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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 07:32 PM
  #801
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Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
I had a wretched day taking my dog to the vet on the bus. It was for her rabies shot and other routine work and i expected it to be about $600. But the vet wanted to do complete blood and urine tests since she had that diabetes scare recently. That turned out to be an extra $400 so in total it was $1000. So that was discouraging.

I felt down about it all day and from the stress of four bus rides with my dog in the mild but filthy March weather. It took a while to unwind. But just now i took a break in my bedroom and huggled and snuggled with my dog on my bed and enjoyed her luxurious fur which she will only have for a few more days as she is getting groomed on Monday. Another ordeal but i will have my one close neighbor with me so it won't be so bad and just $100 and we'll go in style in her car.

Everything's so much harder with this mild depression. It just casts a shadow over everything. Beware those of you considering pets: it's expensive and care is an ordeal if you're depressed.

But i got it done! I guess that's something!

Jane, that was a huge (and expensive) accomplishment. Give yourself a hug! It's terrific that you'll be able to go in the car tomorrow.

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 07:37 PM
  #802
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I’m really demotivated just now. I think the hypersomnia is getting to me.
Plus my mum keeps making unsupportive comments whenever we talk.

I’ve taken an extra half of aripiprazole the past couple of days to see if it helps with the hypersomnia (it’s what my pdoc told me to do last time).
I think it’s helping because it’s 9:30pm and I’m still awake today!

Im very yawny though

But at least I’m awake! I’m going to try and stay awake all day tomorrow without any naps/sleeping in/going to bed early! Heres hoping!

So I’m away to listen to some of my favourite music like @BethRags suggested, read my book and go to sleep.
I hope you all have a lovely night!

I hope that you are having a lovely sleep right now.


I'm awfully sorry about your mom making those comments. Have you told her that her comments are hurtful to you?

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 07:38 PM
  #803
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I don't usually use this thread because it's hard to keep up, but i don't need a new thread for this news. I'm weaning off zoloft now and will depend solely on the vraylar. I hope it helps me get my weight in check and also keep the depression at bay.

That is great, gk! I have my fingers crossed for you xx

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 07:48 PM
  #804
I never did take a walk today. I feel depressed when I take walks, unless I'm in a large city. Just walking past mostly empty houses, or seeing the occasional other lonely person in their yard, is what deters me. I'd rather walk at night, but it's not a smart idea. I have no one to walk with and worse, I don't want to walk with anyone. Sometimes I used to talk with my daughter on the phone while I walked, or I would look forward to calling her after my walk. But since she doesn't communicate with me those joys are absent.

I did do some stretching, though, and that felt so good. Stretching always does. Then when it's twilight I will take my recycling out, so at least that involves stairs.

Tonight I am going to watch "Sanditon." I'm hoping it will be a fun show. One of my favorite actors, Alexander Vlahos, will be in the 2nd season.

Love and hugs all around

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 08:11 PM
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"Mini-strokes" are called "TIA's" which stands for "transient ischemic attack." You'd know for sure if you had one. Plus, you're really young to have any kind of stroke.
Yeah I know I guess I'm just a bit paranoid since my doctor did tell me I am at an increase risk for a stroke. Right now I just smell the normal bad smell I smell when lying down on my back. But nothing burnt.

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 08:39 PM
  #806
A 🦟 mosquito was buzzing around Noah this afternoon when he was fixing his car. First one I've encountered this year.

I did laundry today and took a shower so now I'm comfy in bed with clean me and clean sheets under my weighted blanket and my comforter. Feels good.

Today was warm- almost 75 degrees! March weather is crazy here. It's supposed to snow in the next few days too!

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 10:00 PM
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Went to my parents house tonight to use my dad's computer to print off some paperwork. Well my dad was out and I don't know his password. I spent like 2 hours talking to my mom. It really was a nice visit. We laughed and cried but it was nice.
I got my wife's death certificate today tomorrow it will be 4 months since she died. This week has been rough on me I'm Really depressed. My little dog is not feeling well today so I am going to take him to the vet tomorrow he has a heart condition I hope he is not dying I don't know if I could handle that. Him and I are very codependent on each other lol. I wish this crap would go away.
I took that doctors advice last night and started taking more seriquil I'm talking about 200mg twice a day instead of 100mg at night. It does not knock me out but it helps me a little bit. I have been up since like 2 this morning and I went to bed last night at like 12.

