Bipolar check-in #63

I'm sorry. I had ankle reconstruction surgery 8 years ago and was on bedrest with my leg elevated for 6 weeks (on a walker when up) then on crutches for 6 weeks or so and then in a boot for a while. It was hard.

I read a lot of books from my childhood. I found things to watch online in series (when I was on pain meds and unable to focus a lot it was Bridezillas. That was a funny, over-dramatic show. I somehow got into figure skating and watching the Vancouver Olympics online. (I still keep up with skating now). I don't remember what else I did but the internet was a big part of it. I do remember getting bored though.


How long are you in the hip brace? (Is it the one that has a strap around your waist and a metal bar down the side to keep you a little rotated out? I had a patient with one of those once. Out of hundreds of hip fracture patients so you're really special if you got stuck in that thing). How long before you will have weightbearing? It gets a lot better then.

My son arrived today. He came for my birthday. It's his birthday in 9 days.

I'm just happy I made it another year.

My anxiety is about 75% better than it was before the Klonopin which is great. I'm glad about that. My pdoc boosted my Trintellix to 30mg so we'll see how that goes.

Hi... I read all your posts but am too tired to say much. I'm still in the ditch. No need to describe that to you. The Saturday after tomorrow I can increase the lamotrigine to where it was when I felt so good.

BUT... I can pass along something that might be helpful. In the middle of last night, having trouble sleeping, I remembered a tip from long ago, that's especially good for people who live alone. Someone said they turned on the TV in another room and the familiar sound of voices in the distance was soothing. So I basically turned on a radio in another room to NPR, too low volume to understand the words. It must have helped because I slept then.

Maybe I worry too much about sleep. Next I may try just presenting myself to the bed at bedtime and if no luck, just getting up and forgetting about it until I'm too sleepy to remain awake. And I may stop writing about it unless I can tell about something that worked.

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Originally Posted by Scooter9 My son arrived today. He came for my birthday. It's his birthday in 9 days. I'm just happy I made it another year. My anxiety is about 75% better than it was before the Klonopin which is great. I'm glad about that. My pdoc boosted my Trintellix to 30mg so we'll see how that goes.

All good stuff. When is your birthday?

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Originally Posted by tentoedsloth Hi... I read all your posts but am too tired to say much. I'm still in the ditch. No need to describe that to you. The Saturday after tomorrow I can increase the lamotrigine to where it was when I felt so good. BUT... I can pass along something that might be helpful. In the middle of last night, having trouble sleeping, I remembered a tip from long ago, that's especially good for people who live alone. Someone said they turned on the TV in another room and the familiar sound of voices in the distance was soothing. So I basically turned on a radio in another room to NPR, too low volume to understand the words. It must have helped because I slept then. Maybe I worry too much about sleep. Next I may try just presenting myself to the bed at bedtime and if no luck, just getting up and forgetting about it until I'm too sleepy to remain awake. And I may stop writing about it unless I can tell about something that worked.

I hope, hope that raising the Lamictal will also raise your spirits. Years ago, I'd come home from work (I worked the night shift at a coffeehouse) and feel too wound up to sleep. I'd turn the radio on, talk radio, low and it would help me sleep.

I worry a lot about sleep, too. It's hard not to.

I completely agree, @BethRags you are so lovely! I hope you and @whatever2013 are both doing as well as possible I’m sorry to read about Sid’s food and medicine being delayed!

And I’m sorry that your support group was a little upsetting. We’re only human and we all make mistakes Jane.

I’m so sorry @tentoedsloth , I hope things get better quickly and I hope the lamotrigine works! Sending lots of hugs your way

Well it’s 4:30am and I’m wide awake. It’s so peaceful where we’re staying but I haven’t slept well. My anxiety is pretty high, I keep worrying about things. I’m going to try and do some mindfulness to calm down. I hope I don’t feel rotten later today after not sleeping.

I’m so sorry to read of everyone’s troubles but it’s so great to see people supporting each other!

I woke up around 3:00 am this morning and had a different feeling about me. I am happy, content and excited about my future. There are some changes that I need to make to my life to make me stronger and healthier going forward but I’m eager and willing to make them. I’ve decided to reinvent myself to some extent based on my recent experience. Strengthen up some of my vulnerabilities. I’ll let you know how that turns out 12/31/22.

I’ve got housework and errands to do today and then tomorrow I meet M half way. I’m excited about our plans for Florida and Atlanta. I’ve got a movie, bible study, lunch with friends and a zoom support group meeting next week to look forward to and of course time in the sun with a good book.

I finally got my YMCA scholarship form turned in. Hopefully, I’ll get an answer soon and that will be another activity for me to enjoy.

I wish everyone a peaceful Saturday.

I'm not sure how long I'll be in the brace or when I'll be weight bearing (and yeah, it sounds like the one you're describing), I have an appointment with the doc in a couple weeks to discuss how it's going and find out all those answers.

