Bipolar check-in #56

We need an lol button! What a fun story Beth

The surgery went fine. It was scheduled for 11:30. But I had to get a rapid Covid test. So I got there right before 9. Then the nurse came and said the surgeon was behind and the surgery was going to be delayed 1.5 hours. I was starving and already hooked up to my IV but I turned on the TV which really is a good distraction for me. Then the antheliolgist came in right around 1. He was funny. He said he was going to put some tube in my throat but not a breathing tube. Which I was glad about. Then the surgeon came and he said it would be pretty simple and fast. He marked on me with a marker with what he was going to do. Then I was brought back almost immediately. They didn’t give me the sedating stuff they did at my last surgery. So I was totally aware when they were getting me ready. Then the antheostlolgist came in and said “imagine yourself going on a nice vacation and I’ll try getting you there.” I was asleep in 10 seconds. I woke up an hour later in surgery recovery. The surgery was only about half an hour. The last surgery I was immediately aware when they woke me up and I could hear my surgeon talking to me. But this time a nurse woke me up and I was in some type of heating tent. I was in the hospital for another 1.5 hours and now I’m back at my hotel. I took a narcotic so I feel pretty loopy. I’m bleeding a bit and I’m trying not to worry about it. I hope I didn’t scare the people getting off the elevator because of how wobbly I was and with my medical bracelets on and blood on my shirt.

But right now the pain is ok. My follow up appointment is tele health next week and I can’t shower for 4 days. In 90 degree heat. But yeah it went fine and the hospital was nice. I had my own room and my mom was able to hang out there the whole time instead of in the waiting room.

I’m just super loopy right now.

I’ve been very busy for three days with appointments and business for mother and brother exclusively. I was fed up by today of being taken for granted and because my own stuff is piling up. Thank goodness my sister stopped by with a chicken pot pie and came in to check with me and let me vent. I also talked with my daughter. Both helped a lot. I decided that I can’t go to the beach but I can have a staycation next week and do something vacation like every day. I’m firm about that.

I’m going to meet my daughter half way next Saturday. That cheers me up.

National donut day huh? I guess it’s my duty to swing by Krispy Kreme tonight and grab a dozen glazed.

I hope everyone has a peaceful, easy weekend. Hugs to all!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed The surgery went fine. It was scheduled for 11:30. But I had to get a rapid Covid test. So I got there right before 9. Then the nurse came and said the surgeon was behind and the surgery was going to be delayed 1.5 hours. I was starving and already hooked up to my IV but I turned on the TV which really is a good distraction for me. Then the antheliolgist came in right around 1. He was funny. He said he was going to put some tube in my throat but not a breathing tube. Which I was glad about. Then the surgeon came and he said it would be pretty simple and fast. He marked on me with a marker with what he was going to do. Then I was brought back almost immediately. They didn’t give me the sedating stuff they did at my last surgery. So I was totally aware when they were getting me ready. Then the antheostlolgist came in and said “imagine yourself going on a nice vacation and I’ll try getting you there.” I was asleep in 10 seconds. I woke up an hour later in surgery recovery. The surgery was only about half an hour. The last surgery I was immediately aware when they woke me up and I could hear my surgeon talking to me. But this time a nurse woke me up and I was in some type of heating tent. I was in the hospital for another 1.5 hours and now I’m back at my hotel. I took a narcotic so I feel pretty loopy. I’m bleeding a bit and I’m trying not to worry about it. I hope I didn’t scare the people getting off the elevator because of how wobbly I was and with my medical bracelets on and blood on my shirt. But right now the pain is ok. My follow up appointment is tele health next week and I can’t shower for 4 days. In 90 degree heat. But yeah it went fine and the hospital was nice. I had my own room and my mom was able to hang out there the whole time instead of in the waiting room. I’m just super loopy right now.

That's wonderful, Md! Thanks for the update.

Appointment with my pdoc this afternoon. I explained to her that my anxiety is unbearable. She gave me some ideas of what to do with meds. Hopefully, the edge will be taken off this anxiety. I don't know what else I expected from her.


It looks like my therapist will be out all week. *sigh*

Besides that, it's just so hot. The nights are quite lovely, but these days are long and dreary.

I am almost done with my book. I stopped reading it so I could save the last bit to finish it tomorrow.

I'm picking up N3 tomorrow to go to the annual neighborhood garage sale! We go every year and start early to get a parking spot. This will be fun! They cancelled it last year so it will be extra special this year.

Well it's time for me to turn out my light. Getting up early to shower!

I'm getting ready for a big move across the country which means finding a new pdoc and therapist - sigh - which isn't fun because I have awesome ones now and I'm going to miss them.