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 10:08 PM
  #808
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My life is like a roller coaster up down up down and I don't know if it will ever stop. Years ago for about 6 or so months I was diagnosed as extreme rapid cycling. I was cycle like multiple times a day. This is kind of like that but the depression is worse than anything I have ever felt. I was manic last week now I have kind of leveled off. But I am either ok or really depressed. I went to dinner with some friends of mine today and it was nice to get away but as soon as I got in my truck I started to cry and I cried all the way home. I took a seriquil after I got home hopefully it helps.
Earlier today I spent hours going through pictures of my wife and I put together a tribute book for my wife from shutterfly. I did cry while looking but it was not to horrible. My sister in law made a video for my wife's celebration of life and I still have not been able to watch it. I don't plan on watching it any time soon.

Trigger possibility next paragraph.





While I was looking at the pictures I came across one that was taken last summer in black and white. After looking at it it looks like she was sick then maybe I could of prevented her death if I would of noticed it. The other thing is the day she passed I let her sleep in a couple of extra hours because she was a little sick the night before. If I would of woke her when she was supposed to be up I might have saved her.

I am full of grief, anger and guilt. I know I should not be doing the what if game but I am stuck in a hole.

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I can’t imagine the pain of a loss like your wife. Try not to allow yourself to sink into thinking you could have stopped it. There’s probably nothing you could have done.

Try to go easy on yourself…you are grieving and there’s no time stamp on that. Good for you going out.

Take care of you

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 10:13 PM
  #809
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Well the cat woke me up at 1am with an asthma attack so naturally I’ve been up since then. My first thought was “oh hell no” so I took another 50mg seroquel, bringing my total up to 200mg and maxing myself out. But no, my body and brain flipped it off so here I am awake at 3:38am. I’m coloring again. Listening to Friends. Not sleeping.

It’s fun. Except it isn’t.

I told RS about my habit of driving my knuckles into my head now and told him to tap me if he sees me doing it. I did not tell him about the head hitting though. I have knuckle shaped lumps on the side of my head right now. I wasn’t honest in group yesterday and didn’t bring it up. I wanted to tell RS first bc my therapist in php tells him everything so I figured I better get there first. I’ll be honest today. I should probably be honest about not being completely med compliant either. But I’m not sure that I’ll do that. I should really take the correct amount of vraylar today even though I don’t think it’s working. It does curb the paranoia.

Hope you get the feeling better soon. I’m glad your talking to RS about your struggles.

How is your medication ? I remember you were wanting to decrease it ?

Go easy on yourself your still fresh out of IP and I don’t know about you but it takes me sometime to get my feet back under me.

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 10:50 PM
  #810
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The price of our upcoming trip to the US is pretty steep. I can't imagine making such a trip every year. I'm mostly doing so because of my dad's big birthday. The trip was my idea, but I had a much simpler and shorter trip in mind. My husband inevitably inflates it all. He does the same thing going to a grocery store. I used to try to shop without him, when I could, but he would often manage to tag along. He'd even go so far as to get his own cart.

I have decided to get really serious about dropping some pounds before my visit to the US. My husband's nephew shared some photos he took of us and boy did I look different (in a concerning way) than I thought. I tend to see myself in the mirror with overly generous eyes. When I see the photos, reality reigns more. I also plan to quit a particular blouse that doesn't do me any favors, in that respect.

I did a good amount of housework today, and some laundry. Tonight is my usual Thursday online Czech class. After tonight, I only have three more classes to go to finish the first section. I'll likely not sign up for the next, either for a while or possibly ever, depending on decisions we make in the near future.

Hey ! I’m glad you have a trip planned. I’m sure it will be enjoyable. What a gift your Dad having such a birthday.

I hate when my husband comes with when I am grocery shopping he’s very much a impulse shopper especially snack foods. I try to go when he’s already doing something else.

