[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing ok today I guess. I woke up fine from all the meds I took last night. My depression and anxiety didn’t really get bad until an hour or so ago. I went to Dollar General today and I got a huge baking tray for my kinetic sand. I thought I’d only be able to fit one 2 pound bag but all 3 the bags fit. I also went to the library because I had some books on hold. I browsed the shelf’s with my mom and I got some non fiction books and a Stephen King book I haven’t read. My mom got the same book too and another newer SK book. So I’ve been reading today and I listened to my podcast earlier this morning. I’ve had like 5 sodas so I’m trying to drink water now. I ate today too but not a whole lot. I just now had a bowl of ramen. I haven’t heard back from either of the places I applied to but I know it could take awhile. I’m not really sure I want to work at the library. The stairs are scary and I almost fell down them 4 times. They all have these like raised bumps on each step right where you put your feet. It seems pretty dangerous. Plus the whole library just seemed weird to me. So I’m waiting to hear back from my old job. My manager put my status as re Hirable. So I’m just hoping things work out and they call. I don’t have a plan C. Basically it was the library or back to my old job. But if neither of them work out then I’ll wait until December or January and figure out another retail store I can work at. Things are always much calmer in the retail world after the holidays anyways.

I ordered some of those really good face masks the N75 ones or whatever they are called. I don’t want to take any chances this fall. I read online that the medical ones are only 40% effective but the ones I ordered really protect you.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Just joining the thread......I'm tired today. I fell asleep early last night which always means I wake up and stay awake for hours during the night. I've even napped today which I very rarely do. Fortunately my mood seems to be ok. I'm actually doing very well at avoiding my summer hypo/mania this year which I'm excited about. Usually it's the end of July or first week of August so I'm moving away from the risky time. That would be great.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Just joining the thread......I'm tired today. I fell asleep early last night which always means I wake up and stay awake for hours during the night. I've even napped today which I very rarely do. Fortunately my mood seems to be ok. I'm actually doing very well at avoiding my summer hypo/mania this year which I'm excited about. Usually it's the end of July or first week of August so I'm moving away from the risky time. That would be great.

Fingers crossed for you

I just took the new shuttle service at the mall that is available while the catwalk connecting the bus station and the mall is closed for repairs for the next six weeks. It was bliss! They are using one of the mini-buses used for the disabled and it is so comfortable! Leather seats with seatbelts, air-conditioning on high, jolly drivers and ramps on and off. The vehicles were waiting on the way there AND back! I had the whole ride to myself. I saw a flock of geese hunkering down for the night. It was so wonderful to be in a clean luxurious vehicle! They did everything but roll out the red carpet for me!

[Nammu]

I went to my aqua Zumba class tonight and there’s even more people! The three new ones are young though, in bikini s. In two weeks all the classes will be held in the small pool cause they’re closing the big one. I’m not sure why, I didn’t catch all of the announcements. But how are they going to fit the 9am people in the small pool? It’s a big class. I’m wondering if they will limit sign up? You can only sign up 5 days ahead of time. I usually just sign up for all the classes Monday morning.

All the staff are wearing masks again and asking people to wear masks on their way in and out. But while you’re exercising you don’t have to. Unfortunately not everyone is following the program. I hope they don’t close because of that. They sent an email a couple days ago announcing the new changes apparently my town is having a flare up of delta cases. 😢 I don’t watch the news closely, I’m usually reading or using my iPad while mum watches it so I’ve not heard about the increase before.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

When I was in college my roommate was my very best friend. I'd never had that kind of friendship before and it was great. After I graduated and moved 2 states away we kept our friendship up with visits and lots of time chatting on AOL AIM. Then I moved back a few hours from her, she had a baby, my bipolar was really bad and things started to get stressful.

One day she came to my house essentially uninvited with a letter stating everything she thought I was doing wrong in handling my life and that I was not who I said I was and a lot of faith based things. She told me one of my friends only put up with me because he felt sorry for me. It was really awful and it came when I was suicidal. When confronted about that a few months later she said it was a risk she had to take. So risking my life was ok.

Anyway, time passed and I considered things and eventually I cut things off. I did not do it in a way I would call mature now (with a long time to grow up and learn about life) And it bothered me. So after many therapist sessions about this I mailed her a letter yesterday saying I was sorry for my part in handling the end of our relationship. It was worded better than that though.

