Bipolar check-in #64

Glad it’s over.

Now is time to take extra good care of yourself. Love you

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This is great news, BethRags! I hope this really works out for you. Good for you for taking such a step.

Checking in. I was on the phone with my best friend yesterday when I heard my highly aggressive sister outside yelling at my mom. I should have known to get off the phone then. She came in and yelled at me to stop talking to my best friend and not to talk to him ever again and to clean the room I was in. How dare she?!? My friends are my business. She was way out of line and was totally inappropriate. She then demanded to know how long I had been talking to him that day.

She also isn’t living in a 4 bedroom house with two incontinent, mentally impaired people and trying to keep all the balls in the air. She occasionally brings a meal over and that’s it! When she comes at me like that I don’t engage with her. It only devolves into a screaming match where nobody wins.

I got on Amazon and bought a book with 365 words and phrases for dealing with difficult people. I’ve had just about enough.

I was having a bad day yesterday. Therapy was tough and I was physically under the weather. I tried to drive my brother to the doctor but he wouldn’t go in without me and I wasn’t well.

I’m feeling better today but my sister really made me angry and embarrassed me in front of my friend. Throwing my hands up.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

feeling quite anxious

basically over the fact I have 2 coppies of the same dvd, and finding it hard to throw one of them away

then finding it weird that I have 2 coppies even to begin with

It’s a stormy morning; heavy rain and wind. Electricity went out. My dog max had to be medicated because he has terrible storm anxiety.

Feeling apprehensive about the day even though I have no appointments scheduled. I typically enjoy stormy days, but just feeling exposed and vulnerable this morning.

Depression: 6 out of 10
Anxiety: 6
No mania
No SI/HI

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I crashed last night after 40mil of melatonin at one time and being up since 11PM the night before. I couldn't even put my headphones in, I just fell asleep from 6 until 2:30. I have no idea what happened about anything and I don't care. I woke up at first super anxious and with an upset stomach but then I started feeling pretty good after I had woken up more. I noticed a text from my mom that she had sent when I had fallen asleep and I do not need another phelobotomy procedure right now. I just need to repeat the blood test in 4 weeks. I am so happy because the idea of possibly needing another one was just really getting to me mentally and was probably why I was so ornery yesterday. I'm hoping to hear back from my endocronolgist today about the testosterone. I wouldn't be suprised if the blood level shot back up in 4 weeks and then I'd need another procedure. Its been lowered just to go up again in the past. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there and just be happy now that I don't need another one immediatly. My anxiety is still kinda sucky though. I had to drag myself out to Sams Club for protein shakes, Slim Fasts, and smoothies because I knew I wouldn't want to be out at all this weekend and I needed that stuff. Some guy gave me a weird look when I was getting all the protein drinks and it wasn't an evil look but more of a confused, why are you buying weight loss products, look. Either way it made me uncomfortable and I just hurried along. I also stopped at the asian market, one of the places I'm the most comfortable at because its smaller and its never busy. I got some honey butter Lays chips and a couple ice cream bars. I came home and took a valium and ate some london broil from last night and now I'm just waiting for my doctor to call back with any type of info. I really want to get back on this and I see no issue if the level is now normal. So hopefully he calls. I just got a call from my blood doctor confirming those results. So thats good. My next appointment with her is on the 18th and my next lab work is on the 20th.

Went to bed at 11:30 slept well but my alarm went off at 5:15 so I could sign up for aqua fitness ( I’m on the wait list, so I’ll have to try 4:55am) and take out the garbage. Never did get back to sleep. So I’m tired

Jennifer I’m so sorry about your sister.

Gary

No more ******** from this day forth. Sobriety only. My T was definitely right when she said maybe a med change is in order and that I was paranoid. I've been taking my PRN 3x a day (max dose) and it's already helping a bit.

edit: Okay, sobriety starts tomorrow...

