FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#41
I believe you'll get clean when you're ready. Or you won't. Either way, you have determination.
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear
|
downandlonely
|
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#42
I just hate how I can go an agonizing two weeks without but then 1 minute of weakness brings me right back to day 0.
__________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu
|
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#43
I'm worried I'm going to get addicted to benzos next. They've practically been shoving them down my throat for the past year and now they don't do anything. I just had a fight with my fss worker because she told me to take some kpin to calm down and stop pacing but now I just feel not so great and really agitated when I was on top of hte motha****in world before I talked to her.
I told her I thought my new friend was plotting something against me and she said "that's reasonable given your history with men" and I wasn't even thinking about that and now I'm ruminating and I figured out why my (now ex?)boyfriend won't let me to his apartment. He knows I'm capable of blind rage and he's given me reason to take it out on him. If he comes over here (which he hasn't in months because he got arrested) he'll be on alert but if I don't know where he lives I can't sneak in and get him off guard. She told me not to drive. Said to stay home all week (not even go for walks because she doesn't want me freaking out, running, and passing out in the heat because we're in a heat wave) and she'll try to get my meds delivered to me. I told her about my drug use yesterday and she didn't seem too concerned about it compared to what I was doing prior to two weeks ago. I would call the team and tell them I want to take the rest of my kpin because I'm sick of these crazy emotions that never end. I feel like with bipolar mood swings they last longer and are more consistent but I'm like YEAH Z-SPINS!!!! THIS AWESOME FEELING WILL NEVER END! THEN a minute later I'm screaming and punching walls (well, if I have some semblance of impulse control a pillow but I usually don't and then I'm laying on the ground crying and then for the next hour I'm dissociated and exhausted but still agitated. X Ambassadors - Unsteady - YouTube __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, buddha1too, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#44
@MuddyBoots
Well, Kpin causes major mood swings when taken prn. That's a problem with it. What are your DOC's? I ask because I believe a certain DOC(s) can tell us a lot about what's going on as far as what our basic issues are. Do you ever listen to Nick Cave? __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear
|
Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,391
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#45
It’s a major belief by the western medicine people that benzos reduce cravings. Frankly I don’t know that it does. And yes mood swings are a side effect.
Beth what’s a DOC? __________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Reply With Quote |
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#46
Quote:
I was wondering what DOC's are? __________________ |
|
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*
|
*Beth*
|
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#47
Quote:
DOCs are opioids+weed. Don't listen to NickCave, why? -------- What the actual fk brain? Really? Kill self because person you met last week didn't answer your text in three hours? This is why I don't get close to good people. __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. Last edited by MuddyBoots; Jul 19, 2022 at 05:38 PM.. |
|
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, Fuzzybear
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#48
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Nammu
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#49
Quote:
Ha, I just thought you might like Nick Cave. I would feel the same way about the text, etc. But I'm no pinnacle of emotional health. Opioids. Well, pills are tough enough to come clean from. God girl, do NOT go near heroin or you will be in a serious mess. I'm sure it's tempting but please, please, please, Boots. Don't die, okay? You want to be out of pain, you do not want to die. I promise that. So opioids decrease anxiety and tell you that you are calmer. Being calmer helps people stay focused. Maybe too focused, though. As in...stuck in one place. It's all understandable, it all makes sense. But a huge issue with opioids is the moodiness. Gaaahhhh. They make people SOOOO moody. Any of your support professionals understand that you're trying to stay less anxious and more focused? __________________ |
|
Reply With Quote |
downandlonely
|
Fuzzybear
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#50
@MuddyBoots btw, don't just throw the Kpin in the trash because of course you may find yourself going through the trash picking the Kpin out. I suggest putting it in a bowl and melting it with hot water, then tossing the melted stuff in that bin.
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
downandlonely, Fuzzybear
|
MuddyBoots
|
Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,391
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#51
Boots, are you in a metro area? You could try finding a low cost acupuncture to help deal with the cravings? I know when I lived in Austin there was a couple of low cost clinics. I went to deal with pain, it was great. The guy knew what he was doing and he also threw in cupping treatments it helped me sleep better.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear
|
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#52
There's an acupuncture studio in my city but I don't think I'd be comfortable with that. And each visit's $40.
__________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear, Nammu
|
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#53
My fss worker came by to drop off meds (including more klonopin!) and really urged me to take a PRN so I took thorazine twice. I'm never taking Kpin again.
I gotta say I'm feeling a lot better. I've been paranoid of demons and I still kinda am but I'm not hearing the angels try to protect me right now so idk how I feel about that __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, Nammu
|
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given |
#54
@MuddyBoots just wondering if you have talked to your doctor about the klonopin? If you are on a high dose, you may need to taper down rather than going cold turkey. Some dangerous withdrawal effects.
|
Reply With Quote |
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#55
@downandlonely I'm not on a high dose. It's PRN and until recently I rarely took it
__________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
downandlonely, Fuzzybear
|
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given |
#56
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#57
How the fk do you just "sit with your feelings!"?????
If someone tells me one more time to sit with my feelings i will go ballistic __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
Fuzzybear
|
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#58
Quote:
It sucks when someone else repeats the same unhelpful things to us. Do they ever elaborate? Here they tend not to. __________________ |
|
Reply With Quote |
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,133
(SuperPoster!)
3 4,837 hugs
given |
#59
No, they never elaborate. Just say it's a skill you have to learn.
In all honesty I had a few drinks and feel better. Kinda bothered that no one's responding to my textx/ calls though. I feel like I am "too much" for most people. Hell, I'm too much for myself! __________________ Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody. |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, Fuzzybear, Victoria'smom
|
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#60
I sometimes feel like I'm ''too much'' for most people too (including Papa bear, he likes a lot of quiet.. ) and I'm definitely too much for me
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, MuddyBoots
|