Bipolar check-in #64

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gary290

Hi BethRags, Sorry for delay. It’s been a weird few days and I tend to isolate. Thank you for asking. There was only one aggressive driver that tailgated me on the way home. It was a good learning experience.

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That's great. Good for you for using the experience to learn

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinny

So Ive spread my covid germs to my fiancé and to my sister. Eeek! But they're both well and have little symptoms at the moment. My sister is a heavy smoker /vaper though so I'm a little worried.

My mood is still alright, getting there but Im back to feeling very tired. Im hoping that is just the covid and not the hypersomnia.
Im having problems with my mum and dad, they're in this totally dysfunctional relationship and only see each other two or three times a year and when they do they fight and fight and fight. Its so toxic and its not good for me to be around either. My dad is home for this week and its just been awful.
Im only staying here until we find a new house as we sold our house earlier this year. But its so hard! I really appreciate the fact that they have let me stay with my dog, but they manage to make every moment some complaint about the dog ((he's not that bad, I promise)).

Anyway, you are all in my thoughts, especially if you are having a rough time just now. I hope things will get better for you! Thank you so much to you all for all of your support

I'm so sorry about your parents arguing and also about them complaining about your pup. It all sounds terribly stressful. Be good when you can live on your own, I think.

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

That's great about Sidney!

That's so frustrating about your pdoc. I have the opposite problem with mine: I ask to go off a med- like Zyprexa- and she says no. Ugh. It takes a big problem on my end to get her to take me off a med. She had upped my Seroquel to 300 last September which dried my eyes and mouth out and gave me 7 cavities at once- I couldn't wear my contacts. It took being IP to get me off the Seroquel. Now I'm on Haldol and it's working just fine.

Here's something...I have seen right around 35 pdocs in my life and something I have discovered is that when I WANT to go off a med they often refuse. When I ASK for a med, or a med increase, they seldom agree. Perhaps one way to reach my pdoc on Tuesday is to *insist* that I come off Lamictal (which I'd like to, but I'm quite sure she'll disagree). Then she'll probably agree to the Gaba increase.

I have found that many psychiatrists are weirdos. And power-trippers.

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Holy cow! I just picked up the tablets and instructions for my ambien. He actually increased it a bit but I’m supposed to cut these tiny little pills in half! They are tiny! I’ve already on my own gone down to 15 mg when he has me on 22.5 mg. Tiny doses changes. This is going to take a long time to get off of!

Are they even aware of such things as how hard it is to cut a tiny pill?!?!

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I feel dozey. I didn't get up until 11:30 this morning and now it's only 6 and I could totally take a nap. But I'm also hungry so I think I'll eat dinner and stay up at least another couple hours.

I went out today and put my leftover cash from the trip back into my account. I also checked the mail at my mom's house: her neighbors never got the mail the whole time I was gone! The box was full! Not good. The way the box is, the lid goes up and down so when there's a significant amount of mail in there you can tell nobody's gotten the mail for days and therefore the people who live there might not be home.

Off to eat more chicken. I got one of those precooked rotisserie chickens which I rarely do. They're a tad salty but they're a decent meal.

How irresponsible of the neighbors!!

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 07:01 PM

Jane, how are you doing?

Fuzzybear · Mar 30, 2022 at 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Here's something...I have seen right around 35 pdocs in my life and something I have discovered is that when I WANT to go off a med they often refuse. When I ASK for a med, or a med increase, they seldom agree. Perhaps one way to reach my pdoc on Tuesday is to *insist* that I come off Lamictal (which I'd like to, but I'm quite sure she'll disagree). Then she'll probably agree to the Gaba increase.

I have found that many psychiatrists are weirdos. And power-trippers.

I haven't seen nearly as many pdocs. But my experiences have not been good. I've found them to be power-trippers too.

Yeah... that could work.... I hope she does agree to the Gaba increase.

Moose72 · Mar 30, 2022 at 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

How irresponsible of the neighbors!!

I know, right? I have no idea what their excuses are. (The neighbors on both sides were supposed to help I think.)

Moose72 · Mar 30, 2022 at 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Here's something...I have seen right around 35 pdocs in my life and something I have discovered is that when I WANT to go off a med they often refuse. When I ASK for a med, or a med increase, they seldom agree. Perhaps one way to reach my pdoc on Tuesday is to *insist* that I come off Lamictal (which I'd like to, but I'm quite sure she'll disagree). Then she'll probably agree to the Gaba increase.

I have found that many psychiatrists are weirdos. And power-trippers.

It's too bad that we have to play mind games with our pdoc's to get what we need.

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I haven't seen nearly as many pdocs. But my experiences have not been good. I've found them to be power-trippers too.

Yeah... that could work.... I hope she does agree to the Gaba increase.

Thank you, Fuzzy dear. I actually think I have a strategy.

I'm feeling quite disgusted with mental health "providers."

*Beth* · Mar 30, 2022 at 07:50 PM

I'm feeling jaded today. That's a feeling I do not like and don't allow myself to get immersed in. Jaded is just too close to bitter. I am going to watch a few music videos. Maybe that will help my crummy state of mind.

Moose72 · Mar 30, 2022 at 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm feeling jaded today. That's a feeling I do not like and don't allow myself to get immersed in. Jaded is just too close to bitter. I am going to watch a few music videos. Maybe that will help my crummy state of mind.

Sounds like a plan!

Nammu · Mar 30, 2022 at 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm feeling jaded today. That's a feeling I do not like and don't allow myself to get immersed in. Jaded is just too close to bitter. I am going to watch a few music videos. Maybe that will help my crummy state of mind.

