Bipolar Check-in #74

Doin' the happy dance today, everyone! I have no retirement save Social Security, since I was unemployed for the majority of my bipolar life. My wife has a pension and her Social Security coming, and she's eligible for both right now. But she is also severely depressed, and had not done what she needed to do in order to get those monies coming in. We started keeping our finances separate in the wake of an outrageous spending binge on my part in about 1995, and I've honored that, and not pried into her finances, since. But we couldn't pay this month's rent, let alone April's. Her credit cards were maxed. I finally got her to get the paperwork done for her pension, and we got that mailed out yesterday. She also called the local Social Security office, since she'd been waiting for two months without word on her SS. She got very prompt action!

She called them yesterday, and while I was running errands this morning, they called back. My wife will start getting her SS in May, and her "catch-up" money amounted to a very nice sum, enough to totally relieve the financial pressure on us. We're boomers, of course, and like so many in our generation, we made no provision and did no planning for our "golden years." We didn't have kids, and have very few immediate family still living.

Now I just have to watch myself and make sure I don't go hypomanic. We've gone through a lot of health issues (and so, of course, money) in the past five years. This is truly a red-letter day, and one of the best and happiest I remember in a long while. So I really wanted to share it with my MSF bipolar brethren and sistren. Life is good.

My sister and I went though more stuff. Finished mum’s suite and started on the spare room. We are just donating clothes and a lot of stuff. There’s only a small pile for the garage sale. Then we found a box of memorabilia mum had of dads. He had a ton of tie tacks and cuff links from his job, the eagles and the vets. Center. No idea what to do with those. We are taking things to the Easter dinner and letting everyone pick something out. We kids all got the silver dollars and the grand kids will get half dollars.

It goes slowly but my sister is easy to work with. Slowly we’ll get it done.

I feel lousy. No energy. Everyone raved about what a nice day it is out. I got out and it was windy. Wha?

@Crazy Hitch:

Glad to hear that you are in your new home and that the move went well. Congratulations!

@Sunflower123:

Glad to hear you got to see your daughter and have another visit planned.

@Mountainbard:

Glad to hear you and your wife are getting your finances sorted out and are feeling some relief.

I feel crappy still. I tried a variety of stuff. Zofran, Pepcid, Tylenol, a heating pad. My mom picked up some Pepto Bismol extra strength tablets today and I took one 45 minutes ago. I haven't had much of an appetite. Everything I eat really hurts my stomach. I sent another message into my doctor but if he wants me to go to the ER then I'm willing to at this point.

Sorry about your father and brother @Soupe du jour, you're in my thoughts.

Well my sleep trend didn't work out, I got up at 4am today. I didn't sleep in the morning so maybe tonight will be better.

I was supposed to go to the gym today but things didn't work out that way. Maybe I'll do some exercise at home later.

Sorry I’ve been AOL lately. This ungodly psoriasis flare is beyond awful. Worst I’ve ever had . I have plaques forming all over my face. Under my chin and on my chest is now starting. There’s literally nothing that can be done while I’m waiting to see if Skyrizi is helping.

Steve’s really stressing because of the whole skin involvement and the incredible pain in my joints. I try not to complain out loud but I find myself unable to stop these last few days.

I hate Humana for causing this. Zeljanx worked perfectly for skin and joint. They no longer would cover it.

Hi Nammu. Have you considered using E-bay? Just one option. There is also Craig's list, but Craig's list sometimes attracts fraudsters. I know, as I had to sell a lot before my move to Europe.

The big furniture my niece is putting on a board where she works. There’s lots of wealthy people who have access. But the furniture is antique and large so maybe nobody will want it. I’ll look into E-bay. I’ve never used it. Yeah Craig’s list scares me. We’re planing on having a garage sale as mum got rid of her good stuff just before covid.

Garage sales can really yield good sales. Consider advertising on the special community garage sale lists, if you have any. You get not only garage sale lovers and people looking for deals, but often also antique or collectibles dealers.

If you get to a point where you need to give stuff for free, there's also lots of options.

Christina, I'm sending huge wishes that you can stop and reverse the psoriasis flare. I read about how miserable it can be. Cyndi Lauper's story.

Thanks so much. Yes her story has helped people to reach for help. It truly is awful on so many levels.

