggered by the environmental. Unless there is some environmental stressor, the genetics will not represent as bipolar. I'm doing this research because a) I love research and I was a research analyst in my 'former' life, and b) I'm trying to help my family understand me. So, those of us who don't know or understand our familial genetic tree, it doesn't really matter. If the stressor is there, the genetics will present. It doesn't really matter to our experience who had what in the past. The present defines us. I hope I am not being to dogmatic...just the research analyst in me....

Even though there are multiple factors at play, I still think family (genetic) history is important. Knowing that there are people in your lineage who were manic depressive provides important clues when you start presenting with your own symptoms. I find that it can help with the diagnosis, and it's something that Pdocs often ask. It's good to know that you may have this predisposition to bipolar because it tells you something about how environmental factors may affect you. I also find that knowing my genetics helps to accept that there's really something going on and I'm not just imagining it.

Environmental factors are often also passed on from generation to generation and they can result in part from genetic vulnerabilities. In families that are genetically prone to mental illness, there's a higher chance that some family members will develop that illness, which affects their children's environment, which affects the chance that those children will develop their own illness, which affects *their* children's environment, and so on. Of course, environmental factors can just be a result of bad luck, but more often than not, genetics and environment aren't all that easy to separate.

wolftrap and FluffyD, Your posts are intriguing...I agree with both of you. I have little doubt that my childhood environment triggered off my BD genetics. And I can't help but see the patterns in my family and consider them as relevant to my own diagnosis.

I like the following (perhaps bad!) analogy: wood has the latent capacity to become fire, but will not do so until a match is struck.

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Originally Posted by wolftrap I like the following (perhaps bad!) analogy: wood has the latent capacity to become fire, but will not do so until a match is struck.

That's a good one!

I think my mother was bipolar, probably rapid-cycling BP 2. I never knew which mother was going to meet me at the door when I got home from school. She'd go for long periods where she didn't get out of bed or do much of anything around the house; then she'd perk up and be all bright and happy. She also had a LOT of rage, and she was scary when she was angry. But of course no one talked about mental illness back then except in hushed tones, and then only about some other unfortunate soul (outside of the family, naturally).

However, my family is loaded with mental illness. Both my parents had drinking problems, as did several other relatives on both sides of the family. And the women in my family all had depression and anxiety, usually developing it in their 50s. My maternal grandmother even spent time in a "sanitarium" with a bout of severe depression, and no one was allowed to speak of that time, not even Nana herself! But I'm the only diagnosed bipolar in my family, and I was in my 50s when I got the label. I wonder sometimes what my forbears would have thought of my openness about my diagnosis--they probably would be utterly ashamed of me. But I'm not.