Bipolar check-in #61

Agree. My vet's office not only does this (which I think is a minimum) they've even called to check on a sick cat the next day. I've had to leave a vet a few times for different reasons but eventually landed on one I trust and hope it stick with forever. You paid for the tests, you definitely deserve to know what they were and what the results were.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I agree with this. You should be able to communicate with your vet. Granted my guy is old but when they tested him they gave me papers that listed everything he was tested for and showed me the range. His papers showed his bloodwork was in the middle for everything. Not only did they give me the papers the tech went over them with me. Vets may prefer animals to people but they are still running a business and need to communicate clearly.

Absolutely! The paperwork is essential, as is an explanation for all tests done. And ALL questions asked should be appropriately addressed.

Soupe, I think it’s nighttime again for you but know we are thinking of you.

Soupe, please take care of yourself and reach out. We're when you want to talk. We miss you.

You’re right everyone. I called his vet back and described what was happening to the tech who answered. I found out his original vet isn’t there that week so the tech passed my info on to the other vet, who I have talked to before (she was the one who read Cheeto’s ultrasound to me). She explained everything on the ultrasound to me thoroughly and ordered a test (that did come back negative) that she said the original vet really should have ordered originally. So I already know that maybe the original vet is not as thorough as he should be.

The female vet was in surgery all day so she’s going to call me back tomorrow.

Today was interesting. I woke up and felt ok enough to go to therapy. I was tired and not hungry and nervous about my doctors appointment but I didn't feel sick the way I did last night. Therapy went well. I voiced my concerns about my apointment. She acknowleded my feelings and said it was good that I went to the dentist and was ruling stuff out and yeah peeing neon yellow is not good. Then she said quietly and a bit nervously "have you been tested for covid?" And I said yeah like a week ago. Then we made a food plan the rest of the session.

My mom and I went out afterwards to a few stores a couple hours away. Things were going ok. She asked if I wanted to go out to eat but I had no appeite so I just got a smoothie and a jerky stick from Smoothie King. Then right after Smoothie King I really had to use the bathroom. And it was making me feel pretty sick. I wanted to continue and I didnt want to deal with public restrooms. So I just held it. That was around 11 and by the time we were just about done with our shopping at 2 I was in full blown distress. And 2 hours from home. Luckily I made it though I did finally tell my mom what was going on about half an hour back and asked if my sisters house was any closer then ours. My mom asked if I wanted to stop at a shady rest stop which is why I didn't tell her I had to go 4 hours ago. But she knew something was not right with me and she kept asking if I was ok throughout the trip.

But anyways now I just have another headache and I'm very cold and there probably is something legit going on. I'll find out more tommorow.

I have the hood to my red hoodie up and I'm giving off major Elliot from ET vibes. I'm just so frigging cold.

Sending you love and hugs Soupe

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Nothing major going on today other than these bloody tactile hallucinations. Like how many showers can I take in one day?

I’m considering a Fitbit. Asking my Daughter a ton of questions. I’m just stuck with zero motivation to get up and actually push for physical exercise. I think maybe seeing what I’m doing as far as steps could be what I need and monitor heart rate. I have tachycardia and not sure my current medication is still working. Like it shouldn’t be this hard ! But I also don’t want to invest a lot of money into something I won’t really use … but that could be motivation also ?

I’ve also decided I’m going to do Keto for a short while. I do need to get some stuff from the store to be able to start that. I know following my diabetic choices has kept me from getting even bigger but still I simply have to lose some of this weight I haven’t been this heavy since I was pregnant with my daughter 30 years ago.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful Wednesday

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My daughter did keto and said food choices are excellent. She would send me photos of her meals and they looked delicious She lost about 20lbs right off the bat but has been stuck since then. Doesn’t help that she has a desk job now. She loves it and her coworkers but it is sedentary

So, the vet called back. Turns out they did do a thyroid test and diabetes. Negative. She told me at this point I’m going to have to take him to a specialist.

We’re getting into financially impossible areas here. A consult is $250. I’m kind of steeling myself at this point for the inevitable; that there really is nothing to be done. I’m going to take him for a consult, and I’m going to tell them to give it to me straight. Is it worth spending thousands in testing to find out it’s too late anyway? Even if they can find something, is it so rare that it’s untreatable or financially impossible to treat in the long term? I just need to hear someone say what I believe now is true. Only then can I make my peace with letting him go.

There’s a vet hospital near where I work. I’m going to call tomorrow and see if I can get an early morning appointment so I can drop him off and go to work. I don’t know if they’ll hold on to him all day but I’ll pay extra, I can’t miss work or leave early again.

I haven’t taken vraylar in two days and my stomach pain and nausea are much better, which is a blessing and a curse because I’m physically better so it’s likely the med that cause the issues, but my mood is out of control already. However I am close to that time of the month and I have a lot of stress with my cat so it’s hard to say. I was rocketing around from elevation to depression to intense anger back to depression and who knows what else. I got stuck in a loop in my head focused on my last hospitalization and what I feel I should have done differently(nothing good, by the way). I had to shake my head because I was driving totally spaced out. I got myself back when I realized I was about to turn onto the on ramp for the highway. Took some deep breaths and tried not to grip the steering wheel so hard and drive like a jerk.

Sigh. Tomorrow is another day. Boring as all hell again. I’m glad the students are definitely coming back Tuesday, I can’t take it anymore.

