Bipolar check-in #71

You are a holiday inspiration @Nammu!

And a big hurrah for @bizi

Sorry Beth, I hope things improve with your med person or you find someone that can help you I hope you feel better

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

….and the picture is hung! ✅ anyone want a level? I’m sure we won’t be using it again.

Plus my solid perfume came today. Two stone containers, one amber and one jasmine.

I had a good appointment with my therapist

Working on my impulsive spending. I did well with it for awhile but when I was hypomanic recently I started again. Otherwise I’m doing really well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m glad you had a good appointment, that can be a real game changer. A good therapist is an excellent help.

Thanks Nammu, yes she is wonderful. I have been seeing both her and my psychiatrist for 6 years. They're both great

Decorating is so much fun, I hope you have a fun time with it

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ...There was an old lady in front of us who wasn't even making a scene and just said something, I think about the other store being less expensive. Then when she left the cashier started complaning to the bagger about how the lady should shop there then and be grateful because "its the holidays and ****." ....

That is messed up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu ….and the picture is hung! ✅ anyone want a level? I’m sure we won’t be using it again. Plus my solid perfume came today. Two stone containers, one amber and one jasmine.

Ooh! Enjoy those scents - nice ones! 2 of my favorites, for sure. I used solid perfume in high school. I bought it at a head shop called Anapurna in Berkeley. The scents stayed so much better than oils did, for me.

Haha, my parents were interior designers and having to sit on a chair very still while they measured, leveled, re-measured, re-level, repeat, pictures was a very early memory of mine. Nope, I don't want your level, lol.

Thank you @Blue_Bird I appreciate your kindness. Yay for the good therapy appointment! What a difference that does make. I, too, had a helpful one yesterday and it is giving me a feeling of...I think the word is empowerment...today.

Do your perfumes look like this @Nammu?

Yup, exactly, except the box is purple. I’m enjoying the amber already. I looked on line for my other favorite perfume from the body shop, but those stores went out of business ages ago. Though there’s a few hustlers trying to sell half used bottles of the wrong scents for hundreds of dollars!!!

It’s required by law in my state to be drug tested once a year while on benzos and your pdoc can monitor how often and where you pick up any medication. My agency does not prescribe benzos they’re habit forming and get abused and new studies show long term
Use can cause dementia.
Be thankful you’re not in my state.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Yup, exactly, except the box is purple. I’m enjoying the amber already. I looked on line for my other favorite perfume from the body shop, but those stores went out of business ages ago. Though there’s a few hustlers trying to sell half used bottles of the wrong scents for hundreds of dollars!!!

I love the scent of amber. The good old Berkeley head shop I mentioned is till going strong! They even have an online store now, sheesh

The only worthwhile place in this town imo (besides the movie theater, which really is a terrific place) is the grocery store which is, fortunately, very close to my apartment. It is pretty upscale (i.e., fairly pricey). But the staff is angelic, every one of them. I was 49 cents short 2 days ago - so one of the baggers says No problem! Pops 50 cents into the till. That's just how they are there. Lovely selection, sweet little cafe, beautiful bakery...and a section I'd call rich hippie stuff (products that used to be so out of the mainstream they were dirt-cheap and have now become so "in" they're priced over the top).

Anyway, they sell those little solid perfumes! I just don't use them any more (and I am guilty of ordering almost everything like that online now), so I haven't really paid attention to which scents they have or cost. I sure will, though, next time I shop there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 It’s required by law in my state to be drug tested once a year while on benzos and your pdoc can monitor how often and where you pick up any medication. My agency does not prescribe benzos they’re habit forming and get abused and new studies show long term Use can cause dementia. Be thankful you’re not in my state.

This state is so tightly regulated I actually feel nervous when I go to pick up my Klonopin prescription, and I have not done 1 thing out of line. It's ridiculous, because if people want to get around the law they sure can. But for people just taking our meds *shakes head*

I got some good news today. The re-order of my Emsam has made it to my pdoc and I can pick it up when I have my biopsy next week. I have to cut patches until then but that will be fine, just a little stressful because I have trouble figuring out the best way to cut them to get my dose. But once I do it once I'll remember.

