Bipolar check-in #61

Holy shyt. I just had an appointment with a female gynecologist at a place not religiously affiliated and boy was it a different experience from my prior one in a good way. She was sensitive about my mental health stuff especially the past trauma. She suggested, but didn't push, sterilization as an option. For now I'm going to try out Kyleena though.
It was good to get out. I got my car back last night. Air pressure still low in the tires but I think that more has to do with the fact it was 3F when I left this morning (and the heater's still on the fritz!)

Thanks, Nammu! I know you're right.

I'm really not sure what my husband's full reluctance is about. If he doesn't end up skiing much, this whole trip would be a waste of time and money. A real downer! And my first online Czech lesson is this Thursday at 5 pm. Having it from a hotel room is less than ideal.

Boy! That snow in the back yard is tough to walk on. There’s a thin crust on the top then it’s knee deep. I was minding my own business when I saw a box go flying by. It looked like an unopened Amazon box. So I got dressed and went out after it. By then the wind had blown it to the other neighbors yard. The snow was up over my boots as I clumsily tottered after the box. Yeah it was unopened and very light. The wind was just blowing it away. So I plowed though the snow to the other neighbors and used their heavy Matt to weigh down the box. Then I still had to cross the lawn from their house to ours. Off da lots of snow inside my boots. 🥶

I saw my kidney doctor. He was super nice. All my doctors are nice. I was concerned about the kind of treatment I would get after moving but I feel like all my medical doctors are much better then my previous ones. But basically he said my high kidney function could be one of 2 things. Ireversiable damage done by the lithium, but he says it shouldn't get any worse. Or a side effect from an increase in muscle mass from the testosterone. He said its nothing serious but he wants a 24 hour urine collection so he can do a complete urine culture and he also wants an ultrasound done specfically where my kidneys are located to see if its from the lithium or the testosterone. Although I am not sure why he needs to figure out what happened or where it came from if nothing needs to be done. Idk. But he was nice. But the nurse took my blood pressure and the top number was 147. She was a bit alarmed. Then he took it and it was 128. I don't really like the idea of collecting urine for 24 hours. My mom said it needs to be stored in the fridge too. Gross. Its times like this when I wish I had the surgery so I could just pee into the jug they gave me. I do not plan on doing it until Monday maybe because of the weather.

Edit: I guess the urine culture and the ultrasound are to make sure that nothing else is going on and that it is either damage from the lithum or a side effect from the testosterone. This is why I am glad my mom comes into some of my appointments. Sometimes its good to have a second set of ears.

Sapien, I'm glad you had a pleasant experience with your new gynecologist. I like my new one (a female) and also liked my old one, but my old one did annoy me, at times. When I was still relatively young, I felt she judged my psychiatrist for "prescribing so many medications". When I was even younger (still in my early 30s), I felt she judged me a little for not wanting kids. I went to her for about 22 years, total. I don't know if she was religious or not. I assume she was liberal, politically, only because I knew her husband was a Democrat and into local politics, but I guess I can't judge anyone either way. Doctors are individuals.

My old gynecologist was a bit of an alarmist. Sadly, she had to deal with breast cancer and was on leave for almost two years. In her absence, I went to a senior partner gynecologist who was far more easy going. He was actually a doctor I left to start seeing her. There was nothing bad about him at all. I had just wanted to try a female gynecologist. Years later, I realized gender didn't matter at all. Again, it's just an individual thing. Just thinking to myself. Not making any suggestions or generalizations about your experiences.

I saw 3 female gynecolgists before I moved. They all sucked and focused on the mental health part of things. The last one said it would basically be impossible for me to get surgery because I might want kids. Then when I moved I saw this old guy and it didnt bother me and he immediatly agreed to do surgery and got it 100% covered by insurance. I am not sure why but I never have good luck with female doctors and I never have. Only my last dentist before I moved was good. All my current doctors and my dentist are male. I have not dabbled too much into male therapists but I was close to working with one guy I thought would be a great fit for a few reasons but he didn't think we would work out.

I have a male ob/gyn and hes way better than any female gynecologist I have ever seen. He did my surgery in December and was so compassionate! I also have a male pdoc and t and they both rock!

