Bipolar Check-in #80

LadyShadow · Jun 01, 2024 at 08:26 PM

In a really good place, but life always shows up to put a damper on things. I am just trying to push through it though. It will be a long time till I actually be with my boyfriend the way I want, especially since I am just enjoying my independence from my last relationship, and that's okay. I do need time in between so I need to be patient.

I love that you love books the way you do @Blueberrybook !! I have forgotten my appreciation for books. I was removed from all technology for 2 1/2 years when I was in jail and then a homeless shelter, and I read so much I found such love for the feel, smell, and just the pages. It was an amazing time.

Symptom-wise they are at a minimum. I am trying to find out about life after bipolar, I don't let it define me or my life anymore.

Mountaindewed · 11:47 PM

I was fine all afternoon although I was a bit crabby from throwing up my AM meds again. Around 6 I couldn't help it and I drank a lime Pepsi. A few minutes later I became sick and I started throwing up the Pepsi and large chunks of eggplant parmesan I had for dinner.

So I seem to have figured out what has been making me sick. I just don't know why. But I'm just gonna have to throw out all my soda since I can't seem to control myself.

The pain and nausea is ok but I don't know how much of that is the dramamine.

I keep having these weird random thoughts. They just come out of nowhere. I know my meds and sleep are way off so maybe its just that.

Did anyone have trouble sleeping on 50mg of Prestiq? My sleep sucks. I'm up most of the night and sleeping 2-3 hours during the day. Before when I was on 25mg Prestiq I slept fine.

June08 · Jun 01, 2024 at 11:44 PM

Yesterday, I called the office of the gynecologist my pdoc referred me to. She is part of a massive chain of clinics-it took two different transfers just to get to the person who could schedule me. But, then this person had to send a message to the nurses at this doctor's location because the doctor told me pdoc she'd see me but she doesn't have any new patient openings for months. I am worried about the finances of all of this-like, if she would want/need to order bloodwork or something-since I wouldn't be going through my insurance. We'll see how it all plays out.

I'm on watch to see if it's time for my monthly use of my risperidone PRNs-The last couple of days I've had some symptoms, but I'm waiting to make sure they are actually bipolar symptoms and not just normal mood stuff. If my agitation from today turns into intense irritability tomorrow, or if the high anxiety I had today turns to paranoia, I'll take the extra 1 mg for a few days.

BeyondtheRainbow · Jun 02, 2024 at 02:58 AM

@June08

If she orders labs or any other tests you can take the lab order to someplace where you are in-network and have it done there. There is no rule that it has to be done at their office or facility. My doctor is affiliated with a hospital but he's an hour away so I never use his hospital and that's always just fine. Just explain and ask for a written slip.

Moose72 · Jun 02, 2024 at 10:32 AM

Chicago friend isn’t answering. I know he’s gotta be up by now! I just went and got cat litter. Running low. It’s 11:30 a.m. I am feeling social but nobody else is! My phone says I walked over 3 miles yesterday- that’s over 8000 steps!

MuddyBoots · Jun 02, 2024 at 12:17 PM

I actually listened to my messages today and my CM says if I pass a drug test when I get a pdoc and don't show a ridiculous amount of impulsive behaviors, the two of them are going to work on helping me become my own rep. payee. I don't even know how tf the gov't allows my mom to do it. Guess she climbs through loop holes pretty well.

But yeah, didn't drink yesterday or today. I can stop when I want to, obviously. Not a true addict. Might check myself into the ER for HI.

raspberrytorte · Jun 02, 2024 at 01:49 PM

Making progress in my novel planning! I am excited. Feeling great! Three and a half hours if sleep last night. Preparing for my afternoon rest period because my afternoon anti-anxiety pills make me a tad sleepy. 🙃 Don't mind though. More time to dream! I love dreaming. Dreams are great. Great inspiration for novels. Or NOVEL. Whatever. Feeling chilled. Having double chocolate chunk brownie ice cream for dinner... (yes! I'm fat, old, wrinkly, ugly and gray now anyway. Might as well own it).

@MuddyBoots

What's HI?

Moose72 · Jun 02, 2024 at 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Making progress in my novel planning! I am excited. Feeling great! Three and a half hours if sleep last night. Preparing for my afternoon rest period because my afternoon anti-anxiety pills make me a tad sleepy. 🙃 Don't mind though. More time to dream! I love dreaming. Dreams are great. Great inspiration for novels. Or NOVEL. Whatever. Feeling chilled. Having double chocolate chunk brownie ice cream for dinner... (yes! I'm fat, old, wrinkly, ugly and gray now anyway. Might as well own it).

@MuddyBoots

What's HI?

Yes @MuddyBoots - what’s HI?

