Bipolar Check-in #79

BeyondtheRainbow · May 15, 2024 at 03:42 PM

@raspberrytorte I'm having a lot of trouble with lethargy and no motivation since starting just 50 mg of Seroquel. I'm not depressed at all, I just can't do anything. The thing is that otherwise it makes a HUGE difference for me. I didn't even know my head could be quiet until I was on this combination. I talked to my pdoc about this and I'm tracking some things for a few weeks and then I'll probably be backing of gabapentin a little (like 100-200 mg) because I'm on a high dose of that and she said it could be the culprit as well as cause weight gain. I know going down on gabapentin didn't work for you recently and I'm scared to try it but I need to feel like doing things again. Today I went to Walmart by myself and that was a HUGE accomplishment.

I hope we can both feel better!

Scooter9 · May 15, 2024 at 06:02 PM

I skipped 2 doses of Vraylar and the swelling in my feet is improving. My knees and hands, too.

It's not gone yet, but improving.

I'm really disappointed that Vraylar didn't work out. My anxiety is much better and I was looking forward to a dose increase to maybe get at my depression.

BeyondtheRainbow · May 15, 2024 at 06:06 PM

Sorry @Scooter9 I had exactly the same side effects on risperdal both times I tried it and both times it was helping me.

So frustrating! I hope your next med is your solution.

MuddyBoots · May 15, 2024 at 06:25 PM

"I had a night, I had a day
I did one million stupid things
I said one billion foolish things
I'm not okay"

Not a fan of that song, but I feel the lyrics

unaluna · May 15, 2024 at 07:24 PM

My usual song is, hey i did one thing today.

Im going for a 100 pct improvement to two things per day.

Mountaindewed · May 15, 2024 at 09:46 PM

I got some Align delivered from Walmart. My GI told me yesterday to try it. I was in the bathroom long enough to concern my mom so I took the first one tonight. I'm hoping I can get rid of my other stomach meds and just take this.

Mood wise things have been ok but my anxiety has been rough today.

My mom was kind of annoyed that I was "protecting" my cousin who is not talking to my uncle because of a bad divorce from 2008. Its not that I was protecting her or sticking up for her, its just you can still like the person just not their behavior. Plus theres a lot of other people involved in this situation besides that one cousin.

raspberrytorte · May 15, 2024 at 10:34 PM

@BeyondtheRainbow

Yeah. I absolutely CANNOT reduce my gabapentin dose. I feel so much better anxiety wise now that I'm back on 800mg 4x. As in, no anxiety at all anymore. It sucks seroquel is making me so fat and lethargic and lazy because I have zero psychosis on it. No paranoia. No negative entity. No questioning my reality. No snapping my wrists with rubber bands to make sure I'm not dreaming. No hallucinating my family being home when they're not. No fear of reflections.... you get the idea.

I'm weaning my own fat *** off it though. I'm on 50mg of loxapine still. That's just going to have to be enough to keep the entities at bay. I'm too close to 200lbs for comfort. At this rate I'll be 300lbs by next year! Unacceptable. Not good. Not okay. I have to take matters into my own fat hands.

Moose72 · May 16, 2024 at 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

@BeyondtheRainbow

Yeah. I absolutely CANNOT reduce my gabapentin dose. I feel so much better anxiety wise now that I'm back on 800mg 4x. As in, no anxiety at all anymore. It sucks seroquel is making me so fat and lethargic and lazy because I have zero psychosis on it. No paranoia. No negative entity. No questioning my reality. No snapping my wrists with rubber bands to make sure I'm not dreaming. No hallucinating my family being home when they're not. No fear of reflections.... you get the idea.

I'm weaning my own fat *** off it though. I'm on 50mg of loxapine still. That's just going to have to be enough to keep the entities at bay. I'm too close to 200lbs for comfort. At this rate I'll be 300lbs by next year! Unacceptable. Not good. Not okay. I have to take matters into my own fat hands.