And now I'm nervous about what happens next. Either she reads it and sees it for what it is, she sees it and thinks bad things, she wants to talk more or not, etc. I don't want a new relationship with her. I know she acted out of what she felt was right, not malice, but I don't want to be hurt again.

The waiting is going to be hard. My therapist says if 6 weeks pass and I've not heard I won't. We'll see.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

When I was in college my roommate was my very best friend. I'd never had that kind of friendship before and it was great. After I graduated and moved 2 states away we kept our friendship up with visits and lots of time chatting on AOL AIM. Then I moved back a few hours from her, she had a baby, my bipolar was really bad and things started to get stressful.

One day she came to my house essentially uninvited with a letter stating everything she thought I was doing wrong in handling my life and that I was not who I said I was and a lot of faith based things. She told me one of my friends only put up with me because he felt sorry for me. It was really awful and it came when I was suicidal. When confronted about that a few months later she said it was a risk she had to take. So risking my life was ok.

Anyway, time passed and I considered things and eventually I cut things off. I did not do it in a way I would call mature now (with a long time to grow up and learn about life) And it bothered me. So after many therapist sessions about this I mailed her a letter yesterday saying I was sorry for my part in handling the end of our relationship. It was worded better than that though.

And now I'm nervous about what happens next. Either she reads it and sees it for what it is, she sees it and thinks bad things, she wants to talk more or not, etc. I don't want a new relationship with her. I know she acted out of what she felt was right, not malice, but I don't want to be hurt again.

The waiting is going to be hard. My therapist says if 6 weeks pass and I've not heard I won't. We'll see.

That sounds awful what that friend did! Inappropriate and even self-centered. She should be lucky you have even tried to rekindle the relationship by accepting any part of the blame. I'll be sorry if she doesn't respond in any reasonable way. But if she doesn't, that's her loss.

I'm so excited! In ten days, on Saturday, August 21st, i turn 55 and qualify for an active seniors center in my city! I've applied for membership and paid and registered for a spaghetti-and-meatball lunch on Monday, August 23rd (they are closed on weekends). They might be able to give me a tour also.

Yay! New people! A new place to go! Stuff to do in the daytime! I can't wait!

The form asked if i had a disability THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. I didn't feel they SHOULD KNOW ABOUT my bipolar as i am very private about it so i didn't indicate it. Later in the form the question came up again in questions-for-funding-purposes and i indicated that i had a disability but was not asked to specify. Let me be a mystery to them, it is none of their business.

[Nammu]

I feel more and more comfortable at aqua fitness classes. This morning the instructor asked me how to sign good morning. So more and more of the ladies know I’m deaf. To me that’s a good thing. It means if I don’t see them talking they know I’m not ignoring them but not hearing them. The thing about being deaf is that like MI it’s largely an invisible disability. And people who don’t know I’m deaf think I’m being rude and ignoring them. Can’t begin to count the number of times someone formed bad thoughts about me because I didn’t hear them then if/when they found out they were embarrassed. I’ve found it best to be upfront. But the aqua fitness classes are a bunch of nice people. This is week three and despite eating the same, going to classes 4-5 days a week I’ve lost not an once! !! But today I did notice that I’m getting more flexible!

[Moose72]

I saw my case manager today in her office for an hour. We made a safety plan. It's pretty good if I say so myself! We got a lot of good stuff in there. She got a copy and I got one too. I'm divided whether or not I will keep it in my purse so it's always with me or up on the fridge so I know where it is.

Tomorrow N3 gets his license. New pic than his enhanced ID which he was young when that photo was taken. I'm not sure if you can have both or if the driver's license takes the place of the enhanced ID.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve been ignoring some pain I’ve been having for a couple days. I assume it’s just another UTI as a result of probably some thinning of the lining of my uterus which often happens to trans men and that’s why they medically need a hysterectomy. Because of the pain and bleeding and stuff. Anyways the pain was bad around noon and I figured I couldn’t just keep ignoring it. With my preop appointment not for over a month. I also knew I needed an actual urine test not an at home one so I called my primary doctor and he sent an order over to the lab and I went over there and was in and out in about 10 minutes. I don’t feel like sick or washed out or anything. I just have the typical UTI pain and burning. I’ve been just reading all day. I did get to the library again this morning to pickup some books I had on hold. I got a grilled cheese sandwich from their cafe and I swear it was the best grilled cheese I ever had. And it was from a frigging library cafe. But I’ve been on a search for the best grilled cheese and I finally found it. For less then $4 too.