Well I walked to the clinic near me like they told me to. Stood in line outside for 30 minutes to get a dental appointment for my toothache. They took back 5 people then told everyone else there was no more dental appointments available today so everyone else including me had to leave. I hate that this place is the only place near me that takes my insurance. I'm sick of trying to get seen there for this. My ****ing tooth hurts so bad and I'm really upset. I guess I'll have to try again next week. The really frustrating thing is they won't make appointments for cleanings or things like toothaches, you have to call early or show up early every day and hope that there's an opening for them to see you, and usually there isn't.

Last night I went to my aunts. My cousin and his wife and their 2 kids were there. In addition to the other people I was actually expecting. It was the most family I've been around since my transtion. It went ok. My 2 uncles said I looked good. My one uncle gave me a handshake. My second uncle gave me a fist bump. My uncles girlfriend means well but she doesn't understand things or really have a filter and she dead named me later in the night then apoglogized and quickly switched to my real name. Then she asked me if I was going to shave. Lol. She's accepting just not really understanding. I don't take what she says personally. I got back to the hotel late about 10. I hadnt taken my Geodon and I ended up not getting to sleep until 12:40. Then I woke up at 6. So I legit needed an iced coffee which legit helped instead of making me anxious. But my stomach is off today and it started last night and I don't know if its the increase in topamax. I had an extra packed for some reason so I started the new dose yesterday afternoon. But overall I feel ok and I am ready to go home. The trip was productive but a bit anxiety provoking basicsally just because of my pdoc appointment.

I think I'm getting my COVID19 booster shot today. Car rides are painful. Hitting frost heaves and potholes like two feet tall/deep every three feet doesn't help much. I'm like a dog though, I love car rides and walks and don't like the vacuum

edit: I'm having those lovely substance abuse impulses. I know it's the boredom. I might see if anyone has any indicas/low THC weed. Fk it.

I'm afraid that I'm a bit behind here. @BethRags, I am sending you and all others here positive vibes and well-wishes. I'm sorry you are struggling to get what you need for your kitty's health. How scary and frustrating!

Hubby and I met with his friend and had dinner at a restaurant before seeing him in the play. It is so frustrating that I can barely participate in conversations because of the language barrier. And the play? Of course I could barely understand. What was worse was that we sat in terribly uncomfortable seats and the play was long. I struggle with long nights out. I'm no longer capable of "partying", etc. We met the friend again after the play, briefly. All of the actors had a beer in the theater's pub. I shook hands with all of the main actors at the table. Two of them were particularly famous in Czech Republic. I think I recognized them from Czech movies, but there was no "star struck" feeling.

Today has seemed a blur and a waste. Even now Hubby is sleeping. It's like we're waiting and waiting. I was lamenting about my difficulty communicating with others here in CZ. It makes me feel like an empty shell. People here can only know about me the little Hubby reveals. They barely know that I love humor and can be funny and deep and...and...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Well I walked to the clinic near me like they told me to. Stood in line outside for 30 minutes to get a dental appointment for my toothache. They took back 5 people then told everyone else there was no more dental appointments available today so everyone else including me had to leave. I hate that this place is the only place near me that takes my insurance. I'm sick of trying to get seen there for this. My ****ing tooth hurts so bad and I'm really upset. I guess I'll have to try again next week. The really frustrating thing is they won't make appointments for cleanings or things like toothaches, you have to call early or show up early every day and hope that there's an opening for them to see you, and usually there isn't.

How cruel. No one for any reason anywhere should be treated in such a way.

This morning has started off very badly. I'm falling apart.

I’m sorry Beth. More purple vibes being sent your way

Her glucose keeps dropping and she's throwing up the honey. This has never happened before. I'm terrified.

Can you get to a vet or an emergency vet clinic? This sounds like she needs help, maybe an IV and some nausea meds?

Sending good wishes your way.

Haven't had my meds in two weeks my AD longer. I'm really sick of waiting for them in the mail.

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Can you get to a vet or an emergency vet clinic? This sounds like she needs help, maybe an IV and some nausea meds?

For now I'm treating her here, with help from the Feline Diabetes group. At 5 she will get her insulin shot, which should raise her numbers. If it doesn't, then the emergency vet. I'm holding off on the vet for 2 reasons...one is that I have no money. Nothing. My bank account is $5 in the hole and I have no savings. My husband has about $200, and that's all. No savings, either. Not a fun way to live. Sure wish we would have been wiser about $ when we were younger. Both of our families were alive in case of money emergencies, but now they're almost all dead. We were short-sighted.


The other reason, though, is because Sidney will be so stressed by a trip to the vet (which is 15 miles away) that the stress and upset in itself can cause more problems (glucose fluctuations). She's so trusting of me, and I of her...I keep testing her every 25 minutes and counting the moments until 5 p.m.