I am on loxapine but I am guessing that my inability to pee was due to it.

Mountaindewed · 12:31 PM

This morning around 2AM I threw up in my sleep. I was just dreaming about my hot PT when I all of a sudden needed to throw up and I had like sleep paralysis or maybe I got caught in my blankets, because I was stuck and starting to choke. Finally I was able to roll over on my side and I yakked the ensure I had at midnight all over my comforter. Then I sat up and started coughing. I went into the bathroom and threw up a bit some more. Then I cleaned up my bed the best I could but I'll have to wash my comforter. Then I fell right back to sleep until 6AM.

Today I feel decently I guess. My stomach is a bit off though. Mood wise I'm ok.

I'm eating less and throwing up but gaining weight. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Does anyone know what this could be?

raspberrytorte · May 16, 2024 at 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I am on loxapine but I am guessing that my inability to pee was due to it.

I used to be on, I think it was, 150mg of loxapine, but I weaned myself down to 50mg because it was making me lethargic. Then we increased my seroquel and now I'm having the same problem on seroquel except seroquel is making me gain tons of weight!!!

Ugh!!!

Can't win. I think I'd rather be back on more loxapine and less seroquel if I'm being honest. Or SOMETHING that's not going to turn me into a lethargic whale!!! If only Haldol hadn't stopped working. Sigh.

raspberrytorte · May 16, 2024 at 02:26 PM

@Mountaindewed

That's odd.

Could it be fluid retention?

MuddyBoots · May 16, 2024 at 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

This morning around 2AM I threw up in my sleep. I was just dreaming about my hot PT when I all of a sudden needed to throw up and I had like sleep paralysis or maybe I got caught in my blankets, because I was stuck and starting to choke. Finally I was able to roll over on my side and I yakked the ensure I had at midnight all over my comforter. Then I sat up and started coughing. I went into the bathroom and threw up a bit some more. Then I cleaned up my bed the best I could but I'll have to wash my comforter. Then I fell right back to sleep until 6AM.

Today I feel decently I guess. My stomach is a bit off though. Mood wise I'm ok.

I'm eating less and throwing up but gaining weight. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Does anyone know what this could be?

My guess would be that most of what little makes it past your stomach is sitting in your intestines causing the weight gain. It would make sense your body is holding onto as much water as it can since it's losing so much.

MuddyBoots · 07:07 PM

I don't like this. I think I'm okay, and then all of a sudden it's like a ghost takes any life out of me and I'm just a shell. I've been on some crazy rollercoaster for so long, and in one moment BAM I'm floating as nothing more than an idea in a vacuum.

I have to go call my CM because I do NOT feel safe right now.

edit: I have not stopped crying for like two hours now

Possible trigger:

I am done with breathing and pumping blood around, and seriously want to stop.

HALLIEBETH87 · May 16, 2024 at 05:31 PM

Im enjoying my death and grief class. its an intensive 3 week course. i went to ones friends funeral last night and have another to attend on sunday. so sad. and my friend lost her baby at 36 weeks. its awful.

raspberrytorte · May 16, 2024 at 08:09 PM

My husband and daughter kidnapped me this afternoon and took me to the park with them, when all I wanted to do was isolate in the bedroom. They made me walk up a really steep hill. I was like, "You guys have got to be kidding me! I can't walk up that steep hill!" And my husband was like, "Come on. You can do it!" And I did it. And felt like I was going to die.

But it was fun 😁.

Ugh. I'm so pissed at myself. My metformin and 200mg seroquel tablets look very similar, and I wasn't paying close enough attention last night and accidently didn't take my metformin instead of my seroquel! I thought I fell asleep too easily. Fudge. So TONIGHT I'm not taking my seroquel. I actually paid attention. Hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep okay.

I'm still taking my 100mg during the day for now because I don't want to get sick. I've gone off seroquel before. I know how nauseating it is.

