Bipolar check-in #64

Fuzzybear · Mar 26, 2022 at 07:03 AM

Yeah. Medical stuff

I had an appointment a long time ago somewhere where the people were very sick. I will not say more as it's triggering and depressing to me. It was a big screw up by the GP. Very scary. (how dare I speak my truth

....The fathers voice again..

Fuzzybear · Mar 26, 2022 at 07:04 AM

Bad Fuzzy

I have posted twice in a row. How dare I be so greedy.

unlived · Mar 26, 2022 at 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Yesterday went well but I got some pretty bad post op procedure depression right after. It went away as soon as I woke up, but I was tired and dizzy all day today like I was told I would be. Donating blood because you want to is one thing. Donating blood because its medically necessary is completely diffrent. I got there on time and I got taken back and the set up was as I expected. A row of recliners lined up with curtains seperating them with a nurses station in the middle. Most of the people were in their 70's-90's on IVs and using walkers. The youngest people looked to be in their early 60s. A lot were there for chemo treatments I assume. I looked way out of place. The nurse put me in a corner recliner which I was glad. She had a lot of trouble getting a vein and finally a second nurse had to take over. She found a vein but on an odd angle. Which meant she had to stay with me the whole time to hold the tube so the blood would flow properly. The bag of blood was behind me so I couldn't see it. We made small talk. Mostly about our cats. She asked why I was there. I expained the high blood level but didn't go into detail. I didn't tell her I was trans. I had my Adidas pride hat on I try to wear to my medical appointments. I have no idea if she knew or not but its not something I share with anyone in real life. My vein went dry but they got enough blood. Almost instantly after, I got nauseated. After 15 minutes the first nurse checked my vitals again. I asked her if nausea was normal. She said not really and asked if I wanted to stay longer. I told her I really wanted to go home. She asked if I drove myself. I said my mom was in the waiting room. She said oh good. Then walked me out. I collected my mom and ignored the lady who was giving us a sympathetic look and I went home and got into bed for the rest of the day. It was just a physically and emotionally draining ordeal. Plus being around all those cancer patients was sad too. A very old lady on an IV 2 recliners away from me dropped her styfroam cup and I so badly wanted to go pick it up for her but I was already reclined and I didn't want to get into trouble. Luckily she was able to reach it herself. I really hope my level is normal when I get it tested next week so I don't have to repeat this again. Today I just watched TV. Our new furnace was in which took all day to set up.

How much do you need to drop levels wise? I don’t know your system there but here our levels are meant to be over 100 and under 70 you need a blood transfusion. I don’t know what the measurements are in but anyway what I’m saying this for is that each bag of blood brings you up 10 points / numbers so I’m assuming it should bring you down the same? If you knew your numbers you might be able to work it out.

Fuzzybear · Mar 26, 2022 at 07:13 AM

Medical stuff

Ugh. Sorry to be such a *****. I just hate posting about it. That is just me personally. I guess I'm ''just a freak''..

It just increases my anxiety. Even if I tell a close friend it doesn't help....

Mountaindewed · Mar 26, 2022 at 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unlived

How much do you need to drop levels wise? I don’t know your system there but here our levels are meant to be over 100 and under 70 you need a blood transfusion. I don’t know what the measurements are in but anyway what I’m saying this for is that each bag of blood brings you up 10 points / numbers so I’m assuming it should bring you down the same? If you knew your numbers you might be able to work it out.

I just know my hematrict number was 49 the last time it was tested and it needs to be below 45. I don't know what level is considered too little. When I was on my hormones my level was at 46 or 47. Then when I got off them and was tested 3 weeks later thats when it went up to 49.

MuddyBoots · Mar 26, 2022 at 09:34 AM

I sent my giant packet for medicaid in the mail today. No way could I have fit all the paperwork in the tiny little envelope they gave me. I have a phone interview next week for SSI. I know I was freaking out about it but now I realize what I have control over and what I don't and I'm working on doing what I need to do in terms of what I can control and not worrying about what I can't. It's manageable.

I had chinese last night to celebrate my year drug/alcohol free. Soo expensive ($60 for me, my dad and both our SOs) but soo good.

