Bipolar Check-in #74

Feeling devastated after talking to a friend I've had for 5 years. She's dying of cancer (systemwide tumors and brain tumors) and has her medically-assisted death soon. I think she's doing the right thing but obviously I'm very sad to lose her.

Thank you, @Nammu

Huge congratulations, Crazy Hitch! I remember how exciting it was when my husband and I bought our first home. We have our second new home now. Decorating and being surrounded by one's own stuff is what I'm particularly looking forward to.

I hope with the start of spring you will be able to get back on track with your diet and other things. It's a strange time, this transition. Do your best, rosi700. I hope today you feel at least a little better.

@Rosi700, thanks for sharing about the old Bipolar NOS diagnosis and it's new form. So you know, my nephew was diagnosed Bipolar NOS and in my view it's no lesser of a diagnosis than Bipolar type 1 or 2. I happen to believe in the bipolar spectrum. And think that even us with bipolar type 1, like me, have our own "flavors" of the disorder. In the end, the right treatments (therapeutic and medications) are what count so that we may be healthier and happier. As for you not being around as much, I do hope you aren't stepping away only because you need more support than can give. We all sometimes need more support, and that's OK. You've been very supportive since you came here. It CAN be time for you to ask for more of it. But if you need to concentrate on other things, away from here, it's understandable. I do wish you wellness in your mental health journey.

@HALLIEBETH87, congratulations on being accepted to the honor society! You rock! Also best of luck if you do decide on graduate school, or whatever avenue you plan to take now.

@Scooter9, I'm glad you got enough sleep and a great workout. Good for the body and soul, for sure.

@BeyondtheRainbow, I think we all have the right to cancel appointments without explanations, unless it's very frequent. You are an adult and have other aspects to your live. We all do. I once had a therapist that very much invaded my privacy. I didn't like it.

@Samicat, I'm so sorry about your friend and can certainly imagine how painful this time is for you. Not sure what else to write. Sending you hugs.

My sister took my brother to the ER yesterday. He is experiencing many severe medical issues, including uncontrolled A-ib, extreme pain (and likely related issues), and apparently has a serious infection. My sister said they suspect his kidneys may have also been affected. Other than the heart issues, which he had before his cancer diagnosis, it's all likely related to his cancer and the chemo. Perhaps his heart issue is also exacerbated by them. I told her to let me know when our brother might be ready for a phone call. The last couple times I called he was not well enough to talk for long. In the hospital, I'm unsure if he feels up to talking at all. He was kept overnight. I'm unsure when he'll get out. He's already been venting about the cost of his medical bills. And now even more. It's a tragedy that people who are sick also have the discomfort of wondering how to pay for care.



On a positive note, my nephew in the US seems to be excelling at his new job. He attended a conference to represent his company, a task he said he wanted to do. He's very smart and enthusiastic. A great progress after he had three psych hospitalizations in 2022.

1:00am and I’m awake.

Today is the day I’ve been waiting 4 months for!

I finally get to move into my new home.

Too much excitement.

And last minute packing.

Oh Soupe sending good vibes your dads and your brothers way, and sending your sister sparkling vibes. Make sure to take care of you too.

I had my last ECT treatment yesterday. Good. It’s not helping and it just ruins my whole day. I was out of commission for the entire day after I woke up. It’s a shame, CR had an art show and I couldn’t attend. He wasn’t too bent out of shape about it though.

I have to call either Priceline or American Airlines/frontier today. We’re leaving for Florida and I have no idea how to get our plane tickets. They’re already purchased, confirmed and everything but I can’t see how to actually pull up the tickets to have them available when we go to the airport.

I’m so bored. Idk what I’m going to do this summer. I can’t work because CR’s camp doesn’t have before care this year. I would have to be a half hour late to ESY. So no job for me. Hopefully I don’t get fired from my regular job because then I’ll have to adjust my whole lifestyle to live on disability. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, I’m just not used to not working. It would be a big adjustment. But I won’t be shocked if it happens.

I see my dr later and I already know
She’s
Gonna tell me I’m fat and to lose
Weight

I have had my arms examined for 15 minutes. The cost was 106, - $ (What a price?). I have an inflammation in one of my shoulders. He wouldn't give me cortisone because of my Diabetes. I am given exercises to do for about three months. That is the time that is expected for healing. I have bought a rubber-band for the exercises.

Well, at least I can expect to become better in the middle of the Summer. It is good to know what it is.

I am so sorry!

What happened to @Beth? Is she ok?

Yes, that is my view as well, one can have depression one "place" at the spectrum and "highs" at another "place".

It is not only the MI that bothers me, but my physical diseases as well + that the winter has been strong this year with both snow and much rain. The winter period has been so much darker than usual. I also think it is a point to mention that I think the fact that I started to have massages made it painful to be me because muscles can hold a lot of feelings. Manipulate the muscles and the feelings can be manipulated as well. Some old sorrows can feel as new ...

I have become shorter and my muscles have reacted to my skeleton not being as it was before. It was found out today that I have an inflammation in one of my shoulders and that I need to do some specific exercises for about three months to get rid of the pain.

Oh yes, I could need a lot of support for the time being. I feel that it is hard to be me.

I am not going to stop being here. I will only come more seldom. It takes a lot of time to use this forum. I am European, a Scandinavian actually, and to translate my words into English/American can take some time. I need to focus on the way I live my life and get rid of my isolation because of depression. So less computer and a more social life in the outer world is the recommendation from my therapist. I am actually advised to let myself be surrounded by people who give me good feelings (in the outer world).

There is another "thing" to mention. I am going on vacation to Spain (Malaga region at the Sun Coast) in the middle of April and I need to get my depression down before that.

Thank you for asking, Soupe du jour! I hope to read this didn't take too much of your time. You need your time to be ready for the moving.

If I have understood this right, Beth needed a break from this forum because of something that bothered her here. I think, again if I have understood it right, she wanted to think about if she wanted to continue as a member here or if she wanted another forum.

We all hope that she decides to stay, but she has the right to decide for herself. In the meantime the only thing we can do, is to send prayers and good "vibes" her way.

Hey guys,
Been having a hard time getting back into the swing of "life" since my last disappearance. I have my IOP today and I'll probably try to write a little more after that. Basically nothing to report or add -- I'm just here. I got overwhelmed earlier in the month and used distraction a little too heavily and snapped out of it to realize weeks had passed. Distraction is a great tool short term, but it does not fix problems. However, never doubt the power of distraction, I guess I'm saying lol. Having weird dreams every night isn't helping either. Anyway -- I'll try to catch up later. Hope everyone is doing well.

I send my best wishes for your brother, for you and for the rest of your family!

Best wishes for this day!

Last night was super rough. My nausea and heartburn caused by the med my doctor had prescribed was unbearbable. I finally got to sleep and I woke up this morning still with the pain but not with the heartburn or nausea or mental health side effects. I've been doing ok with tylenol and the heating pad today. I think my issue may be all the Atkin bars I've been eating. Sometimes I eat 3 a day. I haven't had any today though.

This morning I ordered a Cinderella onesie for my niece. It has a picture of the mouse Gus on it and it says Gus Gus on the front. I also ordered a couple snack boxes I decided to try. One is called Europecrate and the other is called Munch addict. I used to get snack boxes before I moved and most of them were pretty good.

My pdoc got back to me and said that reglan interferes with my Geodon. So if it were a few days things he would want me to stop the Geodon. But if it were longer then he would want to talk to my doctor.

I'm going to try to manage things on my own first and cut out the Atkins bars and see how I feel. I see my kidney doctor again on Tuesday.

I am actually feeling quite a bit better right now.