[Victoria'smom]

Well I spent the day sleeping to avoid being scattered, SHing and anxiety. I'm not understanding English right now. It just sounds like a bunch of sounds where I can pick out the individual word but can't make out the sentence but I'm responding properly. So that's good enough now. Still think my dogs going to die any second. I know this isn't "normal" problems. They have to leave tomorrow and I will be fully alone for at least an hour. I'm already hearing my name being called when everyone is sleeping. I still have two weeks before I meet my new T and two and a half weeks before seeing pdoc. I usually ease T's into my brand of crazy. Scheduling didn't even WANT to give me weekly appointments. So I have to convince her I'm safe for almost 2 weeks between our first meeting and our second. In general it takes months to get me to start letting down my guard. I'm worried I'll scare her off, my paranoia will scare me off, or not knowing me she'll recommend IP. How do I sugar coat this enough to get my point across but not alarm her? I am already worried she'll want to hospitalize me. I'm trying really hard to be safe because I don't want IP.

[Soupe du jour]

I hope your doggy remains OK. You definitely don't need any sadness from that adding to your current challenges.

I think it is very common to need a good amount of time to adjust to a new therapist and/or doctor. It has always taken time for me to. There were many cases when I'd quit a new one after the first session. I did eventually tell myself to hold off and give them at least a few chances. The latter was good because I often saw them differently after session 3 or 4. Plus, I know I, and others, need to develop a comfort in new relationships. Truly, the patient tdoc/pdoc relationship is such an intense one.

You can get through that one hour alone, Miguel'smom. You can. Maybe consider planning something for that hour? A special movie/TV show, bake something, write, draw, or something else that focuses your attention on something positive?

[Victoria'smom]

I am planning on drawing to keep my hand busy and me at the safety of the table

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I am planning on drawing to keep my hand busy and me at the safety of the table

Drawing sounds like a good idea! Stay safe!

[*Beth*]

I'm so sorry to hear about your thought that your dog is going to die. I get that with my cats when I'm delusional or whatever it is. It's the absolute worst feeling and thought.

As for the therapist...you know, if you're going to have an honest and trusting relationship with her you have to be honest and trustworthy. If I was in your position I would tell her exactly what my concerns are and go from there.

[Victoria'smom]

I was actually left alone for very long today just when they were sleeping. I went with them when they had to go out. It's going to be really hard to be honest with my new therapist. I don't even know how to word what's going on.

[Bipolarchic14]

Can you try to focus on just the present moment? So if your mind tries to go back in the past or go too far in the future rope it back in. I do hope your dog is ok and I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time.

[*Beth*]

Well, you know how it goes with T's...if you don't know what or how you're going to speak, they start talking with you and the next thing you know you have things to say.

[Moose72]

Your written English is just fine. I know writing and speaking are two separate things.