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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 08:53 AM
  #21
 
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Does anyone else not care really if we were to get nuked or something by China or Russia? Like I am not S at all or even really all that depressed, but like if someone else were to do it for me then I wouldn't really mind that.

Sometimes I feel like that, when not depressed or anything.

I just feel like I have to focus on what I can control in my life and if that happens it happens. I canít control everything in the world.

I also sometimes feel like I wouldnít mind if it happened because life feels like too much sometimes, even though Iím not technically depressed right now sometimes it would feel nice the idea of it all stopping; just oblivion.

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 09:00 AM
  #22
 
Yesterday was a heck of a day. For me personally, it was fine. No more stressful than any other day. The "fun" came from at least two coworkers being stressed to a concerning level. Whatever was preoccupying their minds and winding them up was causing them to make mistakes which wound them up more. No freak-outs, but I had to do a bit of babysitting which is not a natural state for me.

Sunday service today with my mom. Beyond that, my day is free!!

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 09:47 AM
  #23
 
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That's beautiful, Birdie! You've brought him to life!

I hope the walk is just what you need

Thank you, the walk was good but hard , I carried two bags of litter (totaling 14lbs) and some other stuff almost a mile home so that was like a work out lol

I hope you come back/ be active here again someday and I will miss you

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 10:24 AM
  #24
 
I think I've just been watching too much news. I've had CNN on since yesterday morning. I finally turned it off just now. I was getting really frustrated last night for some reason. I woke up at 1:30 and I was getting tired of my music. I found a couple new songs that may do. Finally I was getting tired so I put on Dark Side Of The Moon and as normal it did the trick and I was asleep almost instantly and I didn't wake up until the album ended and by then it was almost 6AM. I have therapy in tommorow. Maybe spilling my guts to her will help. Although I still am not 100% sure what I am upset about.

Some of those GIFs are.... ew.... and some are downright wrong.

I had a bottle of apple cinnamon apple cider vinegar and an Atkins bar for lunch. I feel better mental health wise although I know these are behaviors my therapist wouldn't approve of. She was kinda cranky last week at the lack of food I had eaten before our session.

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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Mar 19, 2023 at 12:28 PM..
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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 11:07 AM
  #25
 
Hey *Beth* youíre an active member here and no one wants to see you leave.

How about the ignore feature whilst you practice self care?

Last edited by FooZe; Mar 24, 2023 at 11:48 PM.. Reason: administrative edit (removed quote)
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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 11:24 AM
  #26
 
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Rosi, do you think you might have fibromyalgia?

I don't know. I have had pain in my arms before. If one has a MI diagnose, my experience is that pain in muscles is attributed to that! This time I am going to be examined by people who do not know of my MI. We have to wait and see how it turns out ...

Thank you for caring!

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 11:33 AM
  #27
 
Beth, if you send send a private post to the persons you think have commited these faults, may be that they have an explanation. Some can only be clumsy with words, be psychotic for the time being or other. Please let them explain themselves ...


You are a kind person and we do not want to lose you from the forum.


Of course we hope for the best for MuddyBoots!


Take care, Beth!

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Last edited by FooZe; Mar 24, 2023 at 11:51 PM.. Reason: administrative edit (removed quote)
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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 01:29 PM
  #28
 
My ky wildcats are
About to play! Go cats!

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 01:41 PM
  #29
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I think I've just been watching too much news.


Yes, sometimes we do that. Me too. You are not alone. When I have had enough, I try to remember to turn it off. It was scary when the American drone was hit in the propeller by the Russians. I thought: "Now it starts", but so it calmed down ... And I hope that it will stay so for a long, long time!

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 02:10 PM
  #30
 
@*Beth* I am sorry you have seen this abuse here on the forums,
I have not. I don't want you to leave as you are a big part of the forum. always so supportive. I guess I am being selfish....please do what ever you want. I will miss you if you leave.
bizi

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 04:28 PM
  #31
 
Well my wildcats lost.

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 04:52 PM
  #32
 
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Ok, Iím all caught up.

Today I had my oil painting class. Ehh it turned out passable. Not a roaring success but passable. The different styles were fantastic. People they really know how to turn a general instruction into a variety of individual styles. The lone gentleman, was quite good. I really liked what he did. Very unique. The lady next to me was very cubist. It really was eye opening how the same picture and the same instructions could be so wildly interpreted. The 5 hours went by so quickly.