But besides the library and the doctors I haven’t been doing anything. I made it to my next weight loss goal so I bought myself a shirt on Amazon with a giant penny on the front. I had one when I was a kid.

[Moose72]

It's storming here. Lots of sideways rain and high winds. Trees blowing all around. I just hope the power stays on!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I’ve been ignoring some pain I’ve been having for a couple days. I assume it’s just another UTI as a result of probably some thinning of the lining of my uterus which often happens to trans men and that’s why they medically need a hysterectomy. Because of the pain and bleeding and stuff. Anyways the pain was bad around noon and I figured I couldn’t just keep ignoring it. With my preop appointment not for over a month. I also knew I needed an actual urine test not an at home one so I called my primary doctor and he sent an order over to the lab and I went over there and was in and out in about 10 minutes. I don’t feel like sick or washed out or anything. I just have the typical UTI pain and burning. I’ve been just reading all day. I did get to the library again this morning to pickup some books I had on hold. I got a grilled cheese sandwich from their cafe and I swear it was the best grilled cheese I ever had. And it was from a frigging library cafe. But I’ve been on a search for the best grilled cheese and I finally found it. For less then $4 too.

But besides the library and the doctors I haven’t been doing anything. I made it to my next weight loss goal so I bought myself a shirt on Amazon with a giant penny on the front. I had one when I was a kid.

I have never seen a library with a cafe. That is amazing!

[*Beth*]

I don't know what's the matter with me, I've just been feeling down. Getting used to my new apartment is taking me a bit longer than I'd prefer. Everything is in its place, I just can't quite shake the feeling that things are backwards. Sounds weird, I know, but the new apartment is the same floor plan as the previous apartment, only backwards...as in, opposite. It's messing with my mind a bit.

My pdoc leaving so suddenly still has me floored. And my daughter is in New York as of today; she'll be living there to go to grad school. Of course, she's still not communicating with me...it's been 2 1/2 years. I don't know; that's probably a big reason for feeling down.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I don't know what's the matter with me, I've just been feeling down. Getting used to my new apartment is taking me a bit longer than I'd prefer. Everything is in its place, I just can't quite shake the feeling that things are backwards. Sounds weird, I know, but the new apartment is the same floor plan as the previous apartment, only backwards...as in, opposite. It's messing with my mind a bit.

My pdoc leaving so suddenly still has me floored. And my daughter is in New York as of today; she'll be living there to go to grad school. Of course, she's still not communicating with me...it's been 2 1/2 years. I don't know; that's probably a big reason for feeling down.

I agree- that's likely a huge reason why you're feeling down. The backward apartment? It's just messing with your mind. You'll get used to it.

[Moose72]

It's only 6:36 right now. I feel like it's 8:36 and time for night meds. Oh well. Been a long day it seems. Tomorrow, pdoc is calling me at 2-something to check on me after I talked with her last Friday. At least she sent in my prescription for Seroquel 300's finally. I don't really know what went down with that except that the left hand was blaming the right hand and vise versa.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I have never seen a library with a cafe. That is amazing!

I’ve seen better library cafes then this one but not with these good of prices. The grilled cheese sandwich from the other one was also pretty good.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

When I was in college my roommate was my very best friend. I'd never had that kind of friendship before and it was great. After I graduated and moved 2 states away we kept our friendship up with visits and lots of time chatting on AOL AIM. Then I moved back a few hours from her, she had a baby, my bipolar was really bad and things started to get stressful.

One day she came to my house essentially uninvited with a letter stating everything she thought I was doing wrong in handling my life and that I was not who I said I was and a lot of faith based things. She told me one of my friends only put up with me because he felt sorry for me. It was really awful and it came when I was suicidal. When confronted about that a few months later she said it was a risk she had to take. So risking my life was ok.

Anyway, time passed and I considered things and eventually I cut things off. I did not do it in a way I would call mature now (with a long time to grow up and learn about life) And it bothered me. So after many therapist sessions about this I mailed her a letter yesterday saying I was sorry for my part in handling the end of our relationship. It was worded better than that though.

And now I'm nervous about what happens next. Either she reads it and sees it for what it is, she sees it and thinks bad things, she wants to talk more or not, etc. I don't want a new relationship with her. I know she acted out of what she felt was right, not malice, but I don't want to be hurt again.

The waiting is going to be hard. My therapist says if 6 weeks pass and I've not heard I won't. We'll see.

Im sorry that someone treated you that way. Life and relationship with others can often be such a messy thing to sort through for anyone but the way she acted was ugly.. You were dealing with alot.