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 10:56 PM
  #811
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So T seems nice. She's agreed to see me weekly! She's vegan so I don't have to worry about her Stressing my lack of meat. So doesn't like that I have no friends, and I'm not social. We talked the whole session. She said she plans on staying a while because I told her I've been bounced around a lot and didn't want to restart but had to because I'm having conflicts with everyone in my house. I told her I feel whatever I say will be used against me to hospitalize me. She gave me clear examples of when she will alert someone. She wants to know about my experience with SzA. Which feels weird to me. My heads spinning I want to SH or/and vomit, maybe cry. I don't get it, it went well.

So happy that you have a new T that is a good fit hopefully she will help you with many of your struggles !

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 10:58 PM
  #812
I Accidentally spilled hot coffee on my arm during work training today and sustained second degree burns. The blisters were huuuuuuuuge

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 11:09 PM
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I had a wretched day taking my dog to the vet on the bus. It was for her rabies shot and other routine work and i expected it to be about $600. But the vet wanted to do complete blood and urine tests since she had that diabetes scare recently. That turned out to be an extra $400 so in total it was $1000. So that was discouraging.

I felt down about it all day and from the stress of four bus rides with my dog in the mild but filthy March weather. It took a while to unwind. But just now i took a break in my bedroom and huggled and snuggled with my dog on my bed and enjoyed her luxurious fur which she will only have for a few more days as she is getting groomed on Monday. Another ordeal but i will have my one close neighbor with me so it won't be so bad and just $100 and we'll go in style in her car.

Everything's so much harder with this mild depression. It just casts a shadow over everything. Beware those of you considering pets: it's expensive and care is an ordeal if you're depressed.

But i got it done! I guess that's something!

Oh goodness what a vet bill ! Eeekkk !!!

I worry all the time about unexpected need for vet care for my 3.

I hope that your depression starts to ease as spring gets closer and closer.

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Heart Mar 17, 2022 at 11:17 PM
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Oh goodness what a vet bill ! Eeekkk !!!

I worry all the time about unexpected need for vet care for my 3.

I hope that your depression starts to ease as spring gets closer and closer.

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 11:19 PM
  #815
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I never did take a walk today. I feel depressed when I take walks, unless I'm in a large city. Just walking past mostly empty houses, or seeing the occasional other lonely person in their yard, is what deters me. I'd rather walk at night, but it's not a smart idea. I have no one to walk with and worse, I don't want to walk with anyone. Sometimes I used to talk with my daughter on the phone while I walked, or I would look forward to calling her after my walk. But since she doesn't communicate with me those joys are absent.

I did do some stretching, though, and that felt so good. Stretching always does. Then when it's twilight I will take my recycling out, so at least that involves stairs.

Tonight I am going to watch "Sanditon." I'm hoping it will be a fun show. One of my favorite actors, Alexander Vlahos, will be in the 2nd season.

Love and hugs all around

I walked today. I only worry about a wild animal causing me a problem. Mostly would be a Bobcat , Fox or Coyotes . Which it’s never happened but rabies is something I worry about. I carry a walking stick. I did startle a bunch of big turkeys. They look so dumb when they take off flying.

I’m so sorry that your daughter won’t communicate with you I hate that for you. Maybe one day you will hear from her unexpectedly.

I’m glad your tree is coming in with leaves. There is something about new leaves that just makes me smile. I suppose I think of Spring coming back into my life. A welcome gift.

How’s Sidney? Any luck getting glucose levels in a good range? It can be a struggle.

Take care of you !

When did you last do something just for you ??

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Default Mar 17, 2022 at 11:51 PM
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I walked today. I only worry about a wild animal causing me a problem. Mostly would be a Bobcat , Fox or Coyotes . Which it’s never happened but rabies is something I worry about. I carry a walking stick. I did startle a bunch of big turkeys. They look so dumb when they take off flying.

I’m so sorry that your daughter won’t communicate with you I hate that for you. Maybe one day you will hear from her unexpectedly.

I’m glad your tree is coming in with leaves. There is something about new leaves that just makes me smile. I suppose I think of Spring coming back into my life. A welcome gift.

How’s Sidney? Any luck getting glucose levels in a good range? It can be a struggle.

Take care of you !

When did you last do something just for you ??

