[MuddyBoots]

So yesterday I talked to the crisis line and it went well. Today I got a call back from them to see how I was doing. I was honest, not overexagerating or underexaggerating and he sai he was sending an ambulance to my house. Cops came first and I tried to run so they handcuffed me and put me in an ambulance.

Given my state I was very agitated and they put me in 4 point and gave me a haldol/ativan/benadryl shot.It's startin to wear off

Possible trigger:

and I'm t hinking that since apparently no one can help me and this disorder can't be helped alone I should off myself

I'm tired. Probably have some mroe pointless **** in the morning.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Please get help. I know you don't want to hear this but if you are thinking of harming yourself you need to go back to the hospital and again be honest. I'm sorry that you had to go through so much being honest yesterday but you need help. I'm very worried about you.

[MuddyBoots]

I’m not going back. I told them the whole truth and nothing but the trust and I get 4 point and released an hour later not going through that again

[*Beth*]

Hi Boots. It's a huge problem when the treatment causes damage, isn't it? Mental health treatment is still archaic. That said, I am also very worried about you.

[Soupe du jour]

MuddyBoots, if you are a threat to yourself I think you belong in the hospital. Period. You thinking you're hopeless is dysfunctional ill thinking. This illness is no joke. Self harm and suicide are no casual things. The latter is permanent. Permanent. Permanent. Permanent! Not a solution and from someone who lost a nephew to it. It's not pretty. It's horrendously horrible beyond belief. Gut wrentchingly tragic. You putting that idea out there to us only serves for us to tell you to go in hospital.

I'm sorry you are ill. Bipolar sucks! Symptoms do ease and the illness does eventually go into remission. Mine has and I had an even more shocking situation years ago than you describe, with the police. And being dragged to isolation rooms and given forced injections. And other scary situations I won't even describe here. All when I quit or wasn't on meds and/or didn't seek help. Again, bipolar disorder can suck!

Please seek help to get well. Hugs

[MuddyBoots]

So what am I supposed to do? Go back to the ER and say "Hey, haven't changed a *******ed thing but can you treat me differently?"

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

So what am I supposed to do? Go back to the ER and say "Hey, haven't changed a *******ed thing but can you treat me differently?"

Between being a danger to yourself or doing the above? Above.

I'm afraid I can't be of further support today as I am leaving for a trip. Please take care.

[Moose72]

@MuddyBoots I hope that by now you are in the hospital and safe and they are helping you. I know how scary it is when your brain "goes bad" I call it. What you went through sounds horrible and I can see how you wouldn't want to volunteer for more. If you go willingly to the psych ER I'm quite sure you won't get put in restraints or given shots again. Tell them that you're still having suicidal thoughts and go from there. I hope you are safe!

[Nammu]

Muddy, soupe is right your ability to think right now is compromised. Can you go to ER and explain that when they saw you you were in a drugged stupor from emergency Hadol/ benzos and that you appeared ok but that nothing has changed except for the worse now that the emergency drugs have worn off. The whole thing was traumatizing and now you feel hopeless.

[*Beth*]

I lost my aunt and my cousin to suicide and yes, it is a true tragedy for those left behind and, of course, for the person who does it...a permanent solution.

Arthur Miller, the magnificent playwright, wrote that "a suicide is for two people." I wonder who your other person is? I know that when I contemplate suicide, as I often have, punishing someone else is always part of it.

I've been "arrested to the hospital" - i.e., taken in handcuffs. A horrible, shaming experience.

I really don't feel comfortable telling you how to proceed. That's up to you. All I ask is that you stay in contact with us as much as you can

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Hi Boots. It's a huge problem when the treatment causes damage, isn't it? Mental health treatment is still archaic. That said, I am also very worried about you.

Hi Boots

I completely agree with Beth about the huge problem when the treatment - archaic treatment - causes damage. I too have definitely experienced this. (Multiple times )

I'm worried about you too

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I lost my aunt and my cousin to suicide and yes, it is a true tragedy for those left behind and, of course, for the person who does it...a permanent solution.

Arthur Miller, the magnificent playwright, wrote that "a suicide is for two people." I wonder who your other person is? I know that when I contemplate suicide, as I often have, punishing someone else is always part of it.

I've been "arrested to the hospital" - i.e., taken in handcuffs. A horrible, shaming experience.

I really don't feel comfortable telling you how to proceed. That's up to you. All I ask is that you stay in contact with us as much as you can

Hi Beth,
I hadn't heard that quote by Arthur Miller. I have also often contemplated suicide. Long ago, punishing someone was always part of it. I'm not sure about now though. I'll have to think more about that.

How horrible that they shamed you like that. It makes me so angry

Much love to ALL

[Fuzzybear]

Trigger

Possible trigger:

grrrr

aha, I remembered

Possible trigger:

(I have forgotten how to use the trigger box

Hugs. You aren't alone in feeling this, or similar

One of the main reasons against this is.. botched attempts. At least in this country there are not many ''reliable'' methods

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Hi Beth,
I hadn't heard that quote by Arthur Miller. I have also often contemplated suicide. Long ago, punishing someone was always part of it. I'm not sure about now though. I'll have to think more about that.

How horrible that they shamed you like that. It makes me so angry

Much love to ALL

Oh, Fuzzy, it's good to see you

The quote is from the play "The Fall."

It was absolutely horrible, and painful, because while my wrists were cuffed the cop pushed me into the tiny back seat of his car and my shoulders were jammed up. Thank you, Fuzzy...you always understand.

[*Beth*]

I think MuddyBoots must be IP.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I think MuddyBoots must be IP.

I second this.

[MuddyBoots]

I only saw my doc two days out of the five I was there and he made no med changes other than telling me to take klonopin two times a day scheduled (it was 2x a day as needed). They wanted me to stay until Friday but I refused because the doc didn't have a reasonable plan.

[Nammu]

Sometimes ip is just a place to decompress and give you time to stabilize.

[*Beth*]

Hi Boots, thank you for checking in. I've been thinking of you.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Sometimes ip is just a place to decompress and give you time to stabilize.

Well, I neither decompressed nor stabilized so that was a crapshoot.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Hi Boots, thank you for checking in. I've been thinking of you.

Thanks. Not just for this but for being an active compassionate member of the forums. You're definitely one of the more helpful members here.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

Thanks. Not just for this but for being an active compassionate member of the forums. You're definitely one of the more helpful members here.

That means a lot to me, Boots. I wish there was more I could do.

[Jmayfair]

Its true beth. You are always around and say nice things.