At psyd ‘s office waiting to see him. We’ve been doing virtual since last year. It’ll be odd

I just wrote this month's appointments on my dry erase calendar on the fridge. I have a mammogram Monday- which my email's calendar told me was today at 1 and I freaked out because it was 1:15 when I saw the reminder email. Luckily I called and they said no it's on Monday. Whew! I don't know how I had it for the wrong day. I have an appointment almost every day next week including the dentist and mammogram and asthma check up. I also see my case manager and pdoc. Speaking of, I saw an ad on the side of a bus today at the grocery store that said "Mental health is health" and had the phone number of my pdoc's office on it! I hope I can make it to all these appointments on time this coming week!

How was it?

I hope you get a nap or at least go to bed earlier.

Wow, that sounds like a really busy week of appointments @Moose72 ! I hope they all go as well as possible!
And that's really fortunate about your mammogram appointment being on Monday and not today!
I hope everything goes well!

It sounds like you're going through a really challenging time @Sapien , I hope things work out as well as possible for you! Stay strong and hang in there! You have a lot of people around you who care about you!

Im glad you got the call from your blood doctor, and that's great about the results, here's hoping the next ones are good too! Sending you lots of hugs @Mountaindewed

Aww poor Max, Im so sorry @gary290 I hope his anxiety settled. And I hope you feel a little better about today!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour This is great news, BethRags! I hope this really works out for you. Good for you for taking such a step.

Thank you for your encouragement, Soupe

Im still testing positive but I actually feel fine now. I had a loooooong chat with my sister and Mum about our living situation and I think things are a lot better now. We needed to communicate and look at the situation from each others perspectives. My dog really stresses my mum out because he's young and a little boisterous.
Anyway, we decided that we're going to go away on a little trip just the three of us. My fiancé is going to look after my dog to give my mum a break from him . It should be lovely - we found this little cottage on the coast, which overlooks straight out to the sea. It looks so pretty. And vast! I feel really bad that I can't take my dog, but I think it will be good for my fiancé to bond with him, plus its only for three nights.
I hoe everyone has a lovely lovely sleep! Im sending loads of hugs and positive thoughts to each and every one of you. Thank you so much for your support!

Oh @BethRags Im so glad you're applying for a new pdoc!! That is great news! I hope you are doing ok today, let us know how you are!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 .....Speaking of, I saw an ad on the side of a bus today at the grocery store that said "Mental health is health" and had the phone number of my pdoc's office on it! .....

That is hilarious

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinny Im still testing positive but I actually feel fine now. I had a loooooong chat with my sister and Mum about our living situation and I think things are a lot better now. We needed to communicate and look at the situation from each others perspectives. My dog really stresses my mum out because he's young and a little boisterous. Anyway, we decided that we're going to go away on a little trip just the three of us. My fiancé is going to look after my dog to give my mum a break from him . It should be lovely - we found this little cottage on the coast, which overlooks straight out to the sea. It looks so pretty. And vast! I feel really bad that I can't take my dog, but I think it will be good for my fiancé to bond with him, plus its only for three nights. I hoe everyone has a lovely lovely sleep! Im sending loads of hugs and positive thoughts to each and every one of you. Thank you so much for your support!

Ohhh, that cottage sounds amazing!

Great! very helpful

Oh I hate driving especially on a Friday afternoon. People are in such a rush. I chant to myself “I’m not in a hurry” to keep others rudeness and hurry keep me from getting uptight. There was a one day sale at the grocery store and I think everyone was taking advantage of it. The place you pull up for them to bring groceries was non-stop. They had soda on sale so I have soda again. The palettes of water weren’t on sale but I took advantage of them doing all the heavy lifting and got two. I’m still wound up from the driving though the only place I got out of the car was at the tax preparation where I just had to drop off the documents. Breathe 🧘*♂️

I restarted my Adderall today. I think it is for the best. I have to just get used to being on a controlled substance. It's too beneficial to my overall well being to dismiss.

You’re sister is horrible to think she can treat you this way. I don’t know why people think it’s okay to be so ugly.

Stay strong ! You always do so well with pro active self care

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