I think its actually kind of you to write that letter. I would be nervous about any kind of response. But I am guessing that the letter is going to be helpful emotionally for you regardless of her response or no response..

I hope that she responds and she has found kindness and empathy.

I know that the stigma of mental illness is slowly decreasing, I wish it would move faster though.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I feel more and more comfortable at aqua fitness classes. This morning the instructor asked me how to sign good morning. So more and more of the ladies know I’m deaf. To me that’s a good thing. It means if I don’t see them talking they know I’m not ignoring them but not hearing them. The thing about being deaf is that like MI it’s largely an invisible disability. And people who don’t know I’m deaf think I’m being rude and ignoring them. Can’t begin to count the number of times someone formed bad thoughts about me because I didn’t hear them then if/when they found out they were embarrassed. I’ve found it best to be upfront. But the aqua fitness classes are a bunch of nice people. This is week three and despite eating the same, going to classes 4-5 days a week I’ve lost not an once! !! But today I did notice that I’m getting more flexible!

That is so Great !!! I'm glad that people are understanding.. yes invisible things can make our struggles much more difficult.

One thing to keep in mind muscle weighs more than fat so even if your not seeing the numbers drop it doesn't mean your not losing your just replacing with muscle.. I'd say just see how your clothes are fitting. I can't look at numbers on a scale as that is a trigger, But if my clothes are fitting better / nicer than its a good thing.

Oh I wish I had access to a pool. Aqua exercise in so much better for Fibro and PsA..

Enjoy

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I don't know what's the matter with me, I've just been feeling down. Getting used to my new apartment is taking me a bit longer than I'd prefer. Everything is in its place, I just can't quite shake the feeling that things are backwards. Sounds weird, I know, but the new apartment is the same floor plan as the previous apartment, only backwards...as in, opposite. It's messing with my mind a bit.

My pdoc leaving so suddenly still has me floored. And my daughter is in New York as of today; she'll be living there to go to grad school. Of course, she's still not communicating with me...it's been 2 1/2 years. I don't know; that's probably a big reason for feeling down.

I think it will take sometime to get use to the new place. Try not to overthink that bit. You also are dealing with the stress of your cat now on Insulin..

My Pdoc mentally had already left so our last appt which was zoom and honestly I would have preferred I just got a call saying he was gone and I was getting set up with someone else.. But I did , well still do feel abandoned.. 11 years and Poof gone..

I do hope you get some kind of letter from her. But i wouldnt hold my breath as she probably wasnt allowed to have patient info to send a letter even if it was just a form letter of some sort. Its such a shame that she up and left but if something ruptured between her and the boss for her sake it was healthy to leave... Sucks for you and her other patients though.

I'm sorry about your Daughter.. Maybe one day a relationship can be reformed

[~Christina]

I am really struggling.

My Fibro is just awful.. yesterday woke up in tears as my hands are just raging pain. Couldnt even hold my phone. As the day progressed I was able to do a small amount of typing.. Its also getting hard to take a deep breath due to the pain in my ribs.. Fibro effects the entire body.. This kind of hand and difficulty breathing due to pain ??? Ugh so not good, it leads me to a very dark place.

Steve has been not feeling well since his middle and youngest son left.. He did alot of running around with them, but hes still sleeping 12+ hours a day, Yesterday around 18 hours straight. He said he really doesnt have an specific feelings of illness. He says " he doesnt feel good" So I am on high alert.

Sleep ? Meh its not worth complaining about, its just my normal garbage.

This heat wave.. temps of 98+ and heat index 109+ is sucking the life out of me. I am going to burst into flames and will soon be just a pile of ash..

Is anyone else dealing with stores just plain being out of some item lately? My just grocery store the other days was sold out of so many meat items and canned goods. which typically has never been an issue. Today at Hellmart I needed to pick up a few items and they were out of both there brand Peanut butter and a cereal we like, No brand or store brand and lots of empty shelves. Even the TP aisle is looking slim.. Are people out buying stuff up in fear of another lock down?????

We have our trip to Florida mostly planned out.. We totally forgot that it will be Labor day weekend .. UGH !!!!!!!!!!! The traffic is going to be awful. I really wish we didn't have to go. But Steve will not miss another birthday of his granddaughter.

Anyway enough of my complaints, Never helps me to yak about them. It just is what it is... I hope everyone is doing well and hugs to anyone in need

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am really struggling.

