Bipolar check-in #68

I changed my moniker from Jennifer to Sunflower123. I needed a fresh start among other things. It feels wonderful. I’ll upload a picture of my beloved sunflowers for my avatar as soon as I get the orientation right.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Awesome with the name change @Mountaindewed

Thanks @MuddyBoots.

I was born in 1993 so I had all the vaccines except the chicken pox one which wasn't out yet. I remember my siblings and I all getting it real bad in summer of 97 or 98. I remember the neighbor lady brought her daughter over to play with us because she wanted her daughter to get chicken pox from us so she could get it over with.

I was really scratching my head as to who @Sunflower123 was. I saw many posts from the past so held back from welcoming you as a new member. Thanks for the heads up, Jennifer. By the way, how would you like us to refer to you now? Still Jennifer, or rather now Sunflower?

I hope you get a lot of pool dips in before they close for the season. Do you have any other ideas for an activity that provides a similar self-care? It is good to make fresh starts every so often, and I, too, like sunflowers. Our upcoming new place has a row of sunflowers blooming.

Picking up meds is ****ing stupid. Call me noncompliant, I don't give a ****, but if they're going to make it impossible for me to know what to do each ****ing week I'm just gonna give up. Some weeks they're delivered, some weeks I pick them up from the ACT team, and some weeks I pick them up from the pharmacy. Sometimes I get them late and skip my meds for a few days. Sometimes I say I don't need more thorazine and they fill the script anyways (I literally have 4 months worth of the **** right now).
I don't even know if I have to go back down to my dad's area to get my meds or if they transferred to the pharmacy up here. I don't ****ing know. I'm sick of the unnecessarily complicated.

I’m so sorry @MuddyBoots that they’re making it so difficult for you to get your meds. I mean they want you to be med compliant but they’re making it almost impossible! It’s just not professional. I hope you’re able to get it straightened out, it’s not your fault and the ACT team needs to take care of it ASAP.

@Muddyboots ; aww they are really making things tough doing meds week by week. For some red tape reason I can no longer get my latuda in 90 day refills but at least my pharmacy auto fills it monthly and all I have to do is show up when they send me a text. Man that burns me that they are making things complicated. Take care

I got it sorted after a bunch of phone calls and waiting for my old ACT person to call back. They transferred it, I picked it up just now, and next week I'm meeting some of my new team, see another new pdoc on the 6th. I'm amazed at how quick that was. Now to share all my issues with another 4 strangers...

Wow. I just got off the phone with my dad and NH is just plain s***ty with ER psych stuff lately. Last time I was there was pretty recently. I was manic, substance use completely out of control, hadn't slept more than 3 hours straight in 2.5 maybe 3 months, was hearing things, told them about my severe paranoid delusions that I 100% thought were real (some pretty scary shyt too as you guys know), and all I got was a four hour wait and some hydroxyzine that didn't work.

Well, someone my dad knows was in a standoff with the police; it was on the news and it was pretty intense. He was having some sort of episode. Went to the ER voluntarily after, waited 8 hours, got sent home. Nice guy too.

If the super manic & psychotic and/or violent/suicidal/homicidal that want help don't get help, who does?

I believe in vaccines and encourage my children to get them. However, N2 had a bad reaction to her first set of shots at 2 months old. A few days after her shots, she screamed a high-pitched scream and stared, unseeing, into the void. This was due to seizures. Luckily, this reaction was listed in the handout on the DTaP vaccine. It was due to the "aP" part- acellular Pertussis- of the vaccine. Interestingly,, they developed the aP to deal with bad reactions to the old "P" vaccine. All that to say, N2 will never get a pertussis vaccine again. She never caught the disease even though she was indirectly exposed once. And we are all very much pro-vaccine even so. I had the chicken pox at age 17- before the vaccine came out. Caught it from a girl I babysat. It was pretty miserable. One night, in the middle of the night, I got up feeling very bad. I sat in the chair next to my mom's bed. (My dad was away on a business trip.). I didn't want to wake my mom up because she was always grumpy when she was woken up. I remember falling forward. The next thing I knew I woke up in a cold sweat laying on my parents' bed. My mom was there with my sister. I'd had a seizure. My sister caught chicken pox from me and was just at the cut off for being allowed to travel with us to Europe for a worldwide youth choral competition.