I have five movies I watch when I feel crummy. They are all fantasy to some degree and great escapes from reality. Enjoy your music videos.

gary290 · Mar 30, 2022 at 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo

I had a rough and depressing day. I had to meet up with a lawyer to work on my wife's stuff then I had to go to the corners office to request her autopsy report and toxicology report. That was real hard I am surprised that I was able to make it in there. I waited till I got in my truck to cry. I still wake up hoping it was all a nightmare but it's not. I am more depressed the last 3 or 4 weeks compared to the month before but I think I was just numb those days. Reality really set in when I had that death certificate in my hand. I did read it but that took a few days before I could look at it. I really hate this and u don't wish this on my worst enemy. Thank you everyone in here your support means the world to me.

My little dog has not been feeling good since last week. I don't know how long he will it make cause he has a heart condition and it is getting worse. My other dog is like 15 and blind and if I am not home she has panic attacks and will go hide in my bath tub cause the noises she hears scares her. I will probably have to put her down soon. Boy when it rains it pours. I don't know if I can handle this but I will give it my best shot.

I really want a cigarette but I have not smoked since Dec.18th and I won't start again cause it was really hard to quit this time. I'm ready to run away.
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I’m so sorry. It sounds like tremendous suffering.

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BeyondtheRainbow · Mar 30, 2022 at 10:45 PM

Guys, I'm scared. I dread the biopsy tomorrow and then I have to wait for pathology results. Again. And I just have a bad feeling. Something about needing 3 biopsies doesn't sound good to me. And while my chances of cancer thus far are low they are there and the likelihood varies widely depending who you listen to. I was fine with one biopsy; I was sure that would be fine. I've gotten more anxious about it over biopsy 2 and 3 and the need for surgical removal of the lesion(s).

I just am so afraid of this. To make it worse I know that I have to lie face down on a table with my breasts hanging through a hole and being compressed from below for over an hour during the biopsy. When I had this before it was in a chair. But this place does it differently, probably for good reason. It does not sound fun. My pdoc told me it's not fun (she's had breast cancer so has been through all of this).

I just need to focus on this will be done soon. By tomorrow night I'll probably be asleep as stress and numbing tends to wind me up and then knock me out.

Thanks for listening over the last months. Otroo and any other man reading all this I'm so sorry. My poor therapist is a man and we've spent hours discussing breasts and things about breasts for months now. That's been interesting sometimes.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 31, 2022 at 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Guys, I'm scared. I dread the biopsy tomorrow and then I have to wait for pathology results. Again. And I just have a bad feeling. Something about needing 3 biopsies doesn't sound good to me. And while my chances of cancer thus far are low they are there and the likelihood varies widely depending who you listen to. I was fine with one biopsy; I was sure that would be fine. I've gotten more anxious about it over biopsy 2 and 3 and the need for surgical removal of the lesion(s).

I just am so afraid of this. To make it worse I know that I have to lie face down on a table with my breasts hanging through a hole and being compressed from below for over an hour during the biopsy. When I had this before it was in a chair. But this place does it differently, probably for good reason. It does not sound fun. My pdoc told me it's not fun (she's had breast cancer so has been through all of this).

I just need to focus on this will be done soon. By tomorrow night I'll probably be asleep as stress and numbing tends to wind me up and then knock me out.

Thanks for listening over the last months. Otroo and any other man reading all this I'm so sorry. My poor therapist is a man and we've spent hours discussing breasts and things about breasts for months now. That's been interesting sometimes.

]

beyond im so sorry youre feeling so scared. its the worst. ill be your pocket rider. just imagine me with you!

BeyondtheRainbow · Mar 31, 2022 at 12:50 AM

Thanks Hallie. You made me teary. I will remember you holding my hand while I do this. I even slept for a while. My cat came and settled in on my lap and I slept until I needed the bathroom. I'll go back to sleep now. I hope. I also hope Abbycat will return. She's comforting.

Soupe du jour · Mar 31, 2022 at 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Are they even aware of such things as how hard it is to cut a tiny pill?!?!

@BethRags and @Nammu, I discovered a while back that some docs have zero idea what any of the actual pills look like, especially generic versions. Most don't have such distinctive looks as brand Lamictal.

Soupe du jour · Mar 31, 2022 at 02:05 AM

@BeyondtheRainbow, I hope the day goes by quickly with a positive outcome. Sending positive vibes that it does. No matter what the outcome, breast cancer survival has seemed remarkably increased over the decades. I know of several women who had it and they all survived.

Soupe du jour · 09:07 AM

OMG! I'm now a blond!

Hubby had wanted me to go lighter haired and the last 3 times it was gradually lightened, but today it is lighter than I expected ever going. I'm a little unsure about it, frankly. I can say that this is as light as it will go. Future times will just be coloring roots and hair cut. If I don't start to like it, it will be colored medium auburn next time or some hint of red...or light brown. I know that suits me well. It's not Hubby's favorite, but it won't matter. No one in my family is/was blond except in early youth. There were some slight red heads.

Update: This has been a scary hour. I totally had no clue what was going on. Apparently my hair was bleached before a new color was added. It's darker now. Relief! I confess I had been on the verge of tears before. See how ignorant I am about certain hair stuff?

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Bipolar check-in #64

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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 5 23.7k hugs given	Mar 30, 2022 at 07:01 PM #226 Jane, how are you doing? __________________

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 5 23.7k hugs given	Mar 30, 2022 at 07:50 PM #231 I'm feeling jaded today. That's a feeling I do not like and don't allow myself to get immersed in. Jaded is just too close to bitter. I am going to watch a few music videos. Maybe that will help my crummy state of mind. __________________