Bipolar check-in #71

bizi · Nov 27, 2022 at 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I had a bizarre night. My sheet was sideways, my thin hemp blanket was on the floor, my top heavy knitted blanket was as it should be. But it’s got large holes in it so I was cold.

On top of that weird dreams where I was in a two story McDonald’s with hidden cupboards where everyone hung their clothes. I was finished and wanted to leave but couldn’t find my clothes. Then as I was leaving two really thick newspapers plopped on the floor one level down. They were mine but I had trouble reaching them and they were uncut $100 dollar bills. I got the first paper but before I could get to the second a cleaning lady reached it and was cutting up the bills. Then I was in a hotel, very fancy and ultra modern with my news paper full of $100 dollar bills. I was dressed in a lime green overall with neon pink shirt. Ugh 😩 what a weird dream oh yeah, at the McDonald’s they had gates for people to slip though, they were to keep overweight people out.

you have some kind of dreams!

bizi · Nov 27, 2022 at 09:59 PM

MM- It sounds like a good dog. he is yours and what ever you have to do claim him as yours, then do it.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

HALLIEBETH87 · Nov 27, 2022 at 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

What if someone practices self-help techniques, truly uses them, and they help, say...about 25% out of 100%. And meds (consistent use) do help, but ab50%. So you're left with 25% of living with sheer hell (anxiety/panic). Then what?

Well what do you think? For me I’d fight like hell to get through it. Some times I give up. Sometimes I fight. It’s a hard thing and no two people are the same but statistically meds alone won’t cure you. It’s a combo of meds and coping skills that help.

otroo · Nov 27, 2022 at 11:08 PM

Years ago from my different inpatient and out patient stays I learned coping skills but the weird thing was I did not use them right away. It was like after 3 or 4 years I just found myself using them.

Right now I am still suffering from grief but I have been having mania and between that and the grief is is a mixed episode from hell, and I am also rapid cycling. I got put on a small script of Ativan and I have to take one in the morning now and I try to not take anymore because my pdoc only gave me 10 cause I told her I was suffering from major suicidal ideations.

This sucks

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Victoria'smom · Nov 28, 2022 at 01:02 AM

Yay for mixed episodes at your in laws house. Wtf, I have enough to deal with.

MuddyBoots · Nov 28, 2022 at 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

What if someone practices self-help techniques, truly uses them, and they help, say...about 25% out of 100%. And meds (consistent use) do help, but about 50%. So you're left with 25% of living with sheer hell (anxiety/panic). Then what?

"Distress tolerance skills" of course. Because that's what life is all about, distress tolerance...

unlived · Nov 28, 2022 at 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I didn't sleep good last night. I got about an hour of sleep after 11. I ate almost 3 full containers of tic tacs. Its a stress relief thing for me. I also had a couple Gatorades. So my stomach and anxiety wasn't the best. I've just had Project Runway on all day. I did improve the quality of my food and I've eaten decently since the tic tacs. I see my pdoc tommorow afternoon and I'm hoping he'll do something to help my anxiety. Although he has been pretty *****y lately and unwilling to help me since our last session. I'm just going to remain calm and stuff while talking to him. Also my first therapy session is on Thursday. I thought it was the week after. So I'll see how things go with this one. I wish things would just get like magically better. Idk. Maybe having a job really will help. I know it really helped me mentally, physically, and financially from 2016- late 2019. I just have to get up the courage to apply. This Walmart thing spooked me. But mainly I'm just procrastinating out of fear .

I'm just kind of all around anxious and kind of sad today. I miss my transference T and also my last T, and I don't think either can be replaced. Plus the 8 year anniversary of my dads death is on Tuesday. I hope my pdoc can do something for me and I hope he is in a decent mood.

Edit: eating with my meds sure makes a difference in how they work. I took my normal afternoon meds and ate a bowl of plain oatmeal, and I feel a lot better. I don't normally eat with my meds. I'm working on eating with them and also taking them at the same time.

I hated being on Geodon because you had to eat like 350(?) calories every time you took them for them to work properly. I was trying to lose weight and it didn’t fit in with my way of eating / lifestyle at all.

unlived · Nov 28, 2022 at 07:43 AM

I’m in a compulsive spending episode and not sleeping much. Have spent thousands and I’m on disability. It’s all gone on buy now pay later schemes / cards and a credit card. Bought a new laptop, new iPhone (that was $1900 alone) new tablet, new smart clock, stuff for my car, stuff for the computer, stuff for the tablet, Christmas presents for my family, birthday presents for my mum and take away food and lots more stuff that I shouldn’t have but I NEEDED to buy right then and there…. I already have credit card debt from before this plus a couple of hundred debt from the pharmacy so this isn’t good…. I still have the need to spend and not sleep and making plans and don’t see my psychiatrist til February and don’t really want to make an earlier appointment.