I have a gynecology appointment monday. My period's lasted 26 days so far. I just switched from the arm implant to an IUD and this is my first period in 4 years so I'm assuming that's why. I could deal without the cramps though

Sending hugs all around. Stay gold my peeps

Fuzzybear · Mar 26, 2022 at 10:17 AM

Congratulations on a year drug/alchohol free. That's huge!

I love chinese food

Grrr at the very long period, that sucks!

One of my medical things is super sensitive nipples to the point of a GP saying she has never seen anything like that before (it's caused me a lot of difficulties, I can't wear bras, sex is painful and other stuff..) She referred me to a breast clinic. Fortunately after talking to Papa bear I realised what it probably was (the referral wasn't necessary) Sorry if tmi, that is one of the few medical things I don't find too triggering and grrr to even write about. I managed to avoid a scary appointment that wasn't even necessary.

Papa bear and I had a celebration meal a few days ago to celebrate the result of a medical stuff thing. The liquid refreshment was reduced (supermarket sale) but still expensive. The result was a week ago (good result) and I think my anxiety is maybe a bit better (after a whole week).

Sending hugs back

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapien

I sent my giant packet for medicaid in the mail today. No way could I have fit all the paperwork in the tiny little envelope they gave me. I have a phone interview next week for SSI. I know I was freaking out about it but now I realize what I have control over and what I don't and I'm working on doing what I need to do in terms of what I can control and not worrying about what I can't. It's manageable.

I had chinese last night to celebrate my year drug/alcohol free. Soo expensive ($60 for me, my dad and both our SOs) but soo good.

I have a gynecology appointment monday. My period's lasted 26 days so far. I just switched from the arm implant to an IUD and this is my first period in 4 years so I'm assuming that's why. I could deal without the cramps though

Sending hugs all around. Stay gold my peeps

gary290 · Mar 26, 2022 at 10:45 AM

Hello • I’m really stressed about having to drive an hour away for appointment late this afternoon. I typically make morning appointments because of afternoon fatigue (due to heart failure and meds). It’s really frustrating. But I have to do what I have to do, I guess.

bizi · 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gary290

Hello • I’m really stressed about having to drive an hour away for appointment late this afternoon. I typically make morning appointments because of afternoon fatigue (due to heart failure and meds). It’s really frustrating. But I have to do what I have to do, I guess.

Be careful on the roads go slow and drive in the right lane. Use your cruise control and that way you don't have to worry about getting pulled over.
good luck this afternoon.
bizi

Mountaindewed · 12:53 PM

Theres not much going on today. I slept decently. I woke up with my arm wrapped around the plugged in extension cord with a couple chargers plugged in it around 10PM which was a bit freaky. It was on my bed since my phone was charging. But I got up at my normal time and took a shower and drank a few sodas and ate a couple tuna packets and watched TV in the family room. My moods and anxiety are under control today. I feel much better physically then I did Thursday and yesterday and I've been out of bed and my room all day. I don't have to do laundry today I just have to fill up my med box for next week. Thats the only chore that needs to be done today. I've been saving money since I don't feel like ever going out and I don't eat much of anything so I don't buy too many groceries. I would though like to get out on Monday and go out shopping and out to eat.

My mom just texted me and asked if I wanted to go out to eat with my sister and her family. I said no I just ate so I wasn't hungry. She was with them at some Cub scout thing. Man do I sound like some debbie downer ED food phobia person. But it is technically true. I did just eat a weight watchers TV dinner and I chugged a bottle of water. So I am not hungry. Plus its rude anyways to not go to the scout thing but to have my brother in law pay for a meal for me.

gary290 · Mar 26, 2022 at 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

Be careful on the roads go slow and drive in the left lane. Use your cruise control and that way you don't have to worry about getting pulled over.
good luck this afternoon.
bizi

Thank you so much! Good advice.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Mar 26, 2022 at 12:50 PM

@Moose72:

I'm sorry to hear you are not enjoying your adventure as much as you'd hoped. I'm 55 and i had a similar experience last year when in a wild and impractical mood i decided to attend a fun craft-making special event in the city in an area not known to me. Well, it turned out to be a real fiasco getting there and back, i think it was eight buses all told and i was so stressed-out and exhausted and disoriented i threw the craft away.