This does make the biopsy easier to look forward to; at least one good thing will happen that day. I looked it up and it took a week for the pathology at this hospital with my last biopsy so I'll need some distractions for the week after the procedure. I need a new Christmas tress so maybe I can find one and get that set up. So far I've only looked at Walmart and didn't like any that they had in my price range.

So relieved. I can't even begin to explain how glad I am that the patches are in safe-keeping for me.

ETA: I also got the bill for my MRI. I was really worried because the MRI costs nearly $7000 and I had no idea how Medicare would adjust for it. But today I got the bill and it was not bad. More money than I'd like to spend at Christmas but a lot less than I expected it to be. I can manage that cost twice a year. It's supposed to be once a year but has to be clean once to go to that schedule. I wish I'd kept track of my medical costs this year. Sheesh.

I know! Co-ops used to be a place to save money now they are so expensive. There’s times I really miss how I used to live but geez I can’t afford that life style now! I’m glad you’ve got a good grocery store that’s so kind.

I hope anyone who is not asleep is having a peaceful night. I hope we ALL have a peaceful Wednesday.

I had my appointment with med dude. I'll be candid, because I don't know how else to be in life.

He began prescribing less than a year ago and it shows. He is empathetic and he does care. He's friendly, he has a sincerity about his manner that touches me, and that I'll carry with me when I remember him 10 years from now. His thinking lacks creativity because he lacks confidence, which causes him to be somewhat falsely arrogant and easily threatened. Logically, it follows that he gets defensive easily.

So, after about 6 months I do finally understand how to negotiate with him; I don't feel lost. What follows is how I've arrived at my conclusions.

I explained to Dude how hard this month has been (what you all know), that the Topomax has blurred the sharp edges of the depression but that the dose is still very low, that I am having terrible anxiety with waves of panic.

And I told Dude that a friend who has bipolar disorder uses Emsam to treat her depression. I told him that my therapist also said she has had clients with BD who have had success with Emsam. Med dude asked me how to spell it. He scrolled through his phone. OH, nah. That's an MAOI. Those aren't really used anymore. Too many side effects. I pushed a bit. (read: DUDE: Deep depression has side effects, too, hello) Disappointment - major. But I gave up.

I gave Dude the information that my GP referred me to an MD at the clinic where I receive my health care & that the MD is a doctor who specializes in addiction. I am seeing him, I explained, because I hope to be able to get off Klonopin (about 30 years on it).

I explained that Dr. D. uses the Ashton Method for benzo withdrawal. Med dude wanted to know which benzo Dr. D. would use to short-term replace the Klonopin. When I told him "Either Xanax or Valium" he came back with, "Xanax! That's a highly addictive benzo! That wouldn't be a good one to use, and I don't know why he'd even use it!"

Dr. D. is in his late 60's and has several decades of experience with treating addiction. It's his specialty, he's highly rated, etc. So... Maybe he knows what he's doing?

Then I told med dude that Dr. D. said we will most likely raise my Gabapentin dose much higher than it is. Dude became threatened. Kinda shrill Wanted to know "Can the guy prescribe, or what? I mean, is he a psychiatrist, or what? Because 1800mg of Gabapentin is the HIGHEST for Gabapentin unless it's being used for seizure disorder, so what is this guy doing, anyway?"

I had to be the calm one. I felt like med dude's mom. Except my own son never loses cool like that, because he wouldn't have his super-high-stress job if he did.

I backed up. *Empower Dude* I suggested that we start with me giving Dude Dr. D's name. Med dude liked that. Then he scrolled on his phone and discovered that Xanax can be successfully used as part of the Ashton Method. He scrolled some more and admitted that Gabapentin can be raised much, much higher to treat not only anxiety, but a number of medical conditions and that yes, we could raise it at some point (BS, if Dr. D. would raise it tomorrow, great, I'm at that pharmacy with my hand out).

Let's face it: I am one of med dude's guinea pigs. He did agree (praise the Lord in all His mercy) to raise the Topomax to 100mg/day and "check back in 2 weeks."

And that, dear ones, is the story of today's chapter of Med Dude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I know! Co-ops used to be a place to save money now they are so expensive. There’s times I really miss how I used to live but geez I can’t afford that life style now! I’m glad you’ve got a good grocery store that’s so kind.