Well, yesterday's appointment went well; dropped the trazadone as I'm doing well with my sleep hygiene exercise. Doc wasn't too concerned with the little up episode as it went away quickly enough and I didn't do anything more interesting than drink some wine. (didn't drive on wine, no worries). I usually avoid alcohol entirely. So now its just the Abilify with a benztropine chaser to keep the shakes under control. Next appointment in three months so that's a good sign of stable. Really should post here more often I just don't seem to get in the frame of mind to write very often.

Thanks again for the touch of encouragement earlier, really does help.

I’m glad it helped her. I fully expect to lose some then just be at a standstill. But anything lost I’ll be happy about.

This morning I make like a egg quiche ( was eggs a bit of sausage and cheese. ) in a muffin pan so good and loads of protein. They were so cute and easy to do lol they tasted really good. I’ll be making them again.

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I’m glad you got the info on what testing they did on Cheeto. Maybe you will hear good news at the consult. It’s so hard to watch a beloved fur baby go through something like this. Sending you loads of hugs

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Thanks, Friends, for the inquiries and well-wishes. I've needed a little shift, in thinking and actions. I'm not in any really concerning state of mind, but one that threatens to become one. Frustration, impatience, stir craziness, etc. In any case, I'm sorry for my post a couple days ago. It was written at a bad moment.

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to catch up on past posts, but am hoping these recent days have brought some pleasant moments and/or a bit of relief from stressors.

My husband and I got our 3rd covid boosters yesterday. I felt just fine after the first two, but woke up this morning a bit tired with mild malaise. I do feel better now. My sister-in-law and her new beau visited us today. The lunch I prepared was mostly cooked on the gas grill. That was nice, despite it being January.

Good to hear from you Soupe. I’m glad things aren’t so dire as they last sounded but still you’re struggling. I hope the threatening storm passes you by.

Thanks, Nammu.

No major storm is expected where I am in Czech Republic. Perhaps you're thinking of New Jersey? I'm originally from there, but moved abroad almost one year ago. My side of the family still mostly does. My dad and sister (and her husband) are retired so will likely stay home. My nephew and brother do still work, so may have to drive in it. I think member wildflowerchild could be affected, though.

Today has not been good. I slept a long time on an empty stomach. I pulled myself out of bed at 7 but I was beyond cold and I knew I couldnt get in the shower right away. So I huddled on the recliner with a blanket for 45 minutes shaking until I felt like I could shower. I had the water turned so hot I'm sure most people would find it unbearable. Then when I was done I grabbed my towel and closed the shower curtain and dried off in the shower in the steam of the water.

Then I had brought my clothes in the bathroom and when I came out my mom was in her night gown and started *****ing at me about how we had to leave in 25 minutes and why didnt I wake her up. I thought my appointment was at 10 and why is it my responsibilty to wake her up anyways.

So then we made it to the doctors just fine and the nurse was really nice. But the doctor had an attitude like "why are you here? I took everything out your issue is not something that needs to be dealt with by me." Um, his RN gave me 2 suggestions on what the issue could be and told me to come in. But he said I could have a UTI or something intestional. He had me do a urine test and he's going to do a urine culture and he gave me 2 prescriptions for antibiotics.

Meanwhile I'm still incredibly exhausted and very cold and not very hungry and I have another headache. I also have money problems from the dentist and some medical bills and these Dr. copays and now these prescpritions. Plus I'll need more prescrptions this month from my pdoc. So I may have to dip pretty deeply into my savings this month.

Not to mention as I was fumbling with the urine sample the toilet was starting to overflow. So I was trying to put the sample in the bag, then in the metal door, then wash my hands, all while the water is starting to rise over the toilet. So I had to tell my mom to tell the lady at the desk about it. On top of all that when they called my name they misprounced my dead name very loudly in front of the crowded waiting room.

What a ****ing mess though. I have a primary appointment in a couple weeks maybe he can help me more then a specialist.

Oh maybe I read you wrong? I meant the personal storm that was threatening your peace of mind. But yeah that east coast weather storm is looking pretty dire for those folks. Ice! Lots of ice.

@Soupe du jour
Never apologize for being yourself! We care about you and I’m sure we’re all happy that you’re ok(ish). I do hope you can avoid the dangerous line of thinking as much as possible.

**** me. I am so incredibly depressed. I have to give my son an at home test when I pick him up, he got exposed and is showing symptoms. He ALWAYS has a cough and stuffy nose all winter, pretty much all year if he doesn’t take his allergy med daily, but it is worse in the winter. But I noticed this morning he’s stuffier and coughing a lot which he doesn’t usually do, and if he’s been exposed I’d feel like a right a-hole assuming it’s nothing. He was allowed to stay today bc he is vaccinated.

I left work early anyway. I’m going to be so screwed in my end of year review. But I just can’t do it every day right now. I’ll get a note from my pdoc if I have to.

No stomach pain or nausea at all today. I got an upset stomach yesterday after eating a grilled cheese and creamy tomato soup, though, so signs are pointing toward dairy intolerance for the other digestive issues that have been there since august. The soy milk on cereal is fine, silk green coconut milk yogurt is good, and dark chocolate is fine because proper dark chocolate contains milk fat which only has minuscule lactose. Haven’t found a decent ice cream but I can eat sorbet. It’s the cheese that makes me sad. I hope if I detox for a few weeks I’ll be able to have cheese once in awhile. Mainly pizza and other Italian food. I don’t cook with other types of cheese because my boys only like mozzarella as well.

I’ve been suffering from SH and SI thoughts today which sucks. I will take no action though. I just keep telling myself 20 years is long enough.

Ugh I ****ing hate this. Why did the new med have to **** up my stomach??? What now? I want to get rid of all of them. I definitely won’t so don’t worry, but it is tempting.