Like you, i enjoyed adventures when i was young. But like you my lower back and feet were so sore and i was so full of anxiety and disoriented that it was just a bad memory. I've accepted that the time in my life for adventures has passed and that quiet calm days at home are what i enjoy now. I rarely go out of the neighborhood. I'm fat and out-of-shape. The wheelchair sounds like a good way of making the best of the rest of your activity.

*Beth* · Mar 26, 2022 at 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I have a surgery dateu! April 25. 2 months after my original planned surgery date. So I have my biopsy Thursday and then Friday a phone call with financial services and then sometime the next week I have pre-op and a meeting with anesthesia is included in that. They spoke to anesthesia and no problems are anticipated with my MAOI.

So it looks like I may actually happen this time. I won't believe it until I'm in an OR but it looks hopeful. That will be 4 months and change since the mammogram that started all this.

I watched my pre-procedure educational video today. I learned nothing. After this long I have learned plenty on my own.

I will be so glad to be done with this. Or I hope to be done with this at least. I won't know for sure for a while yet. But I have a date and that's huge.

Oh, I'm so glad! Having a scheduled surgery date feels so much more secure.

*Beth* · Mar 26, 2022 at 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I was thinking earlier on today... I hate anxiety.

Today I feel a bit angry which is a big improvement to the severe anxiety. I also have more energy.

I'm wearing a pretty dress today (lately I've been wearing a black skirt and an old shirt ...) Definite improvement.

I was ''conditioned'' as a cub that buying anything pretty for my self was a felony and terminally selfish. I should have spent my tiny amount of money on buying the mother a teapot. Which she DID NOT NEED (or even want) ... she didn't want me either.
I'm such a terrible person...

Be gone vile garbage lies ....

The sun is shining and Papa bear has been tending to the (other) flowers

I wish I could see your pretty dress, Fuzzy

Mountaindewed · 04:53 PM

My mom isnt answering texts which is weird but she didnt answer a call and I'm not overly worried but that was an hour ago. I think I'll just have a protein shake for dinner. I'm not sure why I have felt like drinking my calories today.

And I just made a fool out of myself. I called my mom again and no answer. So then I did get worried and texted my sister. And she said they were fine and just finishing up lunch. I'm glad my mom is ok. I hope I wasn't too annoying but my aunt had a massive heart attack and died at a resturant in 2005 and that was what was running through my head. But its good though for my mom to spend some time with people other then me and my brother.

Ok. Maybe I did overly panic. I've had a lot of soda with caffeine and not much food today. But yesterday I said we needed someone big to die to distract us from the war and my mom said be careful what you wish for and I was wondering if I had done something super dumb. But I meant a celebrity not my mom.

My mom made it home and she stopped at Best Buy to pickup a new pair of $20 Apple plug in headphones (which I paid for). My old pair were just about dead I was just barely getting music out of one side and it was going in and out. She also picked up a small piece of wood because stand up mirrors are expensive but my $7 stick on mirror doesn't stick on my door so we got the $20 stand yesterday and put the piece of flat wood underneath it so it would be stable on the hardwood floor and we got the mirror on the stand and I now have a DIY stand up mirror. I keep thinking of that SNL skit The Califonians since thats what my mirror looks like.

Now all is well. Probably more because my meds are kicking in.

Moose72 · Mar 26, 2022 at 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@Moose72:

I'm sorry to hear you are not enjoying your adventure as much as you'd hoped. I'm 55 and i had a similar experience last year when in a wild and impractical mood i decided to attend a fun craft-making special event in the city in an area not known to me. Well, it turned out to be a real fiasco getting there and back, i think it was eight buses all told and i was so stressed-out and exhausted and disoriented i threw the craft away.

