Bipolar Check-In #78

Time to start a new post. I'll request the prior one be closed.

Thank you.

Caught up on my sleep. According to my cpap app I slept 15 hours! Was groggy and funky this morning. I felt better once I had coffee.

N3 emailed me his physics paper. It was about how to drop an egg from the 3rd floor of a parking garage and not have it break. He used a pvc pipe and foam. Lots of math involved. Interesting. He said he just took another exam which he got 98% and the last thing is the final exam which will replace the previous lowest exam score- 86%- for the final grade.

I'm doing ok today. Kinda low in energy. My mom and I went to a smoothie shop and I got low cal protein shakes for us. I wasn't in the mood to do much else except laze around. I wasn't tired or feeling sick though. We got Chipotles for dinner and I got their plant based meat and I ate about half of it and I've been in and out of the bathroom since. As my dad would have said "it blew through my asshole." He had a lot of those sayings. My mom didn't like them especially when he said them when my siblings and I were around. But I seem to be the only one whos picked up on them.

Anyways today was just normal I guess. I feel ok overall.

I cant take the trintellix. omg the nausea. it made me throw up at work today.

Things have been good. Haven't had any symptoms for a long time. My CPAP takes care of my sleep which I think was the root cause of my bipolar disorder. I am no doctor, but I know my body and when I don't get sleep that's when all the trouble happens.

I just got a new cpap machine a month ago. I’ve been using cpaps since about 2014. I find that it does help me sleep better but right now I’m having trouble falling asleep. I have an app on my iPad that records the number of apnea events, times I take off the mask, how many times the seal on the mask is bad and how long I sleep. It can’t help if you don’t actually sleep with it.

Was so lovely seeing all 3 of my kids together again ❤️

I am so sorry. I HATE throwing up.
bizi

What percentage of people are nauseous on Trintellix?



Nausea is the most common side effect and is more likely at higher dosages, occurring in up to 32% of people taking Trintellix 20 mg/day. Other gastrointestinal side effects include diarrhea, dry mouth, constipation, and vomiting.Dec 28, 2022.
I googled this and this is what came up.
bizi

That's a lot of queasiness. I'm gonna design a rollercoaster and call it Trintellix (copyright infringement?)

lol 😂 lol

I’m not really sure why I keep having these panic attacks. Yesterday was bad.

I’ve increased my Cymbalta to 60mg. It takes 2-4 weeks to see relief. I’m day 8.

I’m feeling antsy when alone unless I’m texting or on the phone or seeing people in person. I’m definitely an extrovert. Might also be anxiety side effects from Lunesta.

I went to my mom’s and helped her decorate her place for Christmas. It was nice. I put Christmas music on my iPad while we worked. She invited me for dinner and we had omelets and bacon. Very tasty.

I got some mail from social security and department of health and human services. I hope it’s just telling me I’m going to get an increase in my SSI in January and that I need to reapply for food stamps (I already did). I’m going to wait to open them until I can at least talk with my case manager on the phone - hopefully on Monday.

I hope things work out for you moose!
bizi

I'm just plowing along today. Not feeling 100% either way. I finally turned off the news. The Texas stuff was upsetting me too much. I'm waiting for a package but I thought the post office didn't deliver on Sundays. I wish it would at least snow instead of just looking dull and gray outside.

@Moose72 Sometimes I get claustrophobic with the mask which I just started noticing lately, so I sleep with it loosely on occasion which means air can escape. There were periods where I would take off the mask in the middle of the night too, and trouble falling asleep as well. The hydroxyzine/melatonin combo help with that a lot. It is true my CPAP helps a lot with my sleep but if I can't initially get to sleep without the help of my meds it would be useless. What kind of new CPAP did you get? I have a ResMed 11.

Still feeling the same yet this evening I feel oddly drugged. Got up late because I laid down after I woke up and sort of fell back asleep. When I woke up at first, I felt groggy and lightheaded and queasy. I went to the bathroom because I thought I might vomit. However things calmed down but my mouth did begin to water like it does before you throw up. Around five I was feeling pleasantly dozey lying on the couch. No way could I sleep or I’d be up at 1 a.m. or some time else just as horrifying.

I have a Resmed Airsense 11. I sometimes get claustrophobic with my mask too- it covers my mouth and nose.

I am so frustrated.

I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes in May and told to lose weight to try to get my numbers down. I've worked hard and lost 25 lbs. It would have been more if I hadn't been sick from changing my clozaril dose repeatedly over several months but it still seemed pretty good. And my pdoc told me my A1C had dropped from 5.9 to 5.4 so out of pre-diabetes range. She did not tell me my fasting sugar was 125, so UP from my last labs. I have another 6 months to try to get that down and if I can't I'll be diabetic. My doctor did say I've done everything right but I feel like I've failed. He said if I weren't already on metformin I probably would have been diagnosed by now and that sometimes it is just genetics. Diabetes is strong in my family even without the weight from APs. So maybe it's inevitable but I thought I could fight it off. I don't want to deal with diabetes on top of everything else.

I'm also frustrated about needing another breast biopsy. The others have all been for masses. This one is for calcifications so it's a little different and so I feel less confident. It's still probably benign but I'm just tired of having to go through this. To make it worse I already had to schedule a month out from my abnormal mammogram because our dog had knee surgery and can't be alone very long. He can be alone in his crate but the 2 times he's been alone for very long he's had accidents, probably from anxiety. He's had someone with him nearly constantly for over a month now and is no longer used to being alone. So unless my mom can get my sister to come stay with him the day of my biopsy I may have to either re-schedule or stay in the hotel a couple days (night before so I can get the shuttle and not drive after the procedure and then the night after). I usually feel pretty crummy after the biopsies. They are a minor procedure but for some reason my body isn't fond of them. It's probably adrenaline let-down. So even driving home the day after I'd be tired. It's a 2.5 hour trip so that's a consideration.

And my car has been in the shop for a week waiting for repairs from hitting the deer and I've not heard anything yet. I'll call them tomorrow for an estimate on the time but I hate borrowing my mom's car. I'm so afraid something will happen while I have it. We have to decide about getting a rental car again this week because I have to be at my sister's for 3 days helping out.

I just am overwhelmed. Too much stress from too many things. I feel like my mood is dropping but I think it's just anxiety. I've even had chest pain which my family doctor checked and said he was pretty sure it was anxiety.

I just need to catch a break. I feel like I've been trying to stabilize among chaos for a month now.