Oh,hoho! Back in the '70's I used to work 90 minutes at our food coOp for a bag of groceries, anything I chose to fill the bag. Anytime I wanted to work. Also, I was a calligrapher and sign painter so I hand-lettered signs and traded them for food. Those were the days! Then the '80's hit and THAT era. Need I say more... But yes, I do feel extremely lucky to have the dear Nugget Market here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I got some good news today. The re-order of my Emsam has made it to my pdoc and I can pick it up when I have my biopsy next week. I have to cut patches until then but that will be fine, just a little stressful because I have trouble figuring out the best way to cut them to get my dose. But once I do it once I'll remember. This does make the biopsy easier to look forward to; at least one good thing will happen that day. I looked it up and it took a week for the pathology at this hospital with my last biopsy so I'll need some distractions for the week after the procedure. I need a new Christmas tress so maybe I can find one and get that set up. So far I've only looked at Walmart and didn't like any that they had in my price range. So relieved. I can't even begin to explain how glad I am that the patches are in safe-keeping for me. ETA: I also got the bill for my MRI. I was really worried because the MRI costs nearly $7000 and I had no idea how Medicare would adjust for it. But today I got the bill and it was not bad. More money than I'd like to spend at Christmas but a lot less than I expected it to be. I can manage that cost twice a year. It's supposed to be once a year but has to be clean once to go to that schedule. I wish I'd kept track of my medical costs this year. Sheesh.

All such good news, Rainbow I'm really glad you're getting the Emsam.

I wonder if you're pdoc would do telehealth with me

Another shooting.... Looks like an employee went postal on his coworkers. There was a guy like that at my last job. My coworkers would joke all the time that he was going to come shoot up the place one day. He did have issues but I think he was pretty much harmless. Me and him were polite to each other. But it obvisouly happens in places.

Very true. I’ve made some wrong choices with psych meds (Zyprexa with the weight gain for one - but they had already put me on Seroquel which had caused massive weight gain to begin with so it didn’t do too much more damage) but I think it’s easier to deal with when it’s you making the choices and taking the risks with the side effects and choosing what you will and won’t accept.

It won’t let me edit my post for some reason…. Just wanted to clarify I’ve made some bad choices but also some really good ones. If you can find a psychiatrist that will let you make some choices stick with them coz it’s a great way to do things!

Hubby and I had a pleasant afternoon. We managed to finally meet the parrot and zoo neighbor. We gave her 5 kg of the carrots. Soon after stepping into her compound I felt something rubbing against my leg. I looked down and it was...the lynx I mentioned a while back. I touched Hubby's arm and motioned downwards as it rubbed against his leg, too. Apparently "Gerry" was a rescue and is clearly quite a spoiled "kitty" (diminutive) as the neighbor calls him. During the visit she was petting him and even kissing him on the head. When he got annoyed at some things, he hissed, and the neighbor scolded him. We thought it best not to pet Gerry, but weren't really scared by the frequent leg rubs. It's so horrible that people think it's "cool" to adopt an animal like a lynx and not even know how to properly care for it. The zoo (neighbor and colleagues) had to save Gerry who was dangerously calcium deficient. Many animals are illegally smuggled in to various countries. And of course other rescues were also neglected with many traumatized.

The neighbor took us to see dozens and dozens of parrots of all kinds (budgies to amazons to macaws and cockatoos and more). She even had two kookaburras, which upon seeing I started to sing the song my great grandma taught me. It's a major place where she has employees and a veterinarian that are regularly there to help. Most birds are rescues. We also saw that she had two servals (another type of cat), but they were in very large caged areas. Her set up is nice for all of them, especially the servals. She said that "Gerry" sleeps in the house on the sofa. She also said that in the past, at one point she took care of four lion cubs on the property. Yesterday Hubby and I virtually "adopted" a parrot in need by making a contribution. She knew about it. I'm sure the neighbors all think she's a bit nutty.

Oh soupe, how cool.

Wow Beth, way to manipulate med dude into a better place.

Yeah, I worked full time as a CNA so my husband would work at the Co-op for non-burger bucks. Money that could be used at the Co-op restaurant. It was nice. Almost any evening we could walk down to the co-op and have a delicious cooked nutritious meal. Bonus, no dishes to wash! My favorite was breakfast hash that was available anytime. Lots of hot sauce. They had poetry, singing and story telling too. It was an amazing place.