My Fibro is just awful.. yesterday woke up in tears as my hands are just raging pain. Couldnt even hold my phone. As the day progressed I was able to do a small amount of typing.. Its also getting hard to take a deep breath due to the pain in my ribs.. Fibro effects the entire body.. This kind of hand and difficulty breathing due to pain ??? Ugh so not good, it leads me to a very dark place.


Is anyone else dealing with stores just plain being out of some item lately? My just grocery store the other days was sold out of so many meat items and canned goods. which typically has never been an issue. Today at Hellmart I needed to pick up a few items and they were out of both there brand Peanut butter and a cereal we like, No brand or store brand and lots of empty shelves. Even the TP aisle is looking slim.. Are people out buying stuff up in fear of another lock down?????

I'm so sorry the pain is so bad. I wish there was help for it.

Our Hellmart is out of lots of stuff too. When we did pickup the other day my mom asked if it is people buying stuff up again and they told her that it's a problem getting stuff from the warehouses to stores because of lack of drivers. Ours is out of really weird stuff, like oatmeal, milk and goldfish crackers. I forget what else we couldn't get but it was pretty random.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am really struggling.

My Fibro is just awful.. yesterday woke up in tears as my hands are just raging pain. Couldnt even hold my phone. As the day progressed I was able to do a small amount of typing.. Its also getting hard to take a deep breath due to the pain in my ribs.. Fibro effects the entire body.. This kind of hand and difficulty breathing due to pain ??? Ugh so not good, it leads me to a very dark place.

Steve has been not feeling well since his middle and youngest son left.. He did alot of running around with them, but hes still sleeping 12+ hours a day, Yesterday around 18 hours straight. He said he really doesnt have an specific feelings of illness. He says " he doesnt feel good" So I am on high alert.

Sleep ? Meh its not worth complaining about, its just my normal garbage.

This heat wave.. temps of 98+ and heat index 109+ is sucking the life out of me. I am going to burst into flames and will soon be just a pile of ash..

Is anyone else dealing with stores just plain being out of some item lately? My just grocery store the other days was sold out of so many meat items and canned goods. which typically has never been an issue. Today at Hellmart I needed to pick up a few items and they were out of both there brand Peanut butter and a cereal we like, No brand or store brand and lots of empty shelves. Even the TP aisle is looking slim.. Are people out buying stuff up in fear of another lock down?????

We have our trip to Florida mostly planned out.. We totally forgot that it will be Labor day weekend .. UGH !!!!!!!!!!! The traffic is going to be awful. I really wish we didn't have to go. But Steve will not miss another birthday of his granddaughter.

Anyway enough of my complaints, Never helps me to yak about them. It just is what it is... I hope everyone is doing well and hugs to anyone in need

I’m so sorry about the pain that absolutely sucks. I wish I could make it better. I also wish there was a pool near you, you would love the small pool it’s warmer than the large pool and only 4-5 feet deep.

I so wish you didn’t have to go to Florida it takes so much out of you.

I waved my unicorn horn and wand around and sent purple healing rays your way.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm so sorry the pain is so bad. I wish there was help for it.

Our Hellmart is out of lots of stuff too. When we did pickup the other day my mom asked if it is people buying stuff up again and they told her that it's a problem getting stuff from the warehouses to stores because of lack of drivers. Ours is out of really weird stuff, like oatmeal, milk and goldfish crackers. I forget what else we couldn't get but it was pretty random.

Thank you

Well I feel better knowing that its likely an issue of that lack of drivers and not another case of mass hoarding. Honestly I think my brain will just melt if we have another lock down like before. I don't really see that happening again as our economy is not even close to back to pre covid levels..

Oh the stress!!! Meh !

[bizi]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I'm so excited! In ten days, on Saturday, August 21st, i turn 55 and qualify for an active seniors center in my city! I've applied for membership and paid and registered for a spaghetti-and-meatball lunch on Monday, August 23rd (they are closed on weekends). They might be able to give me a tour also.

Yay! New people! A new place to go! Stuff to do in the daytime! I can't wait!

The form asked if i had a disability THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. I didn't feel they SHOULD KNOW ABOUT my bipolar as i am very private about it so i didn't indicate it. Later in the form the question came up again in questions-for-funding-purposes and i indicated that i had a disability but was not asked to specify. Let me be a mystery to them, it is none of their business.

This struck a cord. my dentist office asked if I was bipolar on one of their My echart on line medical history. It is none of their damn business.
bizi