Like you, i enjoyed adventures when i was young. But like you my lower back and feet were so sore and i was so full of anxiety and disoriented that it was just a bad memory. I've accepted that the time in my life for adventures has passed and that quiet calm days at home are what i enjoy now. I rarely go out of the neighborhood. I'm fat and out-of-shape. The wheelchair sounds like a good way of making the best of the rest of your activity.

Thanks for this. I'd hate to think that not only an I not fit like I was when I practiced judo 3 times a week but now I can't walk?? Speaking of being 55, my mom turns 75 tomorrow and isn't having any issues with walking. I thought I wasn't this bad off at my age.

*Beth* · Mar 26, 2022 at 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gary290

Hello • I’m really stressed about having to drive an hour away for appointment late this afternoon. I typically make morning appointments because of afternoon fatigue (due to heart failure and meds). It’s really frustrating. But I have to do what I have to do, I guess.

How did it go, gary?

Sunflower123 · Mar 26, 2022 at 04:57 PM

Checking in. Hello all! It’s a beautiful, full sun 62 degree day here with heavy breeze. Delightful. I’ve been splitting my time between working on my to do list and reading in the sun.

My mood, motivation and energy levels are good.

My daughter is at least texting me. That is something. I’ll take it. The rest is in God’s hands.

Mom is sleeping more than she is awake. Her dementia is also more pronounced. She’ll be 87 in May. I’m a little concerned. I’m glad she is getting a physical soon. Brother is 6 feet tall and weighs 150. He’s dropped 15 pounds since January. Both are deteriorating. I’ve prepared myself for all possibilities. It’s unfortunate. I do think the stress of caring for them is causing my memory problems.

I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday.

Hugs to all.

Moose72 · Mar 26, 2022 at 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapien

I sent my giant packet for medicaid in the mail today. No way could I have fit all the paperwork in the tiny little envelope they gave me. I have a phone interview next week for SSI. I know I was freaking out about it but now I realize what I have control over and what I don't and I'm working on doing what I need to do in terms of what I can control and not worrying about what I can't. It's manageable.

I had chinese last night to celebrate my year drug/alcohol free. Soo expensive ($60 for me, my dad and both our SOs) but soo good.

I have a gynecology appointment monday. My period's lasted 26 days so far. I just switched from the arm implant to an IUD and this is my first period in 4 years so I'm assuming that's why. I could deal without the cramps though

Sending hugs all around. Stay gold my peeps

Sounds similar to what happened to me with the IUD but it had been 8 years since I'd had a period and I had very heavy bleeding . Which IUD are you getting?

~Christina · Mar 26, 2022 at 06:17 PM

Dealing with a terrible tooth ache. It’s possible it’s an infection. I got the crown on in February but at the time there was concern I might need a root canal as my tooth had a huge crack. But my dentist wanted to give it a try since everything is so expensive.

Anyway loads of tears and I’m tapping out on Tylenol, Aleve and ibuprofen every day.

I see my dentist Monday.

Hope everyone is doing well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Bipolar check-in #64

My Support Forums

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,420 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.4k hugs given	Mar 26, 2022 at 07:03 AM #21 Yeah. Medical stuff I had an appointment a long time ago somewhere where the people were very sick. I will not say more as it's triggering and depressing to me. It was a big screw up by the GP. Very scary. (how dare I speak my truth ....The fathers voice again.. __________________

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,420 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.4k hugs given	Mar 26, 2022 at 07:04 AM #22 Bad Fuzzy I have posted twice in a row. How dare I be so greedy. __________________

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,420 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.4k hugs given	Mar 26, 2022 at 07:13 AM #24 Medical stuff Ugh. Sorry to be such a *****. I just hate posting about it. That is just me personally. I guess I'm ''just a freak''.. It just increases my anxiety. Even if I tell a close friend it doesn't help.... __________________

gary290 Member Member Since May 2012 Location: Florida Posts: 326 12 121 hugs given	Mar 26, 2022 at 10:45 AM #28 Hello • I’m really stressed about having to drive an hour away for appointment late this afternoon. I typically make morning appointments because of afternoon fatigue (due to heart failure and meds). It’s really frustrating. But I have to do what I have to do, I guess. __________________ ________________ lemictal cymbalta trazedone bipolar I