I have an allergy to the Dtap too. I had swelling from it that was so bad that after my 1 year shot I couldn't walk for several days. The last time I got one I was 18 and about to go to college. They did my boosters in half doses given several weeks apart until then but I had so much swelling that time I was told further boosters are dangerous and I should only have them in an ER.


I did catch pertussis when I was working in home health. I had a patient diagnosed with "pneumonia" with the strangest, most awful cough I'd ever heard. I had to keep stopping our appointment to let her catch her breath and get a drink. A few weeks later I had a runny nose I thought was seasonal allergies and then I found myself coughing so hard I threw up and had to leave work. I was really, really sick for a week and recovering for a few months. I still have asthma as a souvenir.

Today was decent until about 1. My therapy session was pretty good. Probably the best I've had with her. She was reassuring about the stuff my pdoc caused me to panic about. She didn't give me a hard time about food or my weight. I told her about the very nice secuirty guard at the courthouse but that he had called me "buddy." She said I do look very young and I do look more like a teenager then an almost 30 year old. I think that was supposed to be a compliment but I don't know. I know I'm only 5'5 and am a bit on the scrawny side. People just tell me to enjoy it while I can but I guess it does bother me a bit.

Anyways when I got home I ate a small pack of walnuts because they are a nut I can eat according to the test I did. But apparently not. I got bad nausea that zofran and my stomach med couldn't take care of. I got a migraine that 2 advil didn't help. And I got ER type stomach pain. Things have calmed down regarding the headache and pain but I'm still a bit queasy. I'm going to call my primary and get in an order for a legit food and allergy test.

But my court paper orders are in. They ordered 10 of them for me. So I'll go pick them up from the lawyer tommrow. Some offices need original copies. Some offices need notriorities. So it will take awhile but at least the papers are in so I can start that process.

Wow. Very similar to N2's experience except she's never had pertussis. I have asthma too. It can be scary if not controlled well. Mine is okay right now- so much so that my doctor had me stop one of my two Advair doses per day.

I'm have been really depressed this week along with isolating real bad. I did get to my parents today and had a nice dinner. I came home right afterwards and started thinking about my wife. I really miss her.

I called my pdoc office yesterday to get some refills and find out when my next appointment was. She does the refill and I asked her about my next appointment and she said I was not on the schedule. I said I have one like the 13th or 14th with my provider and she goes well he will no longer be working here after the end of this month. They should of called me and explained all this to me. They set me up with a different provider but I am thinking of switching clinics.

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I was born in 1976 but I've had the chicken pox vaccine. I was exposed as an infant and had a few pox but didn't develop immunity so I had the shots in my 30s. The bonus is I don't ever need a shingles vaccine. It was weird though getting a pediatric vaccine and Medicare didn't cover it because it isn't something adults get often so it was expensive.

I had chicken pox when I was 6. The entire Kindergarten class got it and I gave it to my younger brothers. It's not bad if you get it as a kid, but I hear it's very hard on adults.

Yeah, that's why I got the vaccine. I had been exposed countless times so it's amazing I didn't catch it (I worked with elderly people who had shingles frequently and could have caught it from any of them) plus my sister had it when we shared a bedroom as kids but somehow I didn't get it. I don't even remember why my doctor and I decided to test my immunity but when we did and it was negative he was pretty surprised as he said he'd never seen someone who'd had pox (even a few like me) without immunity. I'm so glad I didn't have to go through that as an adult. Or a kid I guess.

Thank you for asking. Sunflower or SF please. I’m trying to get away from Jennifer.

I have a scholarship form in at the YMCA to join for aqua fitness and to float. There’s a large glass wall where the sun shines in to the deep end at a certain time of day.

Awesome about your new place having sunflowers! I hope you make many wonderful memories there.

Aww you’ll love the aqua fitness program. If it’s anything like the one I go to the people are real friendly.