Does anyone who takes saphris know if 20mg helps with hypo/mania stuff?

I’m on 15mg at the moment and have been doing good. I need to stop spending because it’s out of control.

It’s spring here and I think the change in weather has lifted my mood.

otroo · Nov 28, 2022 at 09:00 AM

Well, I am trying to take a small step in my recovery. I got a job, and I am going to try my hand at working today. I am driving for doordash. I know it's not much, but it has been over 10 years since I last worked, and I am very nervous to try this. I can't survive on SSDI alone after my wife passed away.

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Nammu · Nov 28, 2022 at 09:18 AM

Best of luck otroo

Nammu · Nov 28, 2022 at 09:21 AM

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake 🧁 cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Blue_Bird · Nov 28, 2022 at 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake

cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Happy birthday Nammu!!

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otroo · Nov 28, 2022 at 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake

cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Happy birthday

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Blue_Bird · Nov 28, 2022 at 10:05 AM

I spent some time with my sister yesterday. She stopped by for a bit and saw the cats some then I went grocery shopping with her because she needed to get some stuff for a few recipes she was making. She enjoyed the chocolate chip pumpkin bread I baked for her. She said my apartment looks great and she can tell I’m doing a lot better on my meds with my mood and paranoia, and with general household upkeep than I was a few years ago. A few years ago I was a total trainwreck mentally and my apartment at the time was a mess too due to some depressive episodes where I’d go very long periods without cleaning.

I’m still working on dealing with my anxiety. Been exercising, meditating, getting out and socializing at different events and things, spending time with family/friends. I cut out caffeine entirely

Been playing with the cats everyday, making sure they burn off some energy and have fun

Looking forward to Christmas

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Blue_Bird · Nov 28, 2022 at 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo

Well, I am trying to take a small step in my recovery. I got a job, and I am going to try my hand at working today. I am driving for doordash. I know it's not much, but it has been over 10 years since I last worked, and I am very nervous to try this. I can't survive on SSDI alone after my wife passed away.

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Good luck with your job, I hope it goes well!

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Sunflower123 · Nov 28, 2022 at 10:31 AM

@Nammu Happy Birthday!!! 🎈🎊🎁

Sunflower123 · Nov 28, 2022 at 10:45 AM

It’s tough being back in the house during the holidays after being gone for so long. Mom and I were going to see her sister who has cancer (they found a new spot on her liver) but I went inpatient and mom cracked a rib during a fall. We may try to go see her sister in December or use my vacation package for a change of scenery. I’m sure it’s these first few holidays that are going to be toughest. I’m trying not to be down or depressed for mom’s sake. It’s hard.

I think I mentioned that we are planning a family reunion for summer 2023. We have a large extended family. I’m looking forward to it. My whole family is. My daughter is particularly excited. Surprised there.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Much love

BeyondtheRainbow · Nov 28, 2022 at 12:35 PM

Happy Birthday Nammu!

Soupe du jour · Nov 28, 2022 at 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake 🧁 cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Happy birthday, Nammu! The cup cakes sound yummy. How lovely that the aqua fitness continues to be a pleasureable and rewarding part of your life.

Soupe du jour · Nov 28, 2022 at 01:13 PM

Otroo, I hope your new job goes well and you earn good tips.

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Bipolar check-in #71

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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 14,906 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,442 hugs given	Nov 28, 2022 at 01:02 AM #265 Yay for mixed episodes at your in laws house. Wtf, I have enough to deal with. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog

otroo Veteran Member Member Since Jul 2013 Location: Boise Posts: 701 10	Nov 28, 2022 at 09:00 AM #269 Well, I am trying to take a small step in my recovery. I got a job, and I am going to try my hand at working today. I am driving for doordash. I know it's not much, but it has been over 10 years since I last worked, and I am very nervous to try this. I can't survive on SSDI alone after my wife passed away. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 71,381 (SuperPoster!) 13 53.6k hugs given	Nov 28, 2022 at 09:18 AM #270 Best of luck otroo __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann

Sunflower123 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2015 Location: USA Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!) 9 95k hugs given	Nov 28, 2022 at 10:31 AM #276 @Nammu Happy Birthday!!! 🎈🎊🎁

BeyondtheRainbow Wise Elder Member Since Apr 2015 Location: US Posts: 9,230 (SuperPoster!) 9 9,385 hugs given	Nov 28, 2022 at 12:35 PM #278 Happy Birthday Nammu! __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel

Soupe du jour Elder Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Czechia Posts: 5,154 8 13.4k hugs given	Nov 28, 2022 at 01:13 PM #280 Otroo, I hope your new job goes well and you earn good tips. __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.