Bipolar check-in #56

Was a nice party. Just 5 girls. My daughter had two inflatable pools and a unicorn that sprays water out of his horn. The girls all had swim suits on for the time outside with the mermaid. They ran though the water and listened to the mermaids stories and got crowns to wear. Then they changed back into their dresses and came indoors for cake and the opening of gifts 🎁. My granddaughter hugged my mum out of all the people there for her gift. That was so cute, totally adorable and spontaneous. I think it made mum’s day. For the finish there was a mermaid piñata, for that my grandson joined! 😃

Very cool, Nammu! What a wonderful day for everyone.

Yes it was nice, the weather cooperated. It rained about 30 minutes before the party then the sun came out. It was in the 70’s so not too hot! Nice 😊

My ex boyfriend said I seemed blunted or subdued the last two days and he blames the Wellbutrin. I said first of all I’m intense so if I’m subdued , good! Second of all I doubt it’s the antidepressant , I think it’s the seroquel or lamictal , however he did notice it the first and second days I took the Wellbutrin. He’s against antidepressants because he had a bad experience with Prozac.
Also last night I didn’t take seroquel to sleep and I did have racing thoughts around 4 in the morning so I’m definitely taking it tonight .

Warning: maybe TMI for everybody- especially the guys.

For several days now I've had very painful, sensitive nipples. Feels like when a baby can't latch correctly. Tonight, they ached like they were full and I expressed some colostrum on both sides! That shouldn't happen! So now I will have to call my primary doctor about this and see if she wants me to also see my gyn. I don't think I need a pregnancy test because I had my tubes blocked AND have a Mirena IUD which is supposed to keep periods away- haven't had one in about 5 years! This IUD (Mirena) is at the end of its life at 5 1/2 years old. Anybody had this happen? I know that Risperdal caused my breasts to ache like letdown though there was no discharge at that time. I breastfed all 3 N's for a total of about 5 years within about as much time.

Any thoughts/ideas? I'm going to call my primary doctor in the morning.

Getting ready to take a trip to see my family in Indiana.
Am a bit anxious about this. For three days I will be

staying at my folks house in northern IN.
I asked mom what she wanted me to do to help with

the yard. She wants me to weed the area in front

of the bay window in the living room and the bricks

in the front of the house, it is actually the back of
the house. It is an old farm house. Mom has many
garden beds to tend to and she loves working in
the yard and cooking, she is a great cook.
My sisters live in the state and help out going up
monthly to help with chores. They are a big help.
I feel bad that I can't help out living 1000 miles a way.
I have extra klonipin to take if I need it.
We have 7 nights booked into a hotel. Everything

is so expensive, renting a car, air flight, hotels.
This will be the last time that we will fly because

of my e-credit from a canceled trip due to covid.
That is until we take a big trip overseas to
celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.
anyway,I have not seen my folks in a year
because they canceled christmas last year,
due to covid fears. They are in their 80's so I get that.
It will be good to see my sisters and Brother-in-law too.
I will be traveling with jeff so that is good. I hate traveling alone.

Thanks for the support.
bizi

Have a good and safe trip Bizi

I definitely relate and agree that it can be good to calm down intensity, a bit. Most all of my life I was high octane. Though it had its advantages, it also had major detriments.

Bizi, I hope you have a lovely visit with your mom. Weeding is actually a rather pleasant chore, in my view. That's exciting that you will soon reach 25 years with your spouse. Where do you plan to go for that occasion? If you don't mind me asking. I remember you writing that you visited some of my neck of the woods in the past.

Moose, I get such soreness at times during the month. I hope it's just a temporary hormonal issue. That will be good to have it looked into, though, if it's persisting.

I didn't have Mirena, but had a copper IUD in the past. It did affect my monthly, making it unreliable and very heavy. I ended up with iron deficiency. In the end, it didn't work out.

Wilchildflower, I do hope your longer vacation will be restorative. It's been a stressful year. Maybe you can just plan "kicking back and relaxing" into every day there.

Nammu, I'm glad you enjoyed your party. The pinata mention brought back a nice memory of how much my sister loved hers, as a kid.

Buddha1too, I hope your mood stabilizes soon. It's been a while since you've not been yourself. I hope with your recent situational stressors over with that you find more joy.

BethRags, I hope you get the apartment switch. Perhaps the extra $100 would be more than worth it. At least it is in the same neighborhood. Moves can be good for the soul, so to speak. I'm glad the extra perphanazine is helping. Stay cool!

Mountaindewed, I hope your stomach feels better. Sorry your new therapist doesn't seem to be working out. I know how tough it is to find a good fit. My most recent one wasn't.

Sapien, did you give your meds to your mom? You're far from alone in having to do so. Many years back my husband kept mine in our safe. I still don't know the combination. I think his friend does, but my meds have long since been out of it. I hope your art progress is helping you.

Soon, I think Hubby and I should start adding some new activities into our lives. I feel the pandemic heading towards the end, mostly because our 2nd vaccination is on the calendar. We are sufficiently moved in, and relaxed. Most all administrative stuff (relating to the move) is done. We are just waiting for our Subaru to finally reach us from the US.

I tracked and pre-planned my meals these past seven days, staying within weight loss ranges every day. I weighed myself this morning and was treated to my usual excellent Week 1 big loss of 4.2 lbs (1.9 kg). Again, some is water weight loss. That gets me down to the weight I was before my recent gain. I'm going to keep going. I might start writing posts in my blog again, as an encouragement for myself. That's helped me before. Many of my blog followers are ones who write about such topics. The last time I started such a series was July 24, 2020 and it lasted seven weeks. The time before started April 13, 2018 and lasted 30 weeks (with brief breaks and setbacks due to vacations). My dedication/determination to this task obviously varies. Those past two times I reached the same low and started at about the same weight. I'd like to beat them.

I did. I have enough to last the week for regular meds and a couple days worth of temazepam and two klonopin which I split in half. The rest is hidden from me. A safe is a good idea.

I have some fun things lined up for this week: a movie Tuesday, a patriotic concert Thursday with fireworks, my daughter coming in on Friday, tubing down a river Saturday and trying a new Thai restaurant. I’m also looking forward to floating every day, buying more flowers and a lovely picture frame for my daughter’s graduation picture. Focus on the good.

I have a med provider appointment today and two meetings so today will be hopping. I’m going to talk to my NP about my meds in light of the situation. Something might help.

Wishing everyone a peaceful Monday.

That's such nice news about your upcoming pleasant events. I could really feel the excitement in your post.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. My guilt, shame, and regret torture me night and day. During the day, I shut down my brain by binge watching Netflix and reading, but at night, I can’t hide from the past. I woke up anxious this morning. I wish I had been the mother my children needed. In recent months, I’ve come to realize I’m a selfish, self-absorbed person. I know now that I’ve always been this way. I’m trying to change. I pray to God to help me consider how my words and actions affect others. I want to be a good person.

So glad to hear you’ve got some fun things to look forward to. I hope you and your daughter have a lovely visit.

Is it possible to post images here? If so, I hope you’ll share your drawing with us. I enjoy drawing, too, plus watercolor.

It sounds like the party was a rousing success! So many happy memories for everyone. I’m glad you had a wonderful day.

I can relate. I’ve experienced blunting, too, and it’s unpleasant to say the least to go from feeling everything to feeling nothing. I’m sorry your sleep was interrupted. I hope you sleep better tonight.