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour It's bugging me that Hubby doesn't want to ski until conditions are close to ideal. It may not even happen. Snow, snow, snow. Not counting snow drifts, there's likely deeper snow here where I am in Austria, than in NJ. Plus Hubby can't find a ski jacket in his size. We went to five places already. His beer belly is too big. The coat he brought for skiing looks awful. So old and sun bleached since he stored the coat near the attic window. Hubby called our new GP for our blood test results. She said my sugar level is a bit high (pre-diabetic range) again. I can lower it with more effort. She also said my kidney functioning necessitates seeing a nephrologist again. I suspected that and wondered why the last GP said nothing. I never trusted him. As for Hubby, his cholesterol and blood pressure are quite high. He stated again that we need to change our eating, but he always looks at me like it's all my responsibility and fault. I firmly stated that HE is most responsible for himself. I'll do my part for myself. I am overweight, but not nearly as much as him. I don't push food down his throat. Nor do I prevent him from exercising. I'm more physically active than him, not that I shouldn't be even more so. As for the kidney crap, I blame Lithium. I say that if it's not your "wonder drug", you may wish to avoid it. I have hypothyroidism, too, but that's nothing compared to kidney damage.

Thank you, Soupe, for the adminishment regarding lithium. From all I've learned on this forum, I agree with you.

You are correct, of course, about your husband's eating habits.

I don't know much of anything about nephrologists. When you see one, what do you expect?

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 Working on finding a balance between this new romance and my many responsibilities. It’s tough sometimes. Definitely not complaining. It’s just a challenge. I’ll be meeting M halfway this weekend to visit. Looking forward to that. There’s so little to look forward to socially since the virus is surging here. I’m cancelling event after event. Getting sick of it. I did attend a 3 day virtual DreamBuilder Live event this weekend. That was inspiring. I don’t remember if I mentioned but my 86 year old mom lost her 18 year old dog 2 months ago and her cat one month ago. She is such a pet lover that she started going downhill rather quickly. I took her Friday to adopt a Norfolk Terrier mix and it’s breathed new life into her. So happy for her. I don’t like dogs but this one is a good fit. I can handle it. I hope everyone is having a peaceful day.

Your poor mom. Sometimes losing pets is harder than losing (some) people. I hope she has many wonderful years with her new pup

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 Hey all, we made it through the storm ok. RS worked 16 hours on Saturday to clear the complex he works for. It was way too cold and windy for me to go outside. One of our neighbors was super nice and cleared our sidewalk for us early. I reluctantly went out to finish it on Sunday when it finally stopped snowing. Otherwise I did not shovel as I’m still worried about throwing my back out again. I was ok mood wise sort of. I was perfectly fine for two days but today I’ve woken up out of sorts. Not enough to feel the need to call out but enough. @BethRags Cheeto is still ok, he’s not as disheveled now that I’ve brushed him a few times, and he’s still eating/drinking and he’s still 13lbs. I don’t get it! But I’m happy he turned a corner.

Good that you made it through the storm okay!

Great news on Cheeto. Cats' health can be so strange sometimes. I hope he only continues to improve.

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Originally Posted by Nammu Boy! That snow in the back yard is tough to walk on. There’s a thin crust on the top then it’s knee deep. I was minding my own business when I saw a box go flying by. It looked like an unopened Amazon box. So I got dressed and went out after it. By then the wind had blown it to the other neighbors yard. The snow was up over my boots as I clumsily tottered after the box. Yeah it was unopened and very light. The wind was just blowing it away. So I plowed though the snow to the other neighbors and used their heavy Matt to weigh down the box. Then I still had to cross the lawn from their house to ours. Off da lots of snow inside my boots. 🥶

Oh, my goodness! How kind of you to anchor the box. And thank you for the reminder....I'm expecting a fairly light box from Amazon today (socks, a make-up case for my diabetic kitty's supplies, and a pack of oat bars). Our wind is absolutely wild today - I'll have to watch out for the delivery so it doesn't blow away!

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I saw 3 female gynecolgists before I moved. They all sucked and focused on the mental health part of things. The last one said it would basically be impossible for me to get surgery because I might want kids. Then when I moved I saw this old guy and it didnt bother me and he immediatly agreed to do surgery and got it 100% covered by insurance. I am not sure why but I never have good luck with female doctors and I never have. Only my last dentist before I moved was good. All my current doctors and my dentist are male. I have not dabbled too much into male therapists but I was close to working with one guy I thought would be a great fit for a few reasons but he didn't think we would work out.

I seldom (if ever) have good luck with female doctors, too. Sometimes they have attitude...defensive...which tells me they're afraid to be wrong. And I'm not there to make them feel competent.

Yeah when a female doctor walked into the ER last week my stomach sunk and she was kinda *****y. Luckily I mostly just dealt with the very nice male PA. Nurses and technicans I prefer them to be female though.

