Questions bipolar version #11

Ability to be understanding and not judgmental. That's the most important to me.

Have you ever tried bipolar group therapy?

I'll chime in about being diagnosed with my diagnoses. After I had my son I completely freaked out and would only allow my mom to hold him and I didn't sleep for like 3 days. Long story short he put me on amitrptiline and Prozac. I finally slept but I was in an organization that were against meds so I took myself off of them. Long story I went back to taking the meds and did do good for awhile. Then I would have deep, deep dark depressions and very elevated hypomanic episodes in the spring and summer. My Dr said I think you have BP but I was like whatever. So in 2011 I found a website that was exposing the organization I was abused in. I didn't eat or sleep for 5 days. I became psychotic. I knew I needed to get away from my computer and went to my sisters work. She ended up taking me to the hospital. The psychiatrist gave me 5 mgs of Zyprexa. It did help with the racing thoughts. But my sister said when we were driving I was taking to myself about who I could trust from the website. She took me right back to the hospital and put me involuntary. I remember pacing and pacing listening to my cds and I thought ppl from the organization I was abused in were spying on me. They were just visitors. Oh it took 3 days to get me to sleep. I think it was a barbituate. I took a ton of tests and I was diagnosed with BP 1 and severe ptsd. Before I was taken off lorazapam I was doing good. Now my biggest problem is anxiety. My psychiatrist put 3 more refills on all of my meds besides clonazepam.. I think he's going to start taking me off. I very scared!

Also I use my phone to post here. It's really hard to fix mistakes. I'm sorry. It's probably annoying.

@Manarinorange I think you might have posted in the wrong thread. It's no big deal but I just wanted you to know why you might not get too many responses.

Q: Have you ever tried bipolar group therapy?

A: No, I've never been anywhere it was offered. If there was one in the city where I go for therapy my therapist would have signed me up in a minute.

Q: Along the same lines......have you ever participated in a NAMI educational class?

No but my mother and aunt did together. My cousin and I both have bipolar. And both of us were gone out of state. They both said it was extremely helpful to them. But I’ve been irritated with them for not offering groups to individuals with mental illnesses they just have groups for the families here. The closest group to here is in another town 50 miles away at odd times. I did go to the DBSA group when I lived in the cities, but that was way back before they changed their name. They used to be the major depression and manic depression association. It was a good group. But there’s none where I live currently.

Do you live in a mental health desert?

I think there was a double question, so I will answer both.

Q: Along the same lines......have you ever participated in a NAMI educational class? Yes, they were really good too! I took a lot of them when I lived in New York - being part of NAMI was really helpful, especially when it there was so much to do because it was such a big city. I especially enjoyed all the NAMI Walks at Jones Beach every year - got to meet a lot of cool people and enjoyed the exercise!

Q: Do you live in a mental health desert?

Right now, I do. I live in a small city away from the main Capitol and there isn't much here at all. I know I have to do telehealth therapy because there are just no in-person therapists here or anywhere it seems anymore. And if they do, they charge an arm and a leg and doesn't accept my insurance. Even though I am feeling the lack of mental health support in my area, and it isn't exactly the same thing, my AA homegroup offers a lot of support in the other areas that I am lacking.

So, along those lines, do you have a dual diagnosis? Have you suffered with addiction since having bipolar?

No. Although because when I was manic I often did risky things like drink a lot, used cocane and other drugs I often got the duel label and put into drug and a groups. But the people there knew I didn’t belong. When depressed or stable I did no drugs and did not drink more than two drinks in a night out. So I’ve experienced na and such as a requirement or as an option to get out of the hospital for a couple of hours. Way back when they kept you for weeks they’d let you sign out for groups and such. One doctor gave me a daily hour pass so I could walk my energy off.

Because I’m not a yes or no for. This question, same question

You know it (as in, you do know)

Even when you generally feel unsafe in the environment (whether from suicidality or paranoia or whatever), is there a place you can go (physically or mentally) to feel that security again?

Locked in my little house, in my bed with my 22 lb weighted blanket on me. Or in my therapist or pdoc's office. It took a long time to feel that way about my therapist but now I do.

Have you gone on or will you go on a vacation this year?

Nope, haven't gone anywhere - might plan a trip to Los Angeles next year though. : )

Have you felt worse bipolar symptoms in the summer rather than the other seasons?

This year, yes, since I had a manic episode last month, and usually I make it to late Nov./early Dec. without manic symptoms...BUT I have really bad depression, suicidal ideation dozens of times daily in the spring, and the SI was much worse than the mania, so spring would have to be my absolute worst so far this year.

If you have sleep difficulties, have you always had trouble with your sleep since you were a kid?

I think I was okay sleeping when it was...well...okay to sleep. It was pretty loud in the house though and sometimes people got a little rowdy. I'm really sensitive to noise and get scared easily so if I heard footsteps or things/people falling I'd have a hard time.

If you could master any instrument immediately, which would it be and what kind of music would you mainly play with it?

The Armonica and I’d play Professor Child’s collections of English ballads and nirvana songs.

Same question

The piano. I've always wanted to play the piano! I tried to teach myself but landed up giving my piano away as I didn't really progress and it was just taking up space.

Are you a sweet or savoury person?

Sweet.

Did you watch the Olympics and it you did what was your favorite sport?

No, I didn't watch the Olympics this year, but when I've watched it in the past, I've enjoyed gymnastics and swimming and in the winter figure skating.

Have you ever traveled outside of the country? If so, where to?

Yes. I was born in South Africa but emigrated to Australia in 2008.
Feels like a lifetime ago.

What do you do for "me" tiime?

Read, watch reels on facebook, come here. I like to sew but it's hard to do in my very small house.

Is therapy or medication more helpful to you?

Therapy was more useful to me. Medication was actually harmful in the early years. But now that I know no ad and no benzos it’s the more beneficial of the two. I no longer do therapy.

Good question, same Q