Questions Bipolar Version #8

I was the not so proud owner of a 68 New Yorker. In 1977. It was a faded metallic blue. But boy did it drive smooth and really plowed though those big drifts of snow between Wisconsin and Minnesota. The trunk was enormous and I kept spare clothes and vodka there. Had a ton of new car smell scents hanging in the car. The back seat was a wonderful living room. What I reluctantly accepted as my first car I came to treasure.

When did you leave your parents house for distant shores. .?

Other than going away to college, I'd say my first was to Taiwan at about 22 years old. I then, soon after returning to NJ, moved to CA with my first major love. I moved to Taiwan again, then returned and stayed in NJ, but not with my parents. I only really lived with them during summer and holiday vacations after 18. Maybe brief stays of a few months, or so, a couple times in my early to mid 20s. Loved them, but didn't want to live with them long. Neither did my siblings.

If you live with someone, do you still have a private space you maintain?

We have the luxury of two spare bedrooms. I know not everyone is in that position, though. I converted the small bedroom into MY SPACE. As far as I'm concerned, the rest of the house belongs to my partner & can run by her rules...she's a neat freak. In MY SPACE I have a big, broken down, old computer desk filled with clutter; I'm comfortable with the clutter. I also have a few pieces of abstract art on the walls that my partner just doesn't understand. If not for MY SPACE those pieces would be somewhere in the basement. It's nice to have one's own little corner of the world.

Describe your first true love, & how it made you feel discovering love for the first time...Perhaps too personal?

OK...I'm thinking that was a pretty personal question. Let's bump this & try:

You're taking an overnight trip into the wilderness. You can sleep in a motel, a trailer, a tent, or under the stars. Which would you pick, & why?

I'm going to go with a wooden Aframe. Which I know wasn't a choice but it goes with my answer. I was a counselor at a camp for kids with special needs when I was in college and we did our camp outs in Aframes. They were a compromise between tents and sleeping outside. The last year I was there I was manic and not sleeping and I spent a lot of nights at the edge of the Aframe looking at the stars and loving the beauty. In my dreams I'd say unprotected but I don't think I'm quite brave enough.

Have you ever filled a dumpster?

and that's my laugh for the day!

we don't have the word dumpster in england, and when ever I see it written somewhere, I just burst out laughing!. such a cool word

but no. I havon't

okay so:

longest you have gone without a shower/ bath

What an embarrassing question. When I'm morbidly depressed, personal hygiene is very low on my list of priorities. During those times when I just lay in bed for days, it's not been uncommon for me to go a week without a shower. Pretty nasty stuff...

What was/is the most difficult economic time you've ever been through? If things changed, how did you manage to get through that stretch?

There were five years between the time i stopped working and my private disability benefits came in and i got pretty poor. I ate at a lunch program. I went to the food bank. I was of-no-fixed-address for six weeks. In my six-month stay in Vancouver i spent over 90% of my income on rent and i'd do it again. I learned i could get food and clothing for free or cheap but no one is going to give you a place to live for same. I pawned everything and didn't even have a phone, not even a landline. I walked every where. I lost 60 pounds in six months. A superb lawyer finally got me private disability benefits and i rejoined the middle-class and never looked back. That was twenty years ago.

Do you attend ZOOM mental health events?

I’m not technically literate enough to know how to use zoom much less find groups on the internet. Heck chat is too fast for me.

Do you watch tv or stream?

I'm a huge YouTube documentary junkie (especially history & political science documentaries), & my partner & I generally watch something on Netflix at night. We do, however, still have DirectTV. It's gotten so expensive, though, & we use it primarily for news & sports. It might be time to get rid of it.

What's the best program or movie you've watched lately? Without plot spoilers, give a description.

Well it’s been a few months actually but I really enjoyed All Creatures Great and Small on PBS. It’s about a vet who graduated from a Scottish school and moves to rural England to take a job. There’s no sex, no real violence and no car chasing but it’s a good show. This one is a bit glossy compared to the 1970 version but it’s still British drama at it best.

Are you a homebody and relish the covid restrictions or do you long to get out?

I am defenetly finding these restrictions working to my advantage. being intriverted, I'm not sure I could ask for much more. I have no real plans once it's over either.

do you like seafood?

