[LadyShadow]

So, as the title says, I have dipped into a low. My ex has finally faced the consequences of his actions. After two disappearances in two weeks on drug binges he finally is getting kicked out of the community residence he is living in and is now being sent to a homeless shelter. I have blocked all numbers outside my contacts so no unknown numbers can contact me. I know it's the right move.

Where I should feel relief, I feel despair. I have gained 50 pounds in the past two months due to stress and complications with the thyroid surgery I had. I am falling into such a deep depression I can't come out. I feel awful, I feel fat and disgusting and pathetic. I hate everything about myself.

I don't know maybe this is a rant because I am sinking, but I am falling. I have so much to be grateful for, but I feel horrible.

I can't even pray because even God is disgusted by me.

[Crazy Hitch]

(((LadyShadow)))) please be kind and compassionate to yourself. You wouldn't talk to your best friend this way, so why torture yourself?

I find the STOP technique useful when my thoughts spiral down LOW as you have described. You can do a bit of research on the internet but basically recognise your negative thoughts and
Stop
Take a breath
Observe around you
Put it into perspective

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

(((LadyShadow)))) please be kind and compassionate to yourself. You wouldn't talk to your best friend this way, so why torture yourself?

I find the STOP technique useful when my thoughts spiral down LOW as you have described. You can do a bit of research on the internet but basically recognise your negative thoughts and
Stop
Take a breath
Observe around you
Put it into perspective

@Crazy Hitch thank you so much for replying! You're the only one who really reached out. So thank you, thank you!

I am feeling much better today, especially after speaking with my therapist. He reminded me about the 20 things on my gratitude list and just a handful of the things that were bringing me down. He really is good, and put a lot of things in perspective.

I've really got to stop whipping myself this way, it serves no purpose. I have always been hard on myself, but when I get into these situations, I take it out on myself even harder. It's nice to know that it is just temporary.

[JaneOnceMore]

Yeah, i saw i young man on the bus once with the saying, "This too shall pass," tattooed in script on the inside of his well-muscled forearm. It really captivated me. What a great thing!

I do sometimes as you, whip myself into a frenzy. But all things pass, and i'm trying not to panic when i feel desperate. Three hours later i am fine, so why suffer even more? I try and just endure, and soon enough i feel okay again. It's a learned skill tho, for sure, and i am a work in progress.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Treat yourself as you would a dear friend. You will not whip a dear friend, so don't whip yourself.