Bipolar check-in #56

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I may have done something dumb. As in, I stopped the evening zyprexa a couple of days ago and didn’t take my morning dose today. I am just so worried about gaining all the weight + more possibly. But today I am on the down side and anxiety ridden. I can’t tell if I’m freaking myself out or if I am genuinely on the way to paranoia again. And I don’t want to go back there. So I guess I’m going to just have to take it until I meet with my pdoc in the program on Tuesday and get them to take me off. I don’t want to take the chance of being stuck in my room under my weighted blanket because I’m too scared to leave. I should get a pedicure too, just with clear polish because I hate the upkeep. But at the same time I always feel kinda guilty. Like I don’t deserve the pleasure at the obvious expense of someone else’s comfort. I might do it though. I dunno.

Please take your Zyprexa until Tuesday. You won't gain weight in those few days. I wonder if you can get your pdoc to prescribe an older AP? The newer ones all cause weight gain. I've been very pleased with Trilafon (perphenazine).


I know what you mean about getting a pedi. I always feel bad for the tech doing the work. But I'm very friendly to them and I'm sure to tip really well.

Someone shoulda been here to make a tik tok of my 93 yr old mum and me with the broken back changing out the window for the screen in the door. Would have made for a funny grab. It’s maybe a 5 minute task for an able bodied person took us 45 minutes plus I broke my thumb nail. It’s just a matter of taking out 6 small screws and these tiny plastic pieces and lifting out the window and putting the screen in and replacing the plastic piece and screwing the screws back in. But standing is hard for me. And standing and reaching and screwing at the same time is a feat. Lol.

Made mum a $15 dollar sandwich with the New York salted rye. That went much better than the door did.

Sat outside in the sun and got rained on! Yes it rained while the sun was out. It wasn’t much and I just waited till it was over to open my book. There’s thunderstorms to the east of us but no real rain here.

So all in all a successful day. Tonight is PBS night, so gonna relax

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Originally Posted by Nammu Someone shoulda been here to make a tik tok of my 93 yr old mum and me with the broken back changing out the window for the screen in the door. Would have made for a funny grab. It’s maybe a 5 minute task for an able bodied person took us 45 minutes plus I broke my thumb nail. It’s just a matter of taking out 6 small screws and these tiny plastic pieces and lifting out the window and putting the screen in and replacing the plastic piece and screwing the screws back in. But standing is hard for me. And standing and reaching and screwing at the same time is a feat. Lol. Made mum a $15 dollar sandwich with the New York salted rye. That went much better than the door did. Sat outside in the sun and got rained on! Yes it rained while the sun was out. It wasn’t much and I just waited till it was over to open my book. There’s thunderstorms to the east of us but no real rain here. So all in all a successful day. Tonight is PBS night, so gonna relax

Congrats on getting the job done! It doesn't sound at all easy to me.

Sun/rain - did you get a rainbow?

Oh, I didn’t think to look for a rainbow 🌈

Tonight is the first Saturday in months I have not had S thoughts or SI. I just am slightly down but I think I’m just very tired. I just took a regular 9 milligram dose of melatonin which I’ve been taking nightly since last Saturday. Last Saturday was 30 milligrams. I knew moving would literally save my life and I was concerned and feeling unsafe with myself. Now I feel different.

I'm glad you're so much more at peace.

Ok I’m hoping this works.

Here’s a pic of my puppy Gus. He’s almost 6 months old now. He is hilarious. I love him so much .



He now weights 8 lbs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It worked! He’s adorable 🥰

OMG! I can tell by the look on his face that he's a blast to have around. How lovely to witness the joie de vivre of the innocent youth!

Ouch! Any tip of the finger or nail-related injury tends to hurt more than many other types.

I could really go for a delicious NYC style sandwich on rye. Can you send me one? They don't have corned beef where I am. All the other ingredients, though. I'm not as much a fan of pastrami. Not even sure that's easy to find in Czech Republic. At least they have P&P loaf here, a deli meat that used to be commonplace in NJ, but disappeared in recent years. NJ still has olive loaf, but even that's not the same as in the past. P&P was always my preferred.

I quit my somewhat new Czech therapist. I think it is for the best. Hubby and I will look for someone new for me once I finally get set up with public insurance. It shouldn't be that long. I will, of course, still be meeting with my new Czech psychiatrist. I feel good with him, so far, and a psychiatrist is obviously crucial. As my American psychiatrist has asked me to "check in" with him, now and then, I might find his continuing support a bit supplemental.

This Tuesday we will have a handyman family friend stay with us a couple or few days. He's the same guy that stayed with us when we first moved in, but will come without his helper. He did many house prep/update tasks. We don't have as many this time, but still things my husband and I would struggle with too much. One task will be putting a video cam on our roof. We live right on a dangerous curve. We originally looked into getting a mirror put up, but that proved to be a bureaucratic nightmare. Even our landlady couldn't manage. With the video cam, we should hopefully be able to see the coming traffic on our cell phones. It's really crazy. Just a bit below and above us on the road there is a 30 kmh (18.5 mph) speed limit, but where we are they hiked it up to 50 kmh (31 mph), and of course cars often go much faster. The former occupant (our landlord's husband) once accidentally hit a young man on a motorcycle because of this issue. The young guy didn't get killed, but was hurt. Obviously the landlord's hubby was upset telling the story. They come out of nowhere.

