Is it unpleasant for anyone to hear about my struggles to diet?

I don’t come around as often anymore because I’ve been sleeping for a change! I didn’t see your post but I think weight loss support is great. Encouraging each other is part of the process to lose weight. In my 20s I bought a program off TV called “the 6 week body makeover” and I followed it to a T. I lost over 100 pounds and they chose me to be on their infomercial 3 times! I flew to California and had the best experience! I kept the weight off for 7 years until I got married and my husband told me he would love me no matter my weight. I stoped caring about eating healthy... and slowly added all of the weight back. I’ve been fighting it ever since. The closest I got to losing it all was during my first manic episode a year ago. Then I hit a depression for 7 months. The first few months I barely ate. But then I started eating just so I could feel something. I ate snacks and sweets. It was the only thing that made me feel remotely happy. But I ended up gaining almost all of the weight back. Then I came out of the depression too quickly and hit another manic episode. At first I joined a gym, but now that the meds I’m on have brought me way back down to earth, it’s hard to find the motivation to get up and move. So I’m trying to get my mindset back to the 6 week body makeover where their message was, “eat more and exercise less”. You eat 6 times a day with a balance of protein and veggies or fruits. Hopefully I can get serious with it because my mood has always been affected by my weight even long before my diagnosis.

I wish you lots of success on your journey!!

I’m sorry you experienced all that on them!

I was actually doing pretty well on the combo but due to the weight gain I insisted I get off them and onto more weight friendly meds. Also, due to the invega I developed tardive dyskinesia. It went away when I got off it, I’m on other APs now that I haven’t had a problem with and a different mood stabilizer

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Alcohol sabatages my weight loss efforts.
I just need to quit and diet again. I know how to lose weight it s just doing it. I take the fewest of any meds for me 150mg lamictal, haldol 5mg 2xday.
one mg of klonipin to sleep. and I am hovering around 190 pounds.

sigh
bizi

@Blue_Bird and all:

Thanks for saying you like reading my posts! I often feel i'm writing into a great void so your compliment is really meaningful to me.

Congratulations on your spectacular 100 pound weight loss! That's fantastic! And you are keeping an eye on it and taking action when it starts to creep back on -- that's all sorts of good!

Just a little concerned that 115 to 120 sounds pretty low. It's up to you tho. You're 5'4" so you're an inch taller than me.

It depends on your age too. When i was in my twenties i was happy at 120. But now that i'm 54 my doctor says 170 would be a healthy, sustainable weight for me.

It sounds like a lot to me but he says i probably couldn't maintain a lower weight. So that's 80 pounds away (currently 250 -- blech!) so i still have my work cut out for me.

Hang in there,

Jane.

whatever2013, I really think that weight numbers are not always the best indicator of health or proper slimness. Even the BMI chart (ranges) are just slight guides. It has certainly become apparent to me that one person can look almost equally slim as another, same height, while being up to 20 lbs more/less. There are just so many factors at play. Bone mass, muscle mass, overall body shape, and how one's fat is distributed all play big parts. And I agree with you that one weight, at 18 or 22 years old, may not look as good on the same person when they are 40 or 50. I can say that if I was 135 lbs today, I think I'd be looking too thin, yet at 21 that weight was perfect for me. Ten years ago, I was feeling and looking pretty darned hot at 157 lbs, which is, by the way, at the top end of my normal BMI range (not even overweight). I am 5' 6.6" (169 cm), with a slightly bigger than average build, and residual ballet muscle tone. Throughout my life, I have mostly held most of my weight somewhat evenly throughout my body, perhaps more on the bottom in my youth. Now it's still mostly evenly distributed, but I have had more fat accumulate around my waist. At the same weight at 30 years old, I could easily wear high rise jeans and smaller belts. Now, only low or mid rise and longer belts.

Even pants and tops sizes are nothing to use as guides. Clothing companies have modified what "small" and "large" (and other sizes) are dramatically over the years, because of vanity sizing.

An interesting phenomena is perception of body, in terms of satisfaction/happiness of appearance. What to one (often oneself) seems too heavy is just perfect to another. Or what to one seems way too thin looks perfect to another.

I turn 27 next Friday. I am not sure what a healthy weight for me would be. Maybe that is a little low, I am recovering from an eating disorder so I tend to get obsessed with getting to a lower weight which is probably not good. Maybe 130lbs would be better

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Soupe du jour and all:

Thanks for the thoughtful and elucidative reply. This is one of the first times i have read the phrase 'vanity sizing.' I will Google it, it sounds intriguing. Thanks again for your time and care! I bet you look grand!

Have a beautiful day!

Jane.

Vanity sizing is one of many marketing/sales strategies used by the clothing industry. So was/is low-rise pants, though high-rise styles seemed to briefly make a comeback, though only briefly.
"Skinny" pants are also not always so very skinny, but it feels good if/when one fits into them, and more and more people do. Then there are distorted mirrors in fitting rooms. Point is, there is a lot of psychology involved in marketing and sales. Unfortunately, very often unhealthy psychological manipulation.