Congratulations on moving into “ you’re home” after such a long time. Enjoy enjoy enjoy !

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Yes, it was cyndi’s story that woke me to the pain and horror of that illness. Christina I send you even more healing vibes. Can’t you appeal Humana s decision? Seems soooo wrong.

Thanks !!!

Humana flat removed the medication even with pre Auth. My Rheumatologist sees this happen over and over with the vast majority of his patients with any type of arthritis. Humana can flat refuse because they offer numerous of meds. Finding a biologic med that works is pretty tricky.

It’s just so dumb !

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Damn that’s cold. That must frustrate the doctors too. Frankly I wouldn’t want to be a doctor in America because of congress and insurance interference

It really is a mess for Doctors so much wasted time and need for medical staff to push “ electronic paper “

I worked for Doctors from teens until late 40’s and part of my job was filling out appeals and more often than not everything would be approved if enough hoops were jumped through. Sadly insurance companies really dictate a Doctors ability to offer medical care now.

Things need to change but honestly I don’t think things will improve at this point. Just like all of us here run into road blocks getting our psych meds at some point.

Terrible

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Life seems so cruel. My friend is dying and has already lost much of her cognition. I have spoken to her for the last time.


We have so few people in life we really get close to and connect with. She was one of my people, my "tribe." I did have some trouble with her religious beliefs and of course those become very prominent now that she is dying and is surrounded by people from her congregation. I wasn't even going to attend her funeral but another friend is going and I said I would. There will be a lot of talk about where she is now. But the truth is that nobody knows. So I will tolerate all the rhetoric. Wherever she will be, she will live in my memory.

@Samicat

Samicat Im so sorry your losing your friend. I wish you comfort

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I’m
Sorry for your loss

The metformin may help you lose weight!!!!

My move has been delayed by another three or four days. Figures! But we need to be out of the rental by Friday, at the latest. That kinda stops my momentum in terms of packing. Most of my kitchen stuff, including pantry food, is in boxes. We went to the property yesterday and even brought some stuff. Not even one single room was 100% ready. I never worked that way. I always prefered to at least fully finish parts of a project for the sake of mental reward. This prevents us from filling any room with much of anything yet.

There's a silence from my family. My sister didn't get back to me yesterday and my brother and dad are likely too sick to talk. I tried calling the latter two and no one picked up. Sis and I more often text through Whatsapp. I'll hear from her today, I assume. I know she's been having problems with her phone.

Ohhhh, how frustrating and worrying.

I think a lot of us with mental illness have too few people to connect with. I sadly understand your situation. And we do all need plenty of support and understanding from others. It's a tough struggle we have. Speaking for myself, one of the hardest tasks is trying to meet others' expectations. That, and me being an introvert, has made it difficult to make new friends that I've lost. Being here at MSF is clearly at least one extra place for support. And yet there are still fights here, occasionally. That's certainly not what we need.

My condolences for your significant loss of a close friend. I'm sending hugs during your grieving period and strong wishes that you soon find another to connect with well. Based on what you wrote, you seem open-minded and tolerant of other people's views (re: your friend's religious beliefs). That's such a good trait in a friend.

So I’m such a spaz I backed out of my grandmothers (curved) driveway and went in the wrong direction. I backed over her mailbox knocked it over. The only comfort I take is that the pole was rotted through so it didn’t take much to knock it over. She’s not mad but I feel like a jerk. It just adds to my general low feeling about myself. Plus my car is pretty heavily scratched. I don’t really care about that but RS does.

Oh well. It’s done with. RS is at a fishing tournament today which adds to my general terrible anxiety as well. I wish I could get some Xanax from my new pdoc but I don’t feel comfortable asking for a benzo at the first meeting. I’m afraid he’ll think I’m drug seeking. It really would be helpful though, I had a panic attack last night and was very uncomfortable until my seroquel kicked in and put me to sleep.

There’s a daffodil festival tomorrow in the next town over. It’s supposed to be a very nice day so we’re gonna go and walk around.

I go back to work Monday. I don’t really know if I’m in a fit state to work but I don’t really have a choice. If I’m not going to continue with ECT treatments and I’m not going to do a program I have no excuse to stay home. And I’m surely not going to do a program, I just got out of one in august.

I can’t describe how I feel right now. Just low. That’s the only way to say it.