I slept from 10:00pm to 4:00am today, so six hours, not bad. I didn't nap yesterday. I also ate very lightly as i was so aroused by my TV show i was too excited for thoughts of food to bother me. There's a new series i might check out today about an agoraphobic who witnesses a murder in the building opposite thru the windows. Might have some stuff about mental illness in it, which would be interesting.

I missed my one close neighbor yesterday morning because she was running-late due to allergies and of course, i was running-early due to hypomania. My dog and i were out for dawn at 6:00am and gave up waiting at 7:30am. My neighbor is not very good about her phone and i much prefer texting to calling but i guess if i really want to reach someone i'll have to use their contact-method-of-choice, hers being phone.

I just find phone calls so intrusive and anxiety-provoking, from my past family violence involving a traditional hunk-of-metal-and-plastic phone which was used as a weapon once. My mom was squirrelly about the phone too ever after.

She tried to gaslight me (she had problems) over the phone once and claimed my uncle sexually harassed her over the phone. She was a functional alcoholic so who knows how much of it was accidentally-on-purpose, because i don't believe she was truly malicious. Her alcoholic mind just ran away with her, i guess, is what i tell myself.

It's easier now that i have my iPhone and it doesn't resemble that old-style phone but it's still stressful. My friend is older tho and resists carrying around her cell phone and responding to texts promptly. Well, i guess there's no changing her, at her age.

@Soupe du jour:

Hey, that's a really clever solution to your dangerous blind-spot on the road near your new home. Aint technology grand?

@~Christina:

Gus is cute cute cute! Is he a rascal?

Hugs to all!

Oh my god Christina your puppy is SO cute!!! I’m not a dog person but I can still admit the cuteness!

I’d be willing to try an older AP but haldol gave me a pronounced jaw spasm and also raised my prolactin. But I was more worried about the jaw spasm because the last thing I need is TD on top of everything else. I can’t take cogentin because as I recall it gave me blurry vision. Although that could have been the lamictal. That changed my vision also but it was easily corrected by stronger glasses. I dunno, I’m willing to try anything honestly that won’t cause significant weight gain/high prolactin.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I sat in the sun for a good part of the day with the new James Patterson book and some watermelon sangria. We celebrated mom’s 86th birthday by going out to an Italian restaurant with great lasagna and spumonti. My brother is still recovering from his fall but was able to go with a walker and my support.

My daughter may or may not be able to go to Florida but mom and I have decided we’re going regardless. Thelma and Louise on the move. I have so much to do to get ready.

I have so much going on right now that sometimes I feel like my life is spinning out of control. I don’t like that so I’ve started what I call Project Serenity to simplify my life. I’m being decisive about what remains and what goes. We’ll see how it works out.

Hugs to all.

He’s precious! I’m so glad he brings you happiness.

He is SO cute!! Great picture, too! Give him a kiss from me.

I’m doing ok today. I’m kind of dizzy and lightheaded with this vertigo type thing I’ve been getting lately. My mom told me to lie on my back with my head hanging off the bed because it would help the vertigo. It immediately caused nausea and I almost threw up and I burped a ton of times. I took a zofran and used my vertigo oil. I thought maybe I had caffeine withdrawal but the coffee I had today didn’t help. I went a couple times for routine blood work a few weeks ago and the first time it showed my bad cholesterol (I didn’t even know it was bad) was even worse than before. So my doctor told me to avoid a lot of stuff. I don’t know if bad cholesterol can cause you to feel sick and stuff. Then the blood work I had after that for my kidney doctor showed low vitamin D. So he wants me be taking vitamin D twice a day and my mom wants me to take iron as well. She said it doesn’t hurt to take that. But I’ve been kinda sucky at remembering to take my vitamins. I don’t know if low vitamin D can also cause the stuff I’m having. Right now I feel better after eating some vegetables and ranch dip and using my vertigo oil again. My mom is at the store and got me 4 cases of caffeine free diet Mountain Dew. That’s a pretty rare soda. I think they may not make it anymore. Which is why I’m getting it even though I’m trying to cut back on soda. I know they don’t make the regular caffeine free anymore. I thought I wasn’t going to find it at all anymore since the one grocery store I saw it at on Thursday only had one case and by Friday morning when I went back for it it was gone. So I’m glad I found the 4 cases.

I’ve been having this odd issue that I was only comfortable telling my therapist. She wanted me to tell my primary but I chickened out at my appointment. Now I think it’s become a bigger issue. Hopefully I can find a gynecologist here who works with trans people. My other one was weird.

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Originally Posted by ~Christina Ok I’m hoping this works. Here’s a pic of my puppy Gus. He’s almost 6 months old now. He is hilarious. I love him so much . He now weights 8 lbs.

Haha, he's adorable! Looks like a real firecracker of energy! Thanks, Christina

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ...

Hey Md, I've been having some miserable vertigo and yesterday I read about the crystals in our inner ear that can dislodge and cause vertigo. In fact, that's usually the cause of vertigo. You may want to read about it online.