[QUOTE=wildflowerchild25;7079983
It was absolutely torturous this time. I felt so panicked and trapped. I considered signing a 48 hour notice to leave AMA but convinced myself not to. I was overcome by rage at my abuser and really my whole life. But there’s been a fundamental shift. Whereas before I’ve taken it out on myself, I was so enraged that I just decided right there that none of the **** that happened to me was my fault so I’m not the one who deserves to be hurt here. No, I deserve to build up my life and be happy. The best revenge is living well, right?

I don’t have much of a plan at this point except joining the gym again and pouring all my rage into the machines. I feel that if I can get stronger physically I can get stronger mentally. I will feel safer in the world if I’m stronger and able to fight back if anyone ever comes at me again. I was weak and helpless before but I’m not going to be that way anymore. Once I’m a bit more fit I’m going to take a self defense class as well.

Anyway I am now taking lithium even though I didn’t want to. It hasn’t helped my mood in the slightest but it has tamped down on the self destructive urges so that’s a relief.

I hope everyone is doing ok.[/QUOTE]

I'm glad you are back and that you have a plan and a shift in your thinking about your abuser. I just wanted to tell you that I took a self-defense class in college and it really helped me. I should take another class sometime as I don't remember some of it. I left an impact on the teacher. He wore a padded suit and I managed to kick him in the one part of his leg that wasn't padded. I guess he had a sneaker print bruise for a while. He was the security guard at my college and he teased me about that until I graduated.

My anxiety is through the roof for no reason. I already take my night meds. I hope sleep will help.

I'm sorry things got so bad. I am really glad your safe

Hope the move goes smooth and you find a good new team

I struggled with a frozen shoulder for close to 2 years it finally thawed out and today?? Bam its back

I bought a new type of cleaner for my bathroom. Opened shower door and sprayed it like 3 times and Ack ! Right into a asthma attack Needed my rescue inhaler really no help, Nebulized no real help. I am hacking and wheezing bad and my lungs are just on fire . My oxygen level is hovering at 92-93 not great but okay. I so hope I am better with continuing nebulizing and normal Asthma meds. I do have Steroids for times like this but I'm going to hold if I can until morning.

Today has totally sucked

Hugs to all

I'm very up and down again lately. Something major is bothering me and I don't even want to try to sleep but I have to. I don't have the concentration to read much. I like being able to write down a few things around here, it looks like it's a caring community.
My youngest has so many problems, and I don't think I can be happy at all until he gets help.

That was a major issue at my old house in New Jersey, too. I was less angry about the nuts ending up in the flower boxes than the dirt they threw on our deck. Shameless creatures!

@Polibeth, all the best with your move! I fully understand the stress involved in starting over (finding new doc/therapist) but it can sometimes even turn out to be positive. I adored my American psychiatrist, but was fortunate to find a very good one in Czech Republic. My therapist situation? Still working on it. I will eventually find a better match. You will, too.

I hope your asthma and shoulder discomfort have both eased by now. Though I don't have asthma, I am also sensitive to chemicals. I can't even wear perfume.

I hid Easter eggs with candy in them late at night in the yard for my son. By the time we woke up the squirrels had chewed through two of the eggs and stolen the candy!!! They also ate the Christmas candy my aunt sent us. And put a slice of pizza in our mailbox.

Wait- what?? Squirrels put a slice of pizza in your mailbox??

I note you're fairly new to the boards. Welcome, @Kelly68! I Hope you can get to the bottom of the problems that are bothering you, and that your son gets the help he needs. Keep posting.

Kelly68.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom My anxiety is through the roof for no reason. I already take my night meds. I hope sleep will help.

Join the club. I'm so sorry, Mm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina I struggled with a frozen shoulder for close to 2 years it finally thawed out and today?? Bam its back I bought a new type of cleaner for my bathroom. Opened shower door and sprayed it like 3 times and Ack ! Right into a asthma attack Needed my rescue inhaler really no help, Nebulized no real help. I am hacking and wheezing bad and my lungs are just on fire . My oxygen level is hovering at 92-93 not great but okay. I so hope I am better with continuing nebulizing and normal Asthma meds. I do have Steroids for times like this but I'm going to hold if I can until morning. Today has totally sucked Hugs to all

~~~~~~~~~~

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly68 I'm very up and down again lately. Something major is bothering me and I don't even want to try to sleep but I have to. I don't have the concentration to read much. I like being able to write down a few things around here, it looks like it's a caring community. My youngest has so many problems, and I don't think I can be happy at all until he gets help.

Welcome, Kelly

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I hid Easter eggs with candy in them late at night in the yard for my son. By the time we woke up the squirrels had chewed through two of the eggs and stolen the candy!!! They also ate the Christmas candy my aunt sent us. And put a slice of pizza in our mailbox.

Oh, no!!! That's pretty hilarious stuff! Those little critters are awfully clever.

I’m sorry your frozen shoulder is back. That has to be disheartening. Can anything be done about it? How is your breathing now? That sounds like a scary situation. I hope today is better for you. I’m sending hugs and healing vibes.