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Thank you for your post, Christina. It made me smile. We have turkeys right here in town, they walk from house to house, pecking at the lawns. They sleep up in trees. They're a sight! Last year a lady was chased by a turkey, she said it tried to bite her - and she tried to sue the city! Of course, she didn't get anywhere with that.

It's smart to walk with a stick when there are wild animals in the area.

Yes, one day I will hear from my daughter. That will be a miraculous day for me. Thank you for your kindness.

Patience, patience with Sidney. Her dose has to be increased by teeny increments. But, although her glucose has been on the high side, it has remained in a stable range.

Love to you, my friend

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Default Mar 18, 2022 at 02:21 AM
  #817
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Hey ! I’m glad you have a trip planned. I’m sure it will be enjoyable. What a gift your Dad having such a birthday.

I hate when my husband comes with when I am grocery shopping he’s very much a impulse shopper especially snack foods. I try to go when he’s already doing something else.

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Thanks, Christina! My dad sounded quite happy about my coming.

Yes, what you said Steve does is definitely part of my husband's behavior (impulse purchases). Also, he has his extremes that I guess are on the lower end of perhaps the OCD spectrum. For example, he would buy 30 boxes of Kleenex. Store clerks would even comment about them. Also, he always wanders off elsewhere hard to find. The stores never seem to have phone signals, so I end up having to search for the dude. As I am a methodical shopper, that pisses me off. Duplicate purchases are also common. As I am the sole cook of the household, it's frustrating to find foods in the cart that I had no plans for.

Czech Republic doesn't have many dangerous animals, especially not to dogs or people. A local hawk has killed a couple of our local birds. There are foxes here. Bears only in the remotest wilderness. New Jersey, on the other hand, has these, plus the occasional wild cat or bear. Wild cats are more in northern Jersey, but bears show themselves all over central Jersey, even in the suburbs. My husband has a real fear of bears, even beyond the usual fear.

There's a very cute Czech song from the 1970s, that all Czechs know, about a bear. The lyrics tell the story about tourists going into the woods for a hike, then encountering the bear. The bear scares them all off, steals their cameras, transistor radios, and clogs. Then the bear goes to town and sells them for money to buy peanuts, raspberries, and honey. If interested, the video with song is at
The Czech word for "bear" is "medvedi" with "med" meaning "honey". So, they are "honey animals".

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Last edited by Soupe du jour; Mar 18, 2022 at 02:51 AM..
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Default Mar 18, 2022 at 05:49 AM
  #818
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I Accidentally spilled hot coffee on my arm during work training today and sustained second degree burns. The blisters were huuuuuuuuge
Owwwww! One Easter I was Boiling carrots and I dropped the whole pot of boiling water. I jumped back but not before some hit my stomach and thigh. Omg the pain was just terrible.

Take care of your wounds, one of mine got infected :-/ totally my fault for touching it too much. Keep them covered with anti bacterial ointment and bandaids or those nonstick gauze pads for a couple of days. I didn’t do that and my dr made me go to the ER because of the severity of the apparent infection.

I hope you feel better!

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Default Mar 18, 2022 at 05:51 AM
  #819
I don’t want to take my morning meds. I’m sick of all of them. No more pills.

That is all.

(I am going to take them eventually this morning when I stop being mad about it, don’t worry).

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Default Mar 18, 2022 at 07:22 AM
  #820
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I had a wretched day taking my dog to the vet on the bus. It was for her rabies shot and other routine work and i expected it to be about $600. But the vet wanted to do complete blood and urine tests since she had that diabetes scare recently. That turned out to be an extra $400 so in total it was $1000. So that was discouraging.

I felt down about it all day and from the stress of four bus rides with my dog in the mild but filthy March weather. It took a while to unwind. But just now i took a break in my bedroom and huggled and snuggled with my dog on my bed and enjoyed her luxurious fur which she will only have for a few more days as she is getting groomed on Monday. Another ordeal but i will have my one close neighbor with me so it won't be so bad and just $100 and we'll go in style in her car.

Everything's so much harder with this mild depression. It just casts a shadow over everything. Beware those of you considering pets: it's expensive and care is an ordeal if you're depressed.

But i got it done! I guess that's something!

Thankfully we don’t have rabies here…. That’s a lot of money for a shot! I’m impressed though that you’re allowed to take a dog on a bus.
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