@Soupe du jour and all:

Funny how your tastes have changed over time. Glad to hear your blood pressure is fine. I have high blood pressure and i have to manage it with meds.

I'm still bordering on the high end of normal tho. It's a worry when i do strenuous things and my heart rate skyrockets. I have to pace myself. Unaluna is the same.

I'm worried because i have a lovely barrel chair and ottoman with fabric with cool script on it to put together and it's going to be taxing.

I had hired a young man to do it for me, but i have a phobia about having people in my home, so i cancelled and will at least TRY and tackle it on my own, being mindful of my heart rate and taking frequent breaks.

It's not heavy, so i'm hopeful i can do it. It's a lovely piece of furniture, have had my eye on it for a year. Finally decided to treat myself since i'm dieting at last and for this long. Will post a picture if i finally get the darn thing assembled.

I used to be a total salt monster, about 3000mg to 5000mg a day. Potato chips were my Achilles Heel. In Canada only 1500mg is recommended.

I've had some success getting off salt since i've been dieting these past five or six weeks. I think the more you eat salt, the more you crave it. Be cautious about developing a salt habit, like i had. It's insidious!

@Soupe du jour and all:

Ah, thanks, you saved me a Google!

Why am i not surprised to hear of this?

The whole thing is designed to oppress women so the rich can get richer and the poor can be made to get poorer. It's a strategy by the male-dominated capitalist elites, as is the whole dieting industry. If they've got us worrying about our weight, we won't notice our economic injustice.

Yes, i am dieting, but i am not spending any money on it. I refuse to be a pawn.

(End of socialist rant!)

@Blue_Bird and @Soupe du jour and all:

Wow, that's really interesting about the Invega being a weight-gainer! I've been on Risperdal for decades and they are similar. I'll ask my doctor about it when we talk tomorrow. I know it's not the Seroquel because i withdrew from that 90% with no decrease in appetite -- but a brief and minor but scary fear-psychosis.

It’s not difficult. I am sorry you are struggling. I am too for the record. On top of that I did some kind of weird test to determine that I have a small body frame which I did not know so my weight is actually supposed to be less than what I thought it was supposed to be so now I actually have more to lose than I thought I did if that makes sense. I am going to be starting on a liquid product that is a complete food source called Huel. I will report back to you in 6 months and tell you if it is helping me. It sounds wonderful and disgusting at the same time. I already ordered the product I’m just waiting for them to come.

I have had food and weight issues because of the med weight gain issue that a lot of people seem to have. When I was in treatment as a teenager I was gaining weight constantly from everything and it was never addressed or acknowledged. When I voiced my complaint about my weight gain everyone ignored me and dismissed my concerns. While they continued to add and increase more meds. That went on from 2006-2015. Finally I just had enough and at 236 pounds I got off the meds and I got down to 145 in a couple years. I maintained right around 155 for a couple years but then one of my medications got screwy in December 2019 and I went from 150 to 170. I’ve been right around 170-180 for 1.5 years. But since my transition a lot of my weight has turned into muscle so I don’t look fat I actually look kind of good at 170 but I do want to get back to 155 if not 140.

My old therapist thought I had a legit ED and I had to do all sorts of online tests and assessments and people said I was in denial. I almost got sent IP but got out of it because I was drinking water. I think they blew the issue way out of the water and I honestly think most of what I’m doing is just regular dieting and weight maintenance with a bit of disordered thinking. Since Noom it’s been better though. I don’t talk to my new T much about my weight or food. Although last time I asked her if I was fat. And she said “come on! No!” But I am hoping the whole “ED” thing doesn’t begin with her too.

I lost ten pounds! My first milestone. I've been dieting for seven weeks and only lost six pounds the first six weeks, at a rate of one pound a week, so i was pretty discouraged as it didn't seem enough for all the hunger i was suffering.

But i kept at it and stepped up my activity-level and i guess my metabolism FINALLY woke up BECAUSE I LOST FOUR (4) POUNDS THIS WEEK!!!!! I'm aware that a max of two pounds per week is recommended but at higher weights more is permitted. So i broke the 240-pound barrier!

I am 239.7!!!!!!!

Have a beautiful day!

Jane.

Congratulations on this great milestone, Jane! You've been mighty dedicated, and even after some minor setbacks you got right back to your task. I like that you seem to have some interim goals. I found setting interim goals the best since loftier ones can be intimidating, even if they are in the plan. Plus, it's nice to be able to feel good along the way. I hope you enjoy a non-food related treat tonight.

Depakote was my very first bipolar med and I gained 40+ pounds and then gained even more on zyprexa! I'm now on daily Seroquel and I know that's what's keeping me at this current weight. It's still 20 pounds less than what I was and 42 pounds less than my highest.

