Bipolar check-in #71

Oh it went great but only 4 people showed up. Class was limited to 8 and around noon they sent out a reminder and asked if you couldn’t come to call because there was a waiting list. The other three were new and I was the only one that bought things to put on the wreath. Last year everyone bought stuff to add. I just had four gold star ornaments and red berries. I like to keep it simple. But the others really filled out their wreaths they looked great with just the bows and pine cones. Everyone chose to do the big one. They have three sizes. Ohh they all looked good.

Yeah winter solstice is December 21st. So it’s noticeable by January that it’s getting lighter. I’m so done with the darkness. I hate driving in the dark.

Watching Rudolf the red nosed reindeer now. feels very Christmasy

I'm home from my biopsy and settled into bed. I'm exhausted but still wired from the lidocaine. I'm not going to mess with insomnia tonight; if I can't sleep by midnight or so I'm taking klonopin. Sleep will be hard because the biopsy was done on my left breast on the outside and I usually sleep on my left side.

I also have my Emsam!

Results in 4-7 days, approximately.

Sleep well rainbow 🌈

I want to preface this with the information that I took a shower this morning. I put on deodorant. I did my due diligence this morning to look presentable. That makes what happened to me all the more anger-inducing.

I was approached by a Walmart middle manager (Note: I don't work for Walmart. I have my own boss.) who decided to dress me down in the middle of the sales floor for not meeting (Walmart?) standards (Again, don't work for Walmart.) denigrated my personal hygiene (Also, see the preface.), saying I smelled but not specifying anything beyond something smelling "sour." Then she threatened my job. She can't technically fire me, but she threatened to have me kicked out of the store and therefore make me unable to do my job.

I was shocked at her audacity (That was quite literally the first interaction I had with the woman!) and then incensed to the point I had to actually calm myself down, lest I say something... unhelpful to my cause. After I calmed down, I asked the people I interact with about any errant... aromas. Those that had notes (Several were confused and didn't know what I was on about.) mentioned feet.

This middle manager threatened my employment over sweaty feet, something that tends to happen when you're on your feet for six, seven, eight hours.

You better believe I told my boss about this. She seems to have my back on this one, saying that any issues of "talking to" caliber should be relayed to her, so they come down my chain of command. Makes sense, but I don't mind real time input from those I collaborate with either. What I do mind is being reminded about why I don't work for Wally World anymore via the "Karen" who became the manager she asked for!


Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Oh it went great but only 4 people showed up. Class was limited to 8 and around noon they sent out a reminder and asked if you couldn’t come to call because there was a waiting list. The other three were new and I was the only one that bought things to put on the wreath. Last year everyone bought stuff to add. I just had four gold star ornaments and red berries. I like to keep it simple. But the others really filled out their wreaths they looked great with just the bows and pine cones. Everyone chose to do the big one. They have three sizes. Ohh they all looked good.

They all must have looked so pretty! Why did only 4 people show up? Do people not want to be out in the snow?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I'm home from my biopsy and settled into bed. I'm exhausted but still wired from the lidocaine. I'm not going to mess with insomnia tonight; if I can't sleep by midnight or so I'm taking klonopin. Sleep will be hard because the biopsy was done on my left breast on the outside and I usually sleep on my left side. I also have my Emsam! Results in 4-7 days, approximately.

You GO, girl! All done. I hope by the time you see this you have had a good night of sleep. And it's great that you have your Emsam, at last

I am so sorry you had to be the recipient of such a rude woman @Aurelius710. There are times when I really, really wonder what makes some people be such mean jerks. Throughout his many decades of employment my husband encountered some co-workers/supervisors (for some reason, usually bitter women) who bullied him. There was absolutely no reason for it; it was like they just zeroed in on him. Anyway, what happened to you reminded me of that type of supervisor. Yes, I certainly hope tomorrow is a better day!

I’m thinking that the snow and the dark had to be the reason, but we only got 3 inches. All the roads I drove on were plowed but the snow was drifting. But in the afternoon they sent out a reminder of class and asked that if you couldn’t make it that you cancel because there was a waiting list.

My pdoc said I'd be off work for 3-6 months. I've been off for a month so far.

This past month off has been helpful; my anxiety is not as bad and the gabapentin is working.

I'm going to the gym at least 3 times a week and I now have someone to train me on using the machines. I need the help since I don't know what to do on my own. The trainer is expensive but I think I'll benefit from the guidance.

I'm still feeling low, but that's not new; I've been depressed for a long time.

I hope you recover from your biopsy soon @BeyondtheRainbow

I hope you got to sleep beyondthe rainbow.
hugs to you as you wait for the results.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Not much is going on. I woke up right after midnight and I tried my music and stuff. I then worked out at 2:30. I did 100 crunches with my ab roller. Then I did 20 squats with my kettlebell. I took a few minutes break and I did the ab roller again but could only do 25 more. I am seeing an improvement in how I look with and without clothes. I took my Prestiq at 3:30 and it knocked me out from 4 until 7:30. I'll have to figure out a better time to take it and how to switch over to that time. I had been taking the 50mil at 8AM and that was wearing me out all day so I thought I'd try going earlier with the new dose and getting some more sleep. Which has worked these last couple days, but I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. So I may have to switch it to at night if I can figure out how.

So far things have been good. I see the new therapist tommorow afternoon. Supposedly that will solve all my problems according to my pdoc. I think I just have to be on a very strict schedule with literally everything and I'll be ok. I guess maybe I just don't have high expectations for this therapist because I'm always let down by them.

That's an amazing workout, MD! I just started working out and can't do that many... maybe 30 crunches and 15 squats without a kettlebell.

I think I might be doing too much. But I don't know. I keep getting this pain in my abdomen after a workout and I feel sick all day. But maybe that just means its working. Idk.

If you ever want a kettelbell I got mine from 5 Below. They get a ton of workout equimpent this time of year but they go fast. I don't go to a gym I just made a cheap small at home one.

I wonder what is going on with Al Roker. If he'll make it or not. That one may sting a bit. I've been watching The Today Show for almost 12 years and Al was my favorite.

I had soooo much fun with my fiancé last night and this morning! Then I went to a nonprofit fundraiser! The food
Was amazing

Sigh ugh homework

Im. So. Behind. Here. Again.

Steve is going to Florida for Christmas. His boys are paying for a rental car so he can drive down. He’s really upset that once again I’ll be alone for Christmas.

I’m perfectly okay about staying home. I have 3 dogs that will keep me busy. I hope to down the road fly down to see Amanda.

Good grief this puppy is so much work

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for the idea! It’ll be December in 4 odd hours. It seems like a long time since we’ve watched it. Daughter is eating a candy cane and is actually singularly focused watching it.

A hard day. I wrote about some of it on my Keeping Track post. The rest of it...I'm just worn down. Too much. Too much. My stomach is in knots. My soul is in knots. I'm trying to pray, I really am. I admired how Queen Elizabeth II knelled by her bed every night, all of her life, to say her prayers.

Rain is supposed to start tonight and be strong by tomorrow, with wind. I'm happy for the redwood tree outside of my window, I'm focusing on him. Me, I feel like I'm going to fall apart entirely when that rain comes. The sound of it. I don't know how I keep doing this. The med increases will have to help, they can't not help.

I did get a long, long strand of colored lights to hang around my apartment. 200 lights. I realized that Amazon delivered a packaged that contained a box of Christmas lights and a box of Hanukkah (menorah) candles. That struck me as amusing. And nice.

Oh- and Christine McVie's (Fleetwood Mac) death...she was only 79. I'd always thought she'd live to be really old, she seemed so grounded. I was very sad.