[arich62]

Earlier this month, got the shock of my life to date when I moved my sister out of state and while at a hotel and not seeing her at checkout time, became concerned, left my cell phone number with the desk and got the news 3-4 hours later. Medical examiner said it looked like natural causes, most likely heart failure and that my sister has been deceased about 24 hours.

I tried to help her all that I could, over the past 3-4 years that I spent living closer to her. It was obvious that she had some kind of condition, she could get very manic sounding at times, repeated talking about the same thing over and over for hours at a time, without ever even catching her breath. It was exhausting to try to listen to and to follow. I mentioned about a year and a half ago, some of my personal issues to try to get her to talk about hers - so she could get the right help. She did suspect something wrong with herself. But too stubborn and prideful I suppose to seek help.

I told the Medical examiner in Albuquerque, NM (where she passed) that I thought she could have been bipolar but was never diagnosed, seen or treated for it to the best of my knowledge. It was just the way that she presented herself, day to day and being difficult to understand, to those of us who knew her close (her oldest daughter suspected the same thing)The ME told me that it is
pretty common for manic personalities to die at an earlier age from heart failure if left untreated.

This was just really sad for me. I have dealt with two deaths this month (another on my wife's side) where these were situations where each life could have been prolonged if treated early enought. The other was a 26 year old nephew dying from complications that arose from heavy drinking over the years.
But with my sister, I wish I could have done more to help her In the past year we did grow closer, I believe that we began to respect each other and trust each more, after our conversations from a year ago. I continue to grieve.

[Sunflower123]

I’m am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences on both of your losses. You were a loving sibling who did what you could do.

[tentoedsloth]

It sounds to me, too, that you did enough. It may never seem like enough to you, but you did a lot.

My brother committed suicide at the age of 65, about 5 years ago. He had mood problems and became an alcoholic and a drug addict. We had lots of interpersonal problems, but I am so glad that the last things I said to him were kind ones, and offering to help him with a problem he'd gotten into. Thank God I made that call, 3 days before he died. He refused the help but he seemed to appreciate the offer.

Please take comfort in the things you did for her. I don't think you can really save anybody who doesn't want to be saved or have the strength to take the steps to save themselves. She had the freedom to choose. And I think she knew you were available to help.

[Pinny]

Im so sorry for your losses

Its so tragic to lose someone close to you .
Sending lots of hugs your way

Originally Posted by tentoedsloth

I don't think you can really save anybody who doesn't want to be saved...

And I really agree with this!

[*Beth*]

I lost my sister, whom I adored, almost 4 years ago. She died from cancer, but....she had used drugs for several decades. I firmly believe she had a mental illness that was never diagnosed. To me, losing my sibling felt like I lost a part of my own body.

It definitely sounds like you have done so much for your sister. Clearly, you loved her. I am very, very sorry for your sad loss.

[RoxanneToto]

I’m so, so sorry for your losses. It’s natural to feel like you didn’t do enough and blame yourself, but it’s really not your fault; you couldn’t control your sister’s actions or choices. I know that doesn’t take the pain away, though. I don’t know too much about bipolar except that it looks difficult to live with as a mental health condition, even when treated sometimes (I don’t mean any offence to anyone who has bipolar; I’m just an outsider looking in who happens to have had two relatives with it).
I do know it likely contributed to my biological mother dying, about 9 years ago. The verdict was she didn’t mean to take her own life, but they couldn’t actually say 100% either way, and it was tragic, regardless.

[MuddyBoots]

My condolences

[arich62]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I lost my sister, whom I adored, almost 4 years ago. She died from cancer, but....she had used drugs for several decades. I firmly believe she had a mental illness that was never diagnosed. To me, losing my sibling felt like I lost a part of my own body.

It definitely sounds like you have done so much for your sister. Clearly, you loved her. I am very, very sorry for your sad loss.

Thank you for responding. It's been a tough six weeks. I tried to get my sister to get help for herself and according to my mom, my sister was finally exploring being bipolar the last two months of her life but she was also terribly thin and that, along with frequent anxious talking had to take it's toll on her heart.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by arich62

Thank you for responding. It's been a tough six weeks. I tried to get my sister to get help for herself and according to my mom, my sister was finally exploring being bipolar the last two months of her life but she was also terribly thin and that, along with frequent anxious talking had to take it's toll on her heart.

Yes, it surely was. I'm so sorry.