@Nammu, all creatures is a good show. sad though, especially when the animals have to be put down. I don't know if you've seen all of it, but the episode with the prize racehorse.. that was the one that affected me most.

Yes, very much so. My husband will eat some, but not all. That's disappointing since there are many dishes I'd love to regularly make that I don't because of his dislikes. The only seafood I am not always fond of is octopus, but it depends on how it's prepared. Growing up, my parents and paternal grandparents owned boats that they kept at a marina off of a bay in New Jersey. We caught and ate lots of local seafood there. My brother once lived on a sailboat in Hawaii. Different varieties were available there. Very fond memories!

Attached is a photo of beautiful Island Beach State Park in NJ (ocean side). On the other side of that sandy dune peninsula is the bay that we'd fish and clam in.

Have you ever been on a sailboat? Did you like it? Did you fish or clam, or similar?

Despite the fact I'm surrounded by many really great lakes (I just gave away my location!), I've never been on a sailboat. This is silly, but despite the great lakes we have, I can't bring myself to fish. I feel sorry for the fish when they're pulled out of the water. Watching a fish on land is similar to watching an animal or human drown...kind of a violent & sad end. I realize I'm just a hypocrite, though; I'll eat fish without reservation! I just let others do the killing for me.

Are there common sights in the world, or themes in the media that you have great difficulty watching or reading about? (I realize this might be a sensitive question for some, so I can always change it.)

Unfortunately a common sight in America is shootings. I’ve found that I turn deaf and blind to them because I can’t do anything about them and they disturb me greatly. I used to be active in calling for gun reform but as long as there’s the lobbying and dark money pushing a false narrative there will be no reforms. So I go silent.

Do you delight in the awesomeness of Mother Earth? 🌎

not really. can't say I do.

are you glad that the warmer weather is here?

Hmmmm...It should be a yes or no question, but I have mixed feelings. The grass has begun to green, the trees are budding, I noticed crocuses outside today, I can take the dog on longer walks...the list of positives goes on! HOWEVER, my pandemic weight ballooned even further over the winter. It's easy to hide fat under fleece jackets & sweats. I'm pretty self-conscious about how far I've let myself go. Summer clothes will make the weight gain obvious. Time to start doing something about it, huh?

Describe your favorite warm weather activity. Why does it give you such joy?

It's one that I won't be able to do where I am. Sit and watch hummingbirds. Of course we do have a lovely courtyard, and a terrace that will soon have a pergola on it. There will be birds, for sure, but not hummingbirds. There are no hummers in Europe.

What is your favorite flower?

Whooo tough questions! There’s so many. I’d say it’s a toss up between a peony and a cabbage rose. With the Minnesota state flower for show, the showy lady slipper.

Do you enjoy the great outdoors?

To be honest, I enjoyed the great outdoors more when I was younger. I'm no longer rugged enough for tent camping. The ground & my back don't get along anymore.

What is the best outdoor adventure you've ever enjoyed?

Whitewater rafting in Boise, Idaho. It was such a blast.

Did you enjoy going to school as a child/teen?

I absolutely loved school in 1st and 2nd grade. Then I got a witch ( rhyme s with the B word) for third grade and hated school. She hated me cause she was going on and on about America’s being first in everything and I spoke up. I had the encyclopedia to back me up. No we aren’t first in everything! She told my mum that I belonged in an institution. After that I still loved learning but school not so much. I no longer thought teachers knew everything.

When was your first experience that adults didn’t know everything?

While I'm not sure I can isolate a lone instance of an adult misleading me, I vividly remember being awakened to the fact that life isn't fair -- & adults are generally big on stressing "fairness." I went to a poor public school in Detroit from kindergarten to eighth grade; I received straight A's all the way through DPS. Because of my grades, I was given a full scholarship to a small private school in a wealthy suburb. I soon discovered that I lagged at least two years behind students who had attended lower & middle school at that academy. What a kick in the head that was! I really had to struggle just to stay afloat in high school. I'm grateful that I received a good education, but it greatly affected me where my anxiety & self-esteem were concerned. I know...Boo-Hoo...

Other than your mental illness (which is a HUGE hurdle), what is the greatest obstacle you've ever overcome?

Forgiving my abusers

If you are given the choice of unstoppable mood fluctuations versus a medication that is 100% guaranteed to work but will make you gain 50 lbs what will you choose?