Bipolar Check-in #80

It is awesome you are in good place right now. I'm so happy for you

@Blue_Bird

Yes. How did the interview go?

They said they’ll call if they decide to do a 2nd interview

I haven't thrown up in a couple days. But last night I was throwing up a lot in my mouth and then waking up and coughing. The zofran is working though. I feel a lot better stomach wise.

I had in person therapy. It went well. I have to do a dumb at home yearly visit with my insurance company next month. I do get a $100 Walmart gift card for doing it, but I find these home visits such a pain. Theres the questions part and then a breif medical test.

I'm doing well today I'm just a bit achy and tired for some reason and I woke up once because I thought I had a bloody nose but my nose was just running. That has happened before and then I got Covid 2 days later.

So my stool test results came back. And they came back high. Abnornormal is 120. Mine is 201. I'm pretty freaked out tbh. I'm waiting to hear what the doctor says.

But I've gotten more help and answers from this doctor and hospital in 26 hours then I did in 10 months from the other one.

I had an hour before I could take my zofran. I can take one every 8 hours. And in that 7 hours I threw up several times. Once I took the zofran I felt much better.

Been feeling bugs and seeing weird stuff all week. I know it’s just stress but I didn’t tell new Pdoc bc I don’t know her yet and plus I know it’s due to stress. It’ll go away eventually.

But my it’s annoying!!

Last night, I tried taking just 1 mg of risperidone and had some symptoms again so back to 2 mg today it is. I wonder if part of the reason these symptoms are hanging around longer than usual is because I have extra anxiety about a few different things right now. And, with it being summer vacation, I have to sit with stuff more since I don't have near as much work to distract me.

I was able to do more unpacking in my new classroom today so that helped a little bit.

Still on cloud nine.

Won't be for long though because I have to see my stupid therapist in fifteen minutes and get lectured at about about boundaries and hormones and how I have to see my primary care physician.

Ugh.

Can I just cancel?

Lol

still feeling off today. i made the mistake of emailing my T so now i nervous about what he will say.

grrrrreat. he emailed me back about calling 988 if in emergency which im not in one. im just "off" and needed support. i was too afraid to tell my new pdoc about my hallucinantons and stuff bc i dont knowher yet or how shed react.

I think even if you're afraid about how the new pdoc will react to your hallucinations, it is a good idea to tell her about everything that is going on with you.

My appointment was actually quite pleasant ☺️.

Just laying down for a rest period.

Dreamily thinking about Husband.

*sigh*

Ugh, I've started to have racing thoughts, and I'm having trouble typing this. I think it may be the Lyrica I started taking yesterday. I'm going to stop the Lyrica and see if that helps. I would rather deal with peripheral neuropathy than racing thoughts.

I plan to go to the library this afternoon, and my daughter is driving. She only has her learner's permit and tends to drive way to the right of her lane, nearly hitting the curb. It makes me very anxious when she drives. Hopefully, I get through it. God, I wish I still were on clonazepam.

Blueberrybook - you reminded me that my mom used to drive with her tires on the left lane line. I would sit in the passenger seat trying to shift the car to the right! But then she would run the tires into the curb when she parked, and we always exclaimed, "Daddy's tires!"

You are a saint even to attempt this.

i will tell her next time

OMG, I had a tooth break off at an old filling. I called the dentist, and they can't see me until next Thursday I hope it doesn't mean I'll need another root canal. They don't even do root canals at my dentist anymore. You have to go see a special endodontist for that. I already had to have one root canal and a crown this year, and that cost something like $1200, and that is with dental insurance My teeth are crap. I grind my teeth in my sleep, and I can't keep a nightguard on. Maybe I'll have to try a nightguard again after I get this tooth fixed.

I took my Prilosec and Zofran last night at 6 and then I fell asleep pretty much right away. I woke up at 12:30 in stomach pain so I took 2 Advil and my morning meds and I felt better. Then I got back to sleep until 6.

I feel ok today. Still kinda achy and tired. My mom saw her primary doctor which is also mine. He is the one who reffered me to the other GI doctor. He spent a lot of time talking with my mom about me. And he could tell from my GI doctors note that he wants to do a colonoscopy. I hate the idea of going under. I don't do well with anethesia. Last time it took 2 nurses to help me out, because I was fighting waking up. And I got real bad post procedure depression. I had to call my pdoc. But they are guessing it could possibly be irritable bowel disease or Chrons.

Don't people with Chrons have a look to them? I have this weird long flat stomach and I always thought it was just from getting my G size top surgery done.

If you are having stomach problems, you should not take Advil or any NSAIDs. The doctor told me NSAIDs likely caused my ulcer that perforated, and for that I ended up in emergency surgery and now have a 4-5 inch scar above my belly button. I woke up with something like 15 staples in my abdomen and in severe pain. GI doc told me no more NSAIDs and that leaves only Tyelnol for pain. Tyelnol doesn't do much for pain, but you do not want to risk getting an ulcer on top of everything else and needing major abdomenal surgery. It really sucked and the whole experience (ambulance ride on Valentine's Day because I fainted from everything going on to waking up in such agony that even morphine didn't help) gave me severe PTSD. I hope you find a solution for your stomach issues. Did the doctor get back to you on what your stool sample results mean?

Maybe ask your GI doc if he thinks you can take NSAIDs or not? It's better to be on the safe side with that stuff.

@Blueberrybook

Sorry to hear about your tooth. That really sucks. I'm pretty sure I have a cavity but can't afford to go to the dentist because I don't have dental insurance. Boohoo. Going to have to buy some through the marketplace again.

I hope you make it okay with your daughter driving! Ours is 12, and the thought of her driving in only three years is terrifying. You don't want to be on clonazepam. You don't want to be on any benzo. My psychiatrist who is leaving got me nice and dependent on 30mg of diazepam a day and the likelihood of my new POS psychiatrist keeping me on it is slim and I'm going to have a great time going through benzo withdrawal again in my near future. Yippie. At least I'll lose weight I guess.

Sorry to hear about your racing thoughts. I don't like racing thoughts. Make it hard to sleep. Does Lyrica feel similar to gabapentin? I asked my psychiatrist once if we could switch me from gabapentin to Lyrica and he said no because they're both pretty much the same.

I fell asleep around 10 last night, woke up for 5 minutes or so a couple times to use the bathroom, and didn't really get up until 5pm today, and now it's 7 and I am sooooo ready to get back to sleep. It is not that hot, but it is so humid I'm nauseous. I'm still spotting, no period, and I'm kinda wondering if that's at all connected to how easily I've been bruising lately.

I definitely had a touch of the mania recently, and yesterday was the "transition day" and now it's just "brain rest" AKA brain and I don't do shyt.

Big Celtics party in The Hub tonight. $18 tickets going for $500+. Gotta love ticketmaster.

Oh yawn. SUCH a sleepy, dreamy day. Maybe it was the 300mg of seroquel I took but I'm exhausted. Think I may be crashing. Hopefully not into an episode of depression though. If so, oh well. I'll cycle up again. I'll just spend up to two weeks laying in bed sleeping, zero energy, not showering and listening to depressing music. Lol. I'm just kidding. I'm fine. Just a resting day.

I think I'm so exhausted because it's about that time of the month also.