Depakote + Zyprexa was the worst combo I was on in terms of weight gain. It was impossible to lose weight on either, but combined was a nightmare!

!0 pound weight loss is fantastic!!!!!!!!
just think about 40 sticks of butter!
1 pound equals 4 sticks of butter.
good for you!
bizi

I need to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat! I think I'll cut off my head...

@buddha1too and @bizi and all:

Thanks for your support!

Buddha1too:

Yes, celebrating the interim goals is important. I phoned my best friend at 7:00am with the news, i was so bursting to tell someone! Another friend i told said, "We should celebrate!!!" right as soon as i told her. We haven't made any specific plans but she's a really special and thoughtful new friend so i think something is brewing!

And whatever you do, DO NOT CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!!!

I worry that your thoughts on weight loss are negative and polarized. Acceptance is the first step on the road to change and the journey is a lot easier if you lose weight out of LOVE for your body, not hatred and not because you think it's ugly.

I bought two mugs which say "PHAT" and then the definition of "Pretty Hot And Thick" to help make myself feel good at my current weight, as i know i cannot lose weigh out of self-hatred. I'm PHAT at the moment -- deal with it!!!

Which is not to say i haven't been where you are. I spent most of my life there thanks to a gymnastics coach i venerated when i was a young gymnast who screwed me over about food and i got anorexia. My parents were failing me so i latched onto this coach for dear life.

Before she got ahold of me i had a healthy indifference to food, even was a picky eater. But that gymnastics coach wanted us all to be skinny and had us do "food reports" each week.

I became competitive about seeing how little i could eat and ended up weighing 85 pounds and i was a serious athlete of 5'3" putting out thousands of calories a week in strenuous exercise.

Thanks, coach.

And her legacy lived on with a lifetime of disordered eating following. For the parents out there, be careful what messages coaches are giving impressionable young daughters because it will be with them for life!

Bizi:

That's a great metaphor, 40 sticks of butter! Just imagine the pile they would make! You're such a doll to support me so colorfully and consistently. I really appreciate your presence here, Bizi!!!

Hugs to all!

Jane.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and support, @whatever2013 (Jane). Your insights have helped me out in the past, & the previous post did, too.

I do hate my body in its current state. I was a very competitive athlete until I stopped playing baseball in my late-40s. I also think back to my high school days, when I was a three sport athlete who could wash down five peanut buter & jelly sandwiches with a gallon of whole milk & not gain a pound. I ate with impunity. Somewhere along the line, my metabolism changed. I still shower, but I try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror while undressed now because I'm so sickened!

As you know, I'm doing Weight Watchers again. In June 2019, I was down to 170 pounds! In June 2021 (as of yesterday's weigh in), I weigh 252! I really feel the difference. I felt so much more agile & got less winded at 170 than I do now, and since I turn 60 in a few weeks here, I can't afford to carry this extra weight. Somehow (though I know not how) I lost 3.8 pounds last week. That was without tracking, & making some pretty unhealthy food choices.

Oh, well. I guess change is a process. I'll keep working on it.

hi jane,
I am 7 pounds from my highest weight.
I am 195 right now. UGH!

I must do something about this.
Drinking alcohol is my downfall.

I had less then 2 beers after work at fat pats
and will try to limit it to that. and not
have hubby make me gin and tonics.
I have been having heart burn pretty

bad every night. truly lemonades,

sour beers I just can't drink those any more.

So I am crossing my fingers tonight

and will tell jeff my hubby that that is

what I want to do.
NO GIN AND TONICS!!!!!
Thanks for listening. and for sharing your story,
85 is really tiny.
I was manic about 10 years a go. And got down

to 122, I am 5 ' 7 "
thinking that I was going to try to get to 120.
5 years ago I was 135.
and I looked great bought smaller scrubs

felt great then I crashed after falling down

some brick stairs almost crushed the small

child that I had picked up. I turned to the side to protect her and broke my collar bone when I landed.....
anyway thanks jane for starting this thread.
bizi

It's not unpleasant for me, I have diet and weight issues also. I have a terrible metabolism. It seems like I look at food and gain weight

@bizi, those gin and tonics are dangerous! They were my choice of hard drink during my alcohol abuse days/years, and the reason for most of my blackouts. In fact, at my worst it truly was the hard stuff that made it extra bad. Vodka and whisky were also included a lot. Not that beer and wine can't become bad enough. I know they can.

I have observed here that there are several of us that were highly physically active in our youths. Buddha1too, BethRags, and I are just three I can easily list still around. Beth and I were ballet gals. I wonder if there was some link to bipolar disorder or not, when physical activity becomes intense. I remember dancing more hours per week than I can remember. Constantly. I remember at clubs dancing five or six hours, nonstop, with no fatigue. But then it ended suddenly at points, in between sometimes revving back up again. But it has now been years since my last exercise high spike. Like Buddha wrote, I am now so slowed, physically.