Moose72 · Jun 02, 2024 at 03:21 PM

Got a second coffee this morning- shouldn’t have! I’ve been wired ever since! Want to try to nap again but two hours ago I was having shaking arms/hands! Talked with Chicago friend for quite a while this afternoon but then he got another call and had to go! I ate my leftover burrito from Friday night. It was pretty okay. I have a check up with my primary dr in the morning. I already did my e check in. Now if I can hear my alarm in the morning!

Victoria'smom · Jun 02, 2024 at 03:44 PM

So Victoria's birthday is going to suck just spent her birthday money on food. I have to find $90 for each of their applications next month. I don't want to pay for one and not the other. I'm worried Victoria needs more time writing before doing an MFA like program. I hope I can figure it out. I don't have the $90/month for classes for her.

Moose72 · Jun 02, 2024 at 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

So Victoria's birthday is going to suck just spent her birthday money on food. I have to find $90 for each of their applications next month. I don't want to pay for one and not the other. I'm worried Victoria needs more time writing before doing an MFA like program. I hope I can figure it out. I don't have the $90/month for classes for her.

What’s an MFA program? I hope you can get the money you need.

Victoria'smom · Jun 02, 2024 at 05:09 PM

Quote:

What’s an MFA program?

it's a year long writing program with other writers to turn their work into polished work for publishing.

MuddyBoots · Jun 02, 2024 at 09:10 PM

Raspberry & Moose- HI is the other "-icidal ideation"

Just some fleeting thoughts. I've been avoiding the person it's centered around (and pretty much everyone else for that matter) so we're probably all good.

Moose72 · Jun 02, 2024 at 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

Raspberry & Moose- HI is the other "-icidal ideation"

Just some fleeting thoughts. I've been avoiding the person it's centered around (and pretty much everyone else for that matter) so we're probably all good.

Ah! I see. Been there done that.

bizi · Jun 02, 2024 at 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

What are edibles? Vitamins or something else? I'm not sure I know what you mean. I'm sorry you had such a bad reaction to them.

they are made from pot/weed/ what ever they call them today. they have them go to sleep kind and the other is to keep you high and awake.
bizi

LadyShadow · Jun 02, 2024 at 10:23 PM

Was really tired this morning because I didn't get enough sleep. But that's the usual MO for me these days. Wondering if it will become an issue later on, or if bipolar symptoms will rear it's ugly head again. Managing well so far, slept some at my parent's house this morning, but was really drowsy driving there. I have to really watch what time I take my night time meds if I am going to drive in the morning.

Other than that, I am doing pretty well. Enjoyed a relaxing day at my parent's, they cooked a bunch of food for me to have all week. Having an amazing night talking to my boyfriend about a variety of topics. He's just really smart and knows a lot of things that I love learning about.

Getting ready for work in AM, should be a good Monday.

raspberrytorte · Jun 02, 2024 at 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Ah! I see. Been there done that.

Me too. When I was on Effexor.

raspberrytorte · Jun 02, 2024 at 10:53 PM

I feel so bad.

Daughter and her friend were mistreated at the park today by these nasty kids, then ran into them again, with their big, burly gangster mom at the store tonight (husband said she was even buying beer!) and she got all confrontational with my husband. My daughter feels hurt and terrible. Admitted to her about the time I OD'd while I was manic and psychotic and alone with her and how terrible I felt about that (because she was asking us about things we've done in the past that have made us feel awful), and she said she remembered it (she was like four at the time) but had been really confused, and then gave me a hug and said, "Don't worry. You're a great mom."

I really had been manic and psychotic and sick at the time. I wasn't on an AP. I still feel bad about it though. 😞

raspberrytorte · Jun 03, 2024 at 09:19 AM

Two hours of sleep last night. Awful nightmares. Despite what my therapist says, my husband is convinced I'm a little manic right now (because I've been SO hypersexual and acting out of the ordinary and there's no way I've been ovulating for like three weeks straight! And I haven't been sleeping).

Blueberrybook · Jun 03, 2024 at 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Two hours of sleep last night. Awful nightmares. Despite what my therapist says, my husband is convinced I'm a little manic right now (because I've been SO hypersexual and acting out of the ordinary and there's no way I've been ovulating for like three weeks straight! And I haven't been sleeping).

I think your husband might be right what with being so hypersexual and getting so little sleep at night. When do you see your pdoc again? It might be time for a meds adjustment.

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Bipolar Check-in #80

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MuddyBoots Monster on the Hill Member Since Sep 2020 Location: by the river Posts: 5,213 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,952 hugs given	Jun 02, 2024 at 09:10 PM #153 Raspberry & Moose- HI is the other "-icidal ideation" Just some fleeting thoughts. I've been avoiding the person it's centered around (and pretty much everyone else for that matter) so we're probably all good. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here]