Everyone is acting like this winter storm is the end of the world or something. They are talking about losing power and the schools have gone to remote. I am the first to panic but all I did was make my Friday trip today and send an email to my therapist saying we need to switch to remote. Which she most likely already knew. I just hope my mom can get the snow blower to work because I am a bit worried about shoveling with how high my blood pressure has been getting. My doctor today told me to be aware of hypertenstion also because of the testereone. And I know you can have heart attacks shoveling the snow. But my mom shouldnt do it and I doubt she'll ask my brother to help since he never helps shovel.

The weatherman just said "this will be one you'll never forget." Maybe the state I moved to just doesn't get these types of storms but I swear being through worse then this before. Not ever losing power though. But I have about 50 pounds of weighted blankets so If we do lose power I'd only be worried about the cats.

My mom just said the weatherman is driving her nuts. Lol. He is so excited he's like a kid in a candy shop right now.

Still stumbling and staggering thru life, amazed that i still manage to stay upright.

My neighbor adopted a new dog who is eight and has had a hard life so far. He makes a terrible fuss whenever she goes out. He sounds so lonely! He's a "Lonely Boy"! It's upsetting to listen to. I thought of taking some amusement and going and sitting outside his door and talking quietly to him but my neighbor is quite grouchy and probably wouldn't like that. I talked to my other neighbor who i am close to and she agreed that it is upsetting to hear the dog suffer but there's nothing we can do and hopefully the dog will adjust eventually.

My close neighbor said work we have to have done on our condos can be put off til May which i was delighted to hear since it works out better financially for me as i can pay out of my income tax refund (Canadian). It's quite a pricey electrical upgrade. Sigh! The joys of homeowning.

My meal service which has been working out nicely til now had a hiccup today when the delivery person delivered the wrong order, but we sorted it out.

Not too active today tho i did manage to get my dog out so i observed my obligation to her which is always nice.

I feel okay, will play Scrabble and listen to the radio until bedtime and ZOOM support group tomorrow in the afternoon and then online Scrabble club in the evening.

Yes our weathermen are antsy too. I pray this is nothing like the ice storm of 2009. We are expected to get a significant amount of ice

I feel like my doctor purposefully prescribed poisonous meds. I think they’re killing me. Or someone at the pharmacy did something to poison my meds.

Can you try some fact checking?

Why would he want to poison you? What reason could he have?

I done f—ed up today regarding meds. Completely forgot my AM meds, second time in a week! Worst part was my med alarm went off and I checked it off because I thought I had taken them, but when I went to take my night meds I realized I hadn’t. I’ve changed the time of the alarm to 15 mins earlier.

I also took my evening med an hour late because I got wrapped up in a “documentary”, it was about vampire hunters in America and it was SO FAKE but presented as 100% real and it was glorious, I couldn’t turn it off. Then I proceeded to read ranker and bored panda for two hours, overstimulating myself even further.

Now it’s 11:35pm and I can’t sleep. I’ve just done the dishes. It’s too late to take the PRN seroquel, I won’t get up.

I knew something was off because I was a bit irritable in the morning at work (one of the kids has this loud piercing screech as a laugh and I can’t stand it, but it’s not her fault obvs). But then I got kinda giddy, which I am now. I’m trying to think of what else I can do to tire myself out but I don’t want to wake anyone up. I’m very clumsy and drop/crash into things so if I try to clean I’m likely to make a lot of noise accidentally. I did the dishes very carefully to minimize clanking of ceramic, the steel stock pot, pans, and silverware.

I guess I can try the waterfall sounds, that dull white noise might help me cancel my scattered thoughts.

Hi Beth. In my case, my nephrologist's main focus was on extensive blood testing. There's a lot to see regarding renal health. I also had an ultrasound.

In the office, a focus is on vitals. Blood pressure is particularly important as there is a link between it and kidney health. Most nephrologists even specialize in hypertension. Comprehensive metabolic test results are also important.

He always checked my ankles for any swelling and listened to my heart and other things, thoroughly. He was also always interested in any medication changes. Lithium was weaned off as soon as my kidney damage was discovered. I have stage 3 of 5 kidney disease. It's not great, as this indicates only about 50% kidney functioning. There's no repairing them. The damage is done. It's a matter of not worsening them. I currently have no uncomfortable (or really noticeable) symptoms, but many don't until things get really bad. Sometimes a kidney health diet may be recommended. I think my old nephrologist never emphasized that to me because my relevant blood test results showed those levels as good (i e. sodium, potassium, phosphorus, maybe protein). Avoiding diabetes is also crucial, so I'd better cut down on the sugars. Not sure what other checks are done for higher stage kidney disease.

I will not be donating a kidney.

The new thread is here: Bipolar check-in #62