Bipolar check-in #56

I’d definitely like to know if there is a thread for folx that have been mis-diagnosed with the wrong mental illness?

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Originally Posted by Cocosurviving I’d definitely like to know if there is a thread for folx that have been mis-diagnosed with the wrong mental illness? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't know of a specific thread, but that's a good idea. I know there are plenty of people who feel misdiagnosed. I sometimes question my diagnosis.

I gave myself permission to sit and watch a Netflix movie right in the middle of the day yesterday. Wow, was that nice! After some household chores and some work for our book business I may just do the same thing today. I have the windows open right now, while there's some cool air, but the temperature today will be 108 so it'll be a/c and a fan full-blast. I'd love to sit in a cool movie theater and watch a movie this afternoon, but there's nothing playing that interests me. Godzilla vs. Kong - no thanks

I woke up this morning around 8. Then I went back to sleep until 9:30. I got 3 large unsweetened peach iced teas with 6 Splendas from Sonic. I drank them all pretty fast. In about half an hour. So then my stomach was a bit queasy but I’m thinking that I always feel like I’m going to throw up. So I burped thinking that would help because it often does. And I threw up on the floor and I told my mom and she was about to give me some paper towels when I said “hold on, I have to throw up some more.” And then I went into the bathroom and projectile vomited for about a minute. I haven’t thrown up since Thanksgiving 2018. So I feel ok now my stomach hurts a bit but everyone else is fine so it really was just the iced teas. But I don’t have the cast iron stomach that I used to have.

I actually felt like I had something wrong with my stomach yesterday but I thought it was just anxiety. Now I have this pain that goes from my upper right part of my stomach down to my lower right side. I don’t know. I felt it yesterday but ignored it. I just took a Pepcid.

Yes, Hubby and I are francophiles. It's hard not to be. Anyway, it's hard to know what the future holds.

I like cooking for people, so of course I'd cook something for you. I made a very yummy dinner tonight. Actually, a French recipe with rhubarb.

It's nicer today than lately. Warm and sunny. Some days it's only reached the high 50s F (14 to 17 C). Brr!

Last night I didn't get to sleep until after 3 am. At about 12:30 am, I realized that I forgot my evening meds. I took them then, otherwise I would not have slept. In cases where I miss them, I am not tired at all. I once told my old psychiatrist that it is part of Seroquel withdrawal, but he said it was more related to my bipolar illness. I still think otherwise.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour It's nicer today than lately. Warm and sunny. Some days it's only reached the high 50s F (14 to 17 C). Brr! Last night I didn't get to sleep until after 3 am. At about 12:30 am, I realized that I forgot my evening meds. I took them then, otherwise I would not have slept. In cases where I miss them, I am not tired at all. I once told my old psychiatrist that it is part of Seroquel withdrawal, but he said it was more related to my bipolar illness. I still think otherwise.

Oh, I have done that. Go to bed, unable to sleep for hours. And thinking all the while that something is wrong, why can't I fall asleep? Whoops! Forgot my meds!

It's almost impossible to know whether lack of ability to sleep is due to a med or not. I'm trying desperately to kick Seroquel; I'm on only 12.5mg. But if I don't take that little bit I won't fall asleep for hours, then my sleep is not really sleep...I'm aware of being asleep.

It didn’t get nice until today. It’s absolutely gorgeous today. My silence was just because I couldn’t think of anything to say.

Mum and I headed out to the cemetery today to see dad and his brothers. Two of them were in WWII my dad, navy and his younger brother army. Lots and lots of people at the cemetery. There’s a lot of vets out there and there was a service at 10:30am but mum didn’t want to go.

I’m sitting on the deck now, it’s soooo nice. Especially since the recent cold weather took care of the early bugs.

Hugs and healing vibes to everyone

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So good to see you

I'm glad your doing well ! I love hearing that.. I use to make those cookies. I suck at baking anything but those I could manage lol

That's wonderful that you have access to a treadmill..

Happy Early Birthday! Ohhhh Enjoy the treats and have a lovely day

Well, some good news -- the coworker that is jerky to me will be taking another job. I will not miss her. Oh, let me count the days...

Other than that, alright. I guess. I'm glad things are starting to get back to normal-ish, but it's like I haven't snapped out of the numbness, the ennui. Which is a little weird, because my life didn't change hugely much. Except for one month at the beginning, I've been working full time. So it's not really like I've been totally cooped up. Still, it's messed with my mind. Oh well.

Hugs for any who would like them.

I'm half way through a book I haven't read in years: Blood Lies by Daniel Kalla. I have several of his books including the one I bought maybe 3 weeks ago called Lost Immunity- his newest book. Blood Lies is from 2007 I think.

I wrote my pen pal an email today. By the time he eventually writes back what I wrote will all be old news.

I spent all of today alone with very little human contact other than facebook messaging a couple people, including N1. She's with her dad at a friend's cabin having a blast. I

Ooh! Tomorrow is bill day! Always work to do! Compared to my mom's bills I have it easy. She has a lot more money but she also has a lot more bills.

Anyway, I will read up tomorrow. I just skimmed quickly today. Sorry!

My friend Christine had a migraine since she wokep. She has no prescription for her migraines so she tried prescription xanax and hydrocodone (I think). Those probably won't kill a migraine at the source- she said she threw up most of the day too. Usually, for me, when I throw up with a migraine that takes the pain away and when that happens I get drowsy and am able to sleep the final bits of migraine away. I'm hoping that she wakes up tomorrow feelingnormal.I don't like being alone very much. I prefer human interaction. Even if that's just texting. I watched youtube for way too long today but I saw one guy I watch stay in one of the pricier hotels in Disney World- it's closest to the Magic Kingdom- and then I watched another suggested video of this OTHER family that I watch every day where they stayed at the same hotel the first guy did with almost the exact same view. They only got one room although there was an ajoining room that was closed to the family but that was OPEN to the first guy!