BeyondtheRainbow · May 16, 2024 at 08:21 PM

I just got my lab results in the patient portal. I have had slightly elevated glucose and A1C levels for about 18 months. I dropped my A1C to a good level in the fall and he didn't order a repeat of that. But I got my fasting glucose results and I'm diabetic. My glucose was still just over normal but he had told me that I couldn't keep sliding. So I guess I'm enjoying carbs from now until I see him next week.

I'm so sad. I have worked so hard and lost a lot of weight (which stopped when I needed Seroquel) and have exercised and I still didn't fix this. With my family history combined with APs this was very likely but I hoped to delay it longer.

Oh, and my meds keep me numb enough I can't cry which is all I really want to do right now.

This sucks.

raspberrytorte · May 16, 2024 at 10:18 PM

@BeyondtheRainbow

I'm sorry to hear that. 😔

It really sucks when your meds make you too numb to cry.

BeyondtheRainbow · May 16, 2024 at 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

@BeyondtheRainbow

Yeah. I absolutely CANNOT reduce my gabapentin dose. I feel so much better anxiety wise now that I'm back on 800mg 4x. As in, no anxiety at all anymore. It sucks seroquel is making me so fat and lethargic and lazy because I have zero psychosis on it. No paranoia. No negative entity. No questioning my reality. No snapping my wrists with rubber bands to make sure I'm not dreaming. No hallucinating my family being home when they're not. No fear of reflections.... you get the idea.

.

I understand completely. I had to cut my clozaril dose in half this year because my levels were toxic and that's why we added the Seroquel, just to get a little boost and (mostly) to help me sleep. But the combination of APs has done something no other med alone or in pairs has done. But even the 50 mg is causing problems. I'm going to try the gabapentin reduction if that's what she decides knowing that I can use what I taking as a PRN (I assume, gotta clear that with her).

I wish there were one magic pill that covered all APs, ADs, mood stabilizers and anxiety. It would be a pretty color too instead of my dull meds.

MuddyBoots · May 16, 2024 at 10:22 PM

They have a med like that. Not a pill. Propofol

no psychosis, mania, depression, or anxiety on that stuff

BeyondtheRainbow · May 16, 2024 at 10:24 PM

@MuddyBoots well, I guess that's true.....I was thinking of something without my own personal anesthesiologist (or in Michael Jackson's case random unqualified doctor).. But it's true that does give you a break for a bit

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Bipolar Check-in #79

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MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 5,431 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,343 hugs given	May 15, 2024 at 06:25 PM #924 "I had a night, I had a day I did one million stupid things I said one billion foolish things I'm not okay" Not a fan of that song, but I feel the lyrics __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here]

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,881 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.6k hugs given	May 15, 2024 at 07:24 PM #925 My usual song is, hey i did one thing today. Im going for a 100 pct improvement to two things per day.

raspberrytorte Insert Smiley Face Member Since Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 6,163 9 8,756 hugs given	May 16, 2024 at 02:26 PM #931 @Mountaindewed That's odd. Could it be fluid retention? __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "I'm scared. I'm old. I want to go home!" 😁 - anonymous

HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,570 20 2,808 hugs given	May 16, 2024 at 05:31 PM #934 Im enjoying my death and grief class. its an intensive 3 week course. i went to ones friends funeral last night and have another to attend on sunday. so sad. and my friend lost her baby at 36 weeks. its awful. __________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin

raspberrytorte Insert Smiley Face Member Since Mar 2015 Location: USA Posts: 6,163 9 8,756 hugs given	May 16, 2024 at 10:18 PM #937 @BeyondtheRainbow I'm sorry to hear that. 😔 It really sucks when your meds make you too numb to cry. __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "I'm scared. I'm old. I want to go home!" 😁 - anonymous

MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 5,431 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,343 hugs given	May 16, 2024 at 10:22 PM #939 They have a med like that. Not a pill. Propofol no psychosis, mania, depression, or anxiety on that stuff __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here]