[Victoria'smom]

So I'm making a cheat sheet for t. Of all my behavior's that probably should have gotten me hospitalized but we dealt with at home and didn't tell the psych team. And a run down of my history. I'm mainly concerned about what she'll think of me after and my relationship with my husband. I'm mostly worried that "gas lighting" is in my notes. And that's where she picked it up from. I have to ask tomorrow before handing her my phone with the "cheat sheet". It doesn't paint me in the best light. But it's honest. H says to trust her. It's time to either trust her or let her help someone else. Has anyone else made a "cheat sheet"? How did it go?

[bizi]

I think this a fine idea. Kind of a time line too.
Is hubby coming with you?
good luck
She may ask you to read aloud the sheet.
I have faith that you will be able to handle this meeting with her.
great thinking!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

No h is not going with me. I think if he went it wouldn't be appreciated. I need to be an adult and use my words. Easier said than done for me. I really want this to work out. I know I've only met her a couple of times.

[Victoria'smom]

Is there anything else I should add? Please don't quote will erase later tonight

[*Beth*]

I think that what you've expressed is excellent, clear, and so important to bring up in therapy. Thank you, Mm, for sharing what you've shared here. The only judgment I'm making is that you are amazingly, inspiringly, courageous. Please know that you are totally capable of talking with your t about your life experiences. I am positive about that.

[Victoria'smom]

Thank you Beth. Now how do I not chicken out?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Thank you Beth. Now how do I not chicken out?

Don't think about it, just do it. Do you dissociate? If you do, separate the part of you that needs to be a safe child(ren) from the adult you that needs to protect the child(ren) and have the adult you do the work part, as if you're driving a car and keeping the children in the back seat safe.

If you don't dissociate, pretend you're in an acting class and reading a script that someone else wrote.

[Victoria'smom]

I dissociate occasionally. I'm planning on handling over my phone with the cheat sheet on it.

[Victoria'smom]

Well she read it. Scheduled 4 more appointments with me. H says he's proud of me. I'm nauseous. Definitely not eating today. Trying not to sh. Taking my anxiety meds.

[*Beth*]

I am SO proud of you, Mm! You did it!!!

[Moose72]

I'm late to this thread but congratulations, Mm, you did it!

[Victoria'smom]

Thank you. Luckily she didn't make me read it out loud but she read it out loud. Which made it feel weird. Then she asked questions. She mainly addressed the things around moving out. And my intense fear of the hospitalization. She touched on rediognosing and I told her no. But she wrote down Eating disorder and trauma. She asked if she could take notes. By the end of the session it seemed to fly by. She did reiterate the only thing that she's required to report is if I say I'll hurt myself or others.

[bizi]

I am so happy that you did it.
proud of you.
now don't go and hurt yourself. This was big girl stuff!
This is hard work that you are doing. You are worthy of this effort.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

I'm doing good distracting myself. I'm unnervingly calm. Don't want to eat but did.

[bizi]

Eating is so good for your self.
It is part of you being kind to yourself.
Self care stuff.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Good for you! I did something similar about the abuse I'd experienced and it helped me so much but it was really hard.


You were so courageous today!

[Victoria'smom]

thank you guys I feel like any second I'm going to get in trouble for being honest.

[wildflowerchild25]

GREAT job mm! I know you’ve struggled mightily with trusting t’s in the past. This is a step in the right direction! Great, great job!

[MuddyBoots]

You did an awesome job, MM! You're not going to get into trouble, like wfc said it's a step in the right direction; this is what therapy is all about: being vulnerable

[Brentus]

I am also very proud of you -- you've inspired me to talk more openly to my therapist about some things that I tend to keep hidden myself. Thank you for your courage and know that it's for the benefit of your therapy, you're not going to get in trouble for being vulnerable and honest.

[Victoria'smom]

I did it because I was upset she seemed like a good therapist but going the wrong way and attacking the only true support I have. I felt I had to prove that I need to see her weekly. Plus I'm getting sicker ED wise. I really do need help becoming independent as much as my husband says he doesn't mind. It looks like she wants him to control my medication for a while longer. I'll ask again in a month. I feel like I went backwards. I REALLY don't feel good. H says I'll probably be nauseous for a couple of sessions but I will be okay. Just trying to do basic things until next session and not be destructive.

[Fuzzybear]