Then when I left it was snowing and at the same time the sun was shining! Brrr Bipolar Check-in #74 itís so cold today. Subzero temperatures windchill. Iím now in my chair under a blanket with a poncho my daughter gave me, drinking hot chocolate. Brrr Bipolar Check-in #74

Itís nice being old, I donít worry about things the way I used to. Even ten years ago I would have worried how bad my art was instead of just enjoying it and marveling on the different interpretations. I would have been constantly comparing and finding myself wanting. And feeling insecure and intimidated. Instead I enjoyed myself and chatted with those nearest me.

Glad you went and had a good time !

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 04:56 PM
  #33
 
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Iím completely over flu and pneumonia. My muscular strength and respiratory strength arenít there yet. It takes very little to tire me or get me out of breath. For you who know me, I do so much better when I stay productive and active. Iím slipping into a depression. Could be that or cutting out Lithium and Vraylar or both factors. Going to get a good nightís sleep tonight and hopefully start fresh tomorrow.

I made plans to meet daughter in Gatlinburg in mid April and meeting for breakfast next Sunday.

This weather is crazy - up and down and sideways and whatnot.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Much love

Glad you are feeling better finally ! Glad you will see M soon. Steve and I need to take a trip to Gatlinburg itís been far to long. I also want to go back to Rock city and the aquarium.

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 05:03 PM
  #34
 
Beth I hope you stay but you need to do what you need to do for your own mental health. Iíve taken breaks before and it really helped.

You know Iím always on Facebook so feel free to hit me up there !

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 05:09 PM
  #35
 
My pain level is ridiculous! My next Skyrizi injection will be on 4/6 Iím just sick of fibromyalgia and PsA

Itís a sleepy kind of day for sureÖBipolar Check-in #74
Gus and his smooched up sleepy face lol

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 06:42 PM
  #36
 
Posting this for Hallie

Hereís her Finnegan Heís such a dork lol Bipolar Check-in #74

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 06:53 PM
  #37
 
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My pain level is ridiculous! My next Skyrizi injection will be on 4/6 Iím just sick of fibromyalgia and PsA

Itís a sleepy kind of day for sureÖBipolar Check-in #74
Gus and his smooched up sleepy face lol

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Awww I just want to reach out and cuddle him.
Iím so sorry you are going though this flare. Geez itís been a long time. I wish you both relief

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 06:54 PM
  #38
 
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Posting this for Hallie

Hereís her Finnegan Heís such a dork lol Bipolar Check-in #74

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 06:58 PM
  #39
 
I think I have to admit the ECT did not work as well as it has in the past. I still feel terrible about myself. I guess thatís something I have to deal with in therapy. Idk. I have to contact my therapist and see if she has any openings for me. If not Iím not going to do therapy anymore. Iím not starting over with a new therapist.

I have one more ECT session on Wednesday and then Iíve voluntarily ended them. That will be 12 total. Iím starting work again on March 27th. I donít see the point in continuing with the treatments if theyíre not helping a lot. Itís just wrecking my memory, I donít need that.

They definitely helped a little just not as much as they have in the past. Iím really over it. Iím tired of taking my medication too. Iím only taking it because I know how things would go without meds on board and Iím not down with that.

Ugh. Iím just so tired of being sick. Iím almost certain Iím going to get fired again and if that happens Iíll be applying for disability. Iíve pretty much exhausted all my career options.

itís a sad state of affairs in my mind right now.

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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 07:38 PM
  #40
 
Sorry for an "academic" reply as I'm new to the forum - but this is a really interesting topic to me as I'm 54 and I've noticed that some people actually seem to get more empathetic with age while others get less. I feel like I became a more angry person when I hit menopause a few years ago, but since that has passed it's a bit better.

Recently I've been reading about ancient stoic philosophy (not what the world "stoic" has come to mean). Part of the philosophy involves never reacting in anger but pausing, processing your emotions and responding (as opposed to reacting) when you are calm, for instance the next day. Modern stoics advise processing your fear and anger by writing in a journal.

I only mention it because I feel like it has really helped me manage my emotions and understand that reacting in anger is never okay, even if the anger is "justified." This means a lot to me as I have felt so enraged at times and it's so easy to get triggered by stuff in the media or online.

Unfortunately many things (including the Internet algorithm which is motivated by getting and keeping our attention) have learned to manipulate us with our negative emotions. It's more important than ever to behave with kindness and empathy.

Last edited by FooZe; Mar 24, 2023 at 11:53 PM.. Reason: administrative edit (removed quote)
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