I woke up in a better mood today. I still have back pain, and now, shoulder pain. My brain is much clearer than yesterday, so I was able to focus on teaching my students. It's definitely much better than last night when I tried very hard to keep the conversation going. I also talked to some of my friends, laughing at some high school memories. That was nice.


I still feel sleepy now, but I managed to clean my cichlid's tank. I will take a nap and I'm going to push myself to do a little exercise when I wake up.


@buddha1too Thank you for your kind words. It is the rainy season here indeed. Almost 6 months like this, but it'll still be hot and muggy. I'm not sure if it's because of the weather or if it's just me.

My phone appointment with my medical doctor went very well. We made a plan. He will refer me to a psychiatrist who hopefully specializes in Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and can treat bipolar as well. The psychiatrist may have resources for therapy (psychologists, groups, etc.) or there is a slight chance that they do therapy as well.

This is Canada tho so despite our reputation for good health care it will take six months to a year to get a psychiatrist. Until then i will do counselling with my medical doctor every two weeks.

We've decided to finish the benzo taper which is on hold at 9mg Valium until my hypomanic insomnia fades when Spring passes and then do a cautious withdrawal from Risperdal, which may well be the cause of my excess weight.

He said my 6.2 pound weight loss over six weeks is ACTUALLY GOOD! I'm so transfixed by my diet when i was 41 where i lost SEVEN pounds the first week, in one single week, then three pounds the next, i don't actually feel i'm doing well, but at this rate i will lose 52 pounds a year so looking at it that way, it's an improvement.

Slow-and-steady wins the race, he said.

A sustainable diet is sensible, he said.

Apparently, i'm doing all the right things, just using my common sense, but it was nice to hear it confirmed by a doctor. I even made him laugh at one point, we both laughed really hard. It was a special moment.

So it's nice to have a plan of attack for the future and i feel more relaxed knowing i will be getting some help. Truth be told, i am pretty sure that after six months to a year of counselling with my medical doctor, i probably won't need to see a psychiatrist -- my medical doctor is THAT good!!!

Hugs to all,

Jane.

I appreciate your encouragement and support and I appreciate you. Thank you.

I couldn’t shake the depression yesterday initially so we skipped the pool party and the cookout. It was really too cold anyway. My daughter wanted to spend time outside so we got some food and some camp chairs and set up by the creek in the park in a secluded spot. We saw fish, all kinds of birds, chipmunks and squirrels. It was pleasant and calming. The great thing is that now I have a place to hide out with my Kindle when life becomes overwhelming. I’m going to make a point of going at least twice a week.

I had a great visit and a great time with my daughter. Usually, I’m bereft when she leaves but this time my heart is just full of memories and gratitude. Could be because I’ve got so much to do right now. It’s back to work on things for me including my brother’s health.

Still considering Florida.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 ... so we got some food and some camp chairs and set up by the creek in the park in a secluded spot. We saw fish, all kinds of birds, chipmunks and squirrels. It was pleasant and calming. The great thing is that now I have a place to hide out with my Kindle when life becomes overwhelming. I’m going to make a point of going at least twice a week. ...

That sounds divine! There's a creek not too far from my home and it is such a joy to be there, and to swim in it.

I'm so glad the time with your daughter has left you with wonderful memories.

Just got back from my injection appointment. The nurse said she will email my med provider and my therapist. I talk to my therapist tomorrow. The nurse said it's doubtful I'll be able to talk to my aprn this week because of the holiday and the fact that my call back day (when I'm allowed to call and make an appointment) is only in a week. Finished draft #1 of my s note last night. I didn't tell the nurse that. I was also told I should see a legit doc for the rashes on my arm. Probably poison ivy, but I'm extremely sensitive and need steroids for it every year although right now it's not that bad.

I'm really agitated so I guess it's time to take my sleepy time cocktail

I feel ok today. I only got one drink from Sonic and my mom told me to drink it slowly. But then I had a mango Pepsi zero and about 48oz of water and everything stayed down. I’m getting a bit nervous about Friday. But I’m trying not to panic. They said wear comfortable loose clothes and since it’s summer I can just wear baggy basketball shorts and a loose T shirt. But I have to figure out what to wear to my cousins baby shower. If I feel like getting out of the car that is. My mom said I may be able to change at my uncles house. So I’ll wear nice clothes to the shower and then go to my uncles and change back into my loose stuff. There’s also a line of shoes dropping Friday morning so I have to set my alarm while we are at the hotel and then order them and hopefully be able to go back to sleep. I don’t know how well I’ll sleep anyways. But today I’m nervous but it’s not a big deal.

It was for sure PMDD that was going on for the last week. I dropped 6 pounds overnight and I am not moody or crabby the way I had been. This was the first time in a long time that I could pinpoint that it was PMS and also the first time in a long time that I’ve had the physical symptoms as well as bad emotional ones. There’s really nothing I can do unless I want surgery. I just need to learn to manage things on my own.

It's another day over 100 degrees. I did get a walk in though, this morning. I feel a little less anxious when I walk. It a great concern of mine that there is no psych med that really treats severe anxiety. I've been meditating for 31 years and it helps, but it's no magic cure for anxiety. I have had glimpses of mindfulness, but honestly, "being in the moment" doesn't make much sense to me. How can we be in a moment without remembering the past and planning for the future? I think I'm missing the point, and I can't seem to grasp it.

It's hard to believe that it's June 1st!

So there was this quote “if you’re going to do the dishes then do the dishes”. The idea was to use your mental energy on doing what you’re actually doing. Many of us drift away rather than be more in the moment but some people focus on cleaning or whatever to the extent that it’s a welcome break.

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