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#1
Dec 09, 2020, 09:06 AM
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I am fine with the diagnosis of bipolar, I won't contest this. I want to ask other members on the forum about disclosing to people about having bipolar.
When I was first in rehab years ago, I tried to run away from it and keep it a secret and not tell anyone and not talk about it. I have found that some people believe that bipolar is a personality flaw. I guess some people latch onto the "bi" part of bipolar and formulate their own, often incorrect, view or theory, without doing the reading or research to find out the myths and facts. I don't have any issues with moods now. I never had the rapid cycling or mixed states. I did at times, get slightly hyper back in childhood and teens but the under current of depression was hardest to conquer. I don't get symptoms now. So I find myself saying, if I have to, that I was in rehab for depression and alcohol dependency/misuse/addiction. If I join a group, do a course or anything in general , should I say from the off set I have bipolar or play it down until I am sure, with my default - it was alcohol and depression? Would my best bet be to say, that the reasons I was admitted to rehab, were to do with having a meltdown and clinical depression? I don't have to be a complete open book from the offset right? Last edited by Lunatyc; Dec 09, 2020 at 09:37 AM. |
 Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour, wolftrap
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#2
Dec 09, 2020, 09:37 AM
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Quote:
I think that other than the closest people in our lives (spouse, possible fiancé, maybe parent, and children) there is no need to volunteer health information to anyone, unless the illness is currently affecting your life to a degree where understanding/accommodations are necessary. In the case of an employer, a note from a doctor that you are unwell (need not even say how) can be suffient, if medical leave or accommodations are necessary. As for friends, I think it depends on if you can trust them or if devulging your health issues explains otherwise problematic behavior in the relationship. I often wonder why people divulge mental illness to some people when otherwise it is not a current struggle. Yes, I understand wanting to fight stigma and educate, but many don't go around telling people they have heart issues, diabetes, or an STD unless it is necessary. |
 *Beth*, wolftrap
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#3
Dec 09, 2020, 10:44 AM
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I agree with Soupe. In my experience, revealing it to anyone that is not family or close friend has resulted in adverse reactions of simply not knowing what to do with the information to outright hostility. Outside of my closest circle, I’ve learned not to divulge my condition unless absolutely necessary, such as a medical situation. Think of it like MS, cancer, or any other bodily health condition - you probably would’t volunteer the information unless you had to. It’s your business, not others. If the situation occurs where your BP affects others, you can choose to tell them or make up a plausible excuse. These are my experiences, I hope they help!
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| Soupe du jour
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#4
Dec 09, 2020, 10:52 AM
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I generally don't like to talk to anyone about it, except my therapist and my Pdocs. Most people don't really understand mental illness (although many think they do) and for me that makes talking about it more frustrating than rewarding. Talking about it usually causes people to come up with all sorts of platitudes, unhelpful suggestions, and ignorant comments, and that's the best case scenario. There's also the distinct possibility that people will think you're "crazy" and will have a strong negative reaction, as mentioned above.
However, if I do disclose it, I prefer to say I'm bipolar rather than telling half-truths. I find that if you just say you're depressed, people assume it's because of some circumstance that you can fix. They think it's just a matter of finding out what's making you unhappy and then changing or accepting that. They will hound you with their new-age articles and meditation videos. Saying you're bipolar makes it clearer (or at least it should) that it's a real illness and not something that can simply be fixed. But like I said, many people don't even understand that much, so in 99% of cases I keep it to myself. |
| Soupe du jour
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#5
Dec 09, 2020, 12:43 PM
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I usually disclose as little as possible. Some people are far too quick to wrongly judge mood disorders as ''personality flaws''.
  I also dislike the platitudes people tend to spout.  
__________________
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| Soupe du jour
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| *Beth*
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#6
Dec 09, 2020, 02:38 PM
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I have disclosed my mental illness to as very few people as possible - and most of those I regret. I envy people who can speak openly and comfortably about their mental illness to anyone they know. But I am definitely not one of those people.
__________________
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| Soupe du jour
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#7
Dec 09, 2020, 06:01 PM
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Once, the priest at my church (Anglican) was greeting people as they left after church. He noticed that I seemed to be a bit off so he asked me about it. I said I was having trouble with my bipolar and then immediately regretted it because he did what the choir director did which is to frown and say "Awww...." and give me this lost-puppy look. And in those situations, what are you supposed to do- give them a bipolar history lesson? I think not. I don't want your blatant pity. I just want to be accepted and loved no matter if I'm having a stable period, or especially if I am not feeling stable.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*, Soupe du jour
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#8
Dec 09, 2020, 06:55 PM
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Quote:
That is horrible.
__________________
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#9
Dec 10, 2020, 07:33 AM
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In a safe environment like group I think it helps. Other than that with coworkers or faieweather friends absolutely not. They will hold it against you.
Quote:
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
| *Beth*
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#10
Dec 10, 2020, 10:29 AM
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If by group you mean group therapy, then yeah, I would tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth since you’re trying to get help from them.
Other people, yeah, I only disclose if they are close and stick around and want explanations for symptoms they’ve seen or why I was in the hospital for a week.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
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