[Victoria'smom]

To paranoid to not delete

[Crazy Hitch]

hope you feel safe

[Victoria'smom]

I am safe. Thank you

[Crazy Hitch]

Take care of you

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs and love to you

[MuddyBoots]

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so broken. I can't even pretend. I don't even realize how broken I am it all seems normal to me.

[Victoria'smom]

So I'm getting use to the " headache", bugs, itchy wrists, and all things that I've been on meds for.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

When will you know about the place you saw the other day? Once you have a place how long will it take to get on meds again?

I hope you can feel better soon.

[Victoria'smom]

Well the landlord hasn't been approved Monday he should then it will be within the week hud will go through approve it. Then we'll sign the lease hopefully by the first.

If it's all signed and moved over before the first. I can change everything over January if not I have to wait until February. As soon as we have an address I can make an appointment. And wait. When either January or February depending on when insurance is changed over I'll be able to make an appointment. So maybe 3 months from now. This has been a ridiculous move. We're not even sure we'll get in to this place.

[Victoria'smom]

So I move in the first. If everything goes well.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

That's great MM!


So glad for you. Hope the next steps go smoothly.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so sick of myself. I want my medicine. I want to go away. I had a good day but just feel done with everything. I'm numb and

Possible trigger:

cut, sex is no longer enough of an outlet

I don't know what to tell my new pdoc when I get one. I don't really want a new one. I've had so many bad experiences. I always feel I'm defending my DX because I don't act sick enough at least at first.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm not doing well found out today it'll be 2-3 months before I see a therapist longer for a psychiatrist. I'm so just done. My head hurts because I'm not eating properly and withdrawing from soda because it's all contaminated. I'm the only one able to cook or clean because it's all contaminated. My head is loud. Me and h are fighting. I have to go to the Ssa office to change my address. My rent is 50 more then it was so is internet. I have no idea how to pay these extra bills oh well.

[Victoria'smom]

3hrs rest is not enough. I need a break. H is calling medical tomorrow/today to see what can be done. I'm hoping there's some type of emergency medical we can be put on. Or if I can find a sliding scale place.

[MuddyBoots]

I really hope you can figure something out. I'm not good with this kind of stuff, but there has to be a way you can get your meds without having to go to the ER.

Saco gives you hugs

[Victoria'smom]

So the soonest I can be seen is April. That's by a PCP then I need a referral to the psychiatrist and therapist. I don't know what to do. I broke down and bought a pizza because Its going to be contaminated anyway.

[Victoria'smom]

My mom called to yell at me about how we left the house so fast and we don't know when we'll be back. But to them things are going so well for us. Yeah because needing furniture for disability and income, being in the verge of tears and crying every night, with bugs and voices, no money to pay insurance, or meds, and sharing outside with rats is my idea of going great but I can't tell them that.

[bizi]

MM, go to the emergency room and get some meds.
you are de compensating and this is a real fear for you.
You will probably be admitted for the harming of yourself.
But you could get your meds this way.
You do sound like you need medical intervention.
so sorry for you.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

We're going to try again tomorrow on the meds. If not I will take zzzquil. I just need sleep.

[Victoria'smom]

So the meds can't be transferred. We'll see what to do next. I ate 2 meals today. So that is good. It's my first true meal in days. Tonight I am going to take Benadryl to try and sleep.

[Victoria'smom]

So the benadryl didn't work and I wanted to take more than the 2 so I didn't bother taking it last night. H wants me to go IP because I broke down last night. I'm going to try one more out patient option that I found. I really don't want to go to the ER because they're more likely to keep me and I'm scared of covid and people. My nephew is coming up. I really don't want my family or his to know I went ip. I don't feel I need IP. Yes I need sleep. Yes my moods all over and I'm hallucinating but I feel it's like throwing a nuke at a disruptive ant hill.

[Victoria'smom]

I have an appointment for the 23. My options are to call the crisis team or go to the ER. Or 14 days of this.

[Victoria'smom]

So as for me: lutuda seems to be working okay. Still have bugs, still get paranoid of people, and while alone, I'm sleeping, slowed down doing things I never thought I'd do like opening doors to accept deliveries, spending hours by myself with out sh-ing.

H: has pnomonia because of high blood pressure that started heart failure. which made his heart dump water into his lungs. It may be reversible but for now he'll be on a bunch of medication Monday is his estimated home date. He lost 8 lbs of water so far.

[bizi]

feel sorry for your husband.
((((HUGS))))
bizi