[mark27]

Hey guys.
Close person to my heart had bipolar and is on and off medications since 13 years old. Almost 10 years now. She smoked weed since that age as well, was alcoholic.
Currently she is off her meds for about a year and shes getting worse. I really hate to read that she started to drinl again, she hates herself, she hears voices. Overall its super bad abd depressing period for her. She tries to get appointment to get back on meds but wait line is long with her insurance. Do you guys have any experience with bipolar, what on earth can help her feel better, are there any new methods to treating it other than making person numb with meds? She really wants to die and piece of me would die as well if she ever took her life. I really dont want that ever to happen. Shes such a great person but so unfortunate to have this mental ilness.

[Yaowen]

Dear mark27,

I wish I knew what to say that would help. Unfortunately I only have a bit of abstract knowledge of bipolar. My only personal experience is with unipolar depression. The person close to your heart seems to be in an overwhelming situation. It must be incredibly stressful and distressing to you too. I can't even imagine. Hopefully those members here with personal experience of bipolar will see your post and respond to it with ideas that will be really, really helpful to you. I am so sorry that I do not know how to be helpful to you in this awful situation. I could be wrong, but I think one can call a crisis hotline on behalf of someone in trouble. Perhaps a crisis counselor would have good ideas. I don't know. Sure hope things improve!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[sarahsweets]

Drinking is a way to self medicate. Would she consider getting help for it?

[Open Eyes]

She should be seeing a therapist and perhaps the therapist can help her get a faster appointment with a psych doctor that can get her on a medication treatment plan. However she will need to stop using the alcohol as a crutch and she would benefit by going to AA meetings where she can meet others that can support her in not using alcohol and getting her life together and manageable again.

You can’t fix her. All you can do is be supportive while she makes efforts to fix herself.

[MickeyCheeky]

i am afraid that there isn't much else she can do. Meds are necessary to at least try to manage things at First. i also agree about seeing a therapist. Try to encourage her to see a doctor And Hopefully a therapist as Well. That is ALL You can do, really, so whatever Happens Please remember this: it is NOT Your fault. SEnding Many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @mark27, Your Family, Your FriEnds, Your FriEnd And ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[*Beth*]

Seeing someone we deeply care about self destruct is so terribly painful. All we can do is give support - and be a model of self-care.

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with BethRags

[BrokenByBipolar]

My husband has bipolar and this is the second manic episode he has had. The first one resulted in us separating, but he got diagnosed, went on meds, and we were good until just this past spring (10 years) until he had and is still in his second manic episode. From my experience with him, there is nothing really that anyone can do to change their mind. My husband believes nothing is wrong with him and he has suddenly seen the light, wants out of our marriage, and has rewritten the history of our marriage, turning it into something horrible when in reality we had a beautiful marriage and were best friends. My point is, there is really nothing more you can do other than maybe call her doctors and tell them about the situation.
It is wonderful that you say she WANTS to get back on meds. That means she realizes she has a problem. That is huge. If insurance is giving you a problem, what about going to the ER? Maybe she could be seen by a mental health professional and that could get the ball rolling.

[Que Sera Sera]

amoung the litany of my "sides" i am bp and i can only give a few suggestions of what NOT to do .... i can only say for me but they sure the heck set me off so might be good to try to avoid with her too just in case to be safe..
good gracious dont play devils advocate and get inti a spitting match debate against her when you see she is "flaring" up...
dont poo poo her "issues" and treat her like she is play acting to get attention
dont ignore her when she starts the dip down and leave her alone to sink even deeper & deeper
when shes heading up and starting in dont engage her and get her riled up and spinning even more into wild woman land
when its in a peaceful mello time .. dont take full advantage and make up for lost time catching up doing all the things that got shoved aside in the mayhem of the ups & lows.. ie whirlwind of get out and cram in entertainment activities, shopping, visiting, house chores, sex, sex, sex
in the calm dont rush in and talk preplans and this and thats for next week on into the future
dont over due the lavish of "sweety sweety, look how well you are doing" gifts and goodies and special treats and surprises
dont get all pouty and hissy with her and take it all like "here she goes again messing my life up" as if she does this on her own because she wants to kick it to you personally, when the peace comes back to mayhem again
dont take much of "un"her her to heart.. its a release of her madness shes got going on leashing out at like the demon in the omen.
dont think for a minute that whats wrong with her is any tiny bit your fault she is the way it is.
read a few articles, books, go on line, ask people in the know .. become involved & learn about what this is all about so you can get a better grip on the ins and outs and stratagey tips to help you, and help her, and help you help her..
dont get preachy, and pester and demand and treat her like shes a baby and doesnt know what to do, and when to do it , and when to take meds or not to if thats where shes at with her meds, if she injurs herself fine time to hands on meddle but otherwise gentle remind, timid hints, tender suggestions..
dont screw with her more playing mind games of any kind... hide stuff, pitch stuff, lie, cover up, make stories about nonexistant things up just to shake it up, because you can, because how can she question about any of it shes not in her right mind so cant argue its not how you act it out... just to have a little fun on her for a bit of pay back from you putting up with her
yea - its alot aint it... i know, i get it. but if you are gonna be with her, you need to be there for her and with her and do your part to help her deal with her.. for her sake, for your sake and for the sake of you 2 relationship

[Que Sera Sera]

ps

it doesnt need to be shoved in a hidy hole or tip toe around the elephsnt in the room but its not THE focus of every waking moment and blabbed so every one is "aware" of it just in case ..
and please please please hide her keys or disable her car or drive her yourself if it comes to that point ..
just please dont get her her purse, hand her the keys, open the door and wave her goodbye and watch her drive off in no state to be behind the wheel of a motor vehicle ok ... no. really .being